Check It

I met this guy through a friend at a Christmas party and we had a successful first date full of laughter, good food and chemistry. When he called for a second date he explained that it was also his birthday. I felt a little awkward about spending that special day with him since we just met, but he said birthdays weren’t a huge deal for him and he’d rather spend it with me than doing something with friends or family. He picked me up and took me to a fancy restaurant that I had read about. I bought him a miniature chocolate cake as a surprise since he was taking me somewhere so nice. 

When we got there he ordered a pricey bottle of red wine and filet mignon. We had a great meal and some romantic kisses, but when the check came he just sat there. I went to the ladies room thinking that there was no way he expected me to pick up the check. When I returned the check was still sitting on the wood table just staring at me. He must have known I was irritated because he said he didn’t have enough cash or a credit card assuming it was my treat. Rather than saying something I paid the $210 bill in a state of shock. I was so disgusted I knew I was never going to talk to him again and I didn’t. Every time I drive by that restaurant I kick myself for picking up that tab.

Comments (21)
LuisaMarch 22nd, 2009 at 10:00 pm

It sucks that you went somewhere so expensive, but paying for a meal isn’t horrible enough to qualify as a worst date in my mind. The tradition of men always paying for dates is silly and sexist anyway.

steveMay 1st, 2009 at 6:44 pm

Yes, but he was the one who invited her out to the restaurant. The general rule of thumb now is that whoever does the inviting is the one who pays.

kate the greatMay 1st, 2009 at 10:21 pm

He asked her out. He pays. That’s how it works.

CacklesMay 25th, 2009 at 7:48 am

Too right this guy should have paid. A tab of $210 — I would have been frothing if I’d been stuck with a bill that high!

AmberJune 13th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

/He/ ordered the expensive wine, /he/ said that birthdays weren’t that big of a deal, /he/ invited her out. No women can’t expect men to pay for all dates, but that guy’s behavior in ordered the most expensive everything and then expecting /her/ to pay is complete crap! $210 for a dinner! NO WAY! I’m mad on her behalf just reading this. Dumping this guy once isn’t enough.

AshleighJuly 5th, 2009 at 7:58 pm

That makes me angry too! It seems like every date I go on the guy orders the most expensive food on the menu and expects me to pay

AnnaJuly 19th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

The person who did the asking out should pay. What a jerk!

ShaneJuly 24th, 2009 at 8:23 am

Wow I cant believe that! too bad his mother never heard about this one!

ChellAugust 9th, 2009 at 10:00 am

I can’t believe a guy would do that! And I always was so careful to order something cheap…What an ass!

BethSeptember 6th, 2009 at 8:09 pm

Perhaps it wasn’t even his birthday…just a scammer trying to get a free dinner and maybe some dessert to go.

BradSeptember 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 am

I agree that it wasn’t his birthday. It is always his birthday. You got conned.

MeredithOctober 2nd, 2009 at 4:06 pm

That sounds like an ongoing scam tactic by a heartless foodie.

actrightJanuary 21st, 2010 at 6:31 pm

I can’t believe how many women for pressured to pick up the check.

AceyJanuary 30th, 2010 at 11:41 am

I would say something about it being sexist for someone to assume the male always pays for dates, but seeing as he had invited you he really should’ve paid, whether it was his birthday or not.

MarianFebruary 3rd, 2010 at 3:09 pm

I can’t beleive such guys really exist!

MikeyFebruary 24th, 2010 at 7:09 am

There are SO many good restaurants that offer a “Birthday deal” where the birthday “boy/girl” gets their entree free.. If it had really been his birthday, she could have insisted on seeing proof, so she could suggest something like that. My birthday is next week, and I’ve got two places in mind that offer such a deal.. wonder if I can get the military discount too… :)

JakeApril 1st, 2010 at 11:15 am

Look CHECKIT; here’s the reality of this situation:

Your date had every intention of paying but he was likely annoyed by the fact that you didn’t even offer (pretending to reach for your purse when you have no intention of paying doesnt count). He also made a conscious decision to piss you off enough, to the point that he would never have to see you again – believe me this was the outcome he anticipated.

And you can’t say that he was just stupid or oblivious because then you’d have to ask yourself – do I date stupid people? Mark my words this was his plan from the beginning.

Ladies: chivalry is not dead – Men (the ones who have class) enjoy taking his date out to dinner , showing her a good time and taking care of everything, including the bill. These men are just annoyed with the constant bombardment of messages in the media, office,the magazines you read etc. about the Woman’s movement to be equal. So naturally, Men get confused. We all have the same rights, same opportunities, get PAID the same amount, etc – point is, everything is EQUAL (I grant we’re not entirely there yet but we’re moving in the right direction).

As I said, a good Man likes to take care of everything for his Lady – though the Woman’s movement has reminded us all of our equality, so there’s no reason why the Lady can’t step up as well. You tend not to though and why? Well, because you know it’s expected for you not to have to pay, and this actually shows that you’re cheap and that you’re taking advantage of the sitation.

- And that’s the real reason why your date left you high and dry CHECKIT!

-jk

Rachel ChenApril 7th, 2010 at 10:23 pm

JK-

Equality is where they split the bill. Not, where a man asks out a woman, orders lots of expensive stuff and then wants her to pay. It would have been just as rude for a woman to do the same. He didn’t do it because he is “confused” by women declining to be doormats these days, he did because he is a jerk.

RC

Ella MayMay 5th, 2010 at 2:37 am

hoping “jk” means Just Kidding.

Tara K.May 5th, 2010 at 10:12 am

Hi Jake.. I’m the OP… while I appreciate your 4+ paragraph comment I don’t think you’re right. He called me literally for weeks after this date wondering why I didn’t want to see him and kept asking me out. I have no problem paying my share or treating the guy so if this was indeed a test it was he who failed.

JenineAugust 22nd, 2010 at 2:08 pm

Although I never let a man pay for my dinner, this would have annoyed me to no end. The only time I expect a person to treat me to dinner is if it’s specified before hand, and even then I would never order expensive wine and a fancy steak. I can’t help agreeing with previous commenters, though, I bet it wasn’t even his birthday :/

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