Advice for Hedging Your Bets

 

Our current Great Recession is getting tougher every day. Could dating, em, rich be the way out? We went to Tatiana Boncompagni, a journalist and author who’s specialized in chronicling the ways of the rich and aspiring, for advice on following the money. While researching her second novel, Hedge Fund Wives, she took a lot of HFWs to lunch and asked them all sorts of prying questions, including how to successfully date (even in this economy!) a hedge funder/banker/financier for that Happily-Ever-Harry-Winston-after.

Here’s what Tatiana, who’s happily married, gleaned tips-wise: 

1. Pretend not to care about money, but look like you’ve got plenty of it. (No matter how bad things get, he still doesn’t want to date a girl with chipped nails, frizzy hair and overgrown eyebrows.)

2. Cook for him. (Broiling a steak is surprisingly easy, ladies.)

3. If you happen to make more money than him, don’t rub it in his face. (And don’t tell your friends, who will gladly do it for you.)

4. Try not to laugh when he starts crying at the ATM.

5. Knowing how to give a great blow job works in any economy.

And Tatiana had a few more words of wisdom to add to this list: 

“If you follow these simple rules you may just be able to survive the recession with your relationship intact. But might I suggest that any of you eager readers out there take a second or two to ask yourself: Is it really worth it? Consider the opportunity costs—i.e. the hotties you could be dating—and the costs (all the upkeep and ego stroking!) versus benefits (that diamond engagement ring is getting smaller by the day…) and come to your own conclusion.”