Good Cop, Bad Cop

Man. He did NOTHING wrong and you didn’t even give him a chance. Not only cops, but preparedness-minded guys are always thinking ahead. He wanted to face the door to stop a threat if it happened. He was protecting you and being a gentleman.

He is a COP. You knew he was a cop. He is incredibly well-trained to use his weapon in a very safe manner. I am shocked you made an off-duty undercover officer not carry his pistol. The fact he did it at all must have meant he really liked you.

God, these are all things my boyfriend does and he isn’t even a cop yet. I came from a world where no one carries guns, so it was strange at first. I didn’t just shut down, however. I listened to his point of view and learned about it. You might have missed out on a great opportunity here. Cops can overreact to ‘threats’, but can you blame them with the shit they see?

He may have been a great catch, but he totally overreacted. Ask any average person and they would be distrubed by this on a first date (you are biased because you say your boyfriend does the same thing). She describes the catcalling as “pretty harmless.” I have nothing against cops or people who own guns legally, but this is way too much for a first date sorry

I agree. I would have been freaked out as well–he overreacted.

While shouting to get in the car might’ve been a bit much the rest of it’s ridiculous. If this guy is going to approach the cat callers as a cop he needs to have his gun. Can you imagine the trouble he’d be in if the cat callers pulled a gun on him and he was forced to admit that his was in the trunk? Since he was a COP getting his gun from the trunk before approaching a situation is just in his training.

If you ask me the whole story seems made up. Who asks a cop to take their gun off? What cop takes his gun off and leaves it in his first date’s car? What if the date were to drive off leaving him in a confrontational situation? LIKE SHE DID!!!

Confronting cat callers with a gun? I don’t care who you are, that is ridiculous.

Technically she didn’t see him confront the cat callers with the gun waving. My bet is he holstered it. Had it at his side like he’s supposed to.

Tara, I said I was weirded-out at first. I also agree with the if he yelled at her to get in the car then he might overreacted, but from her reactions to everything else I don’t know if I trust her judgment. He might have said it calmly but assertively to show he wasn’t afraid. It could be any number of ways. He did most likely holster the gun. A cop doesn’t just point a gun at guys. He might not even have confronted them, period. She has no idea.

Cat-calling isn’t as innocent as it sounds. A group of guys cat-calling at woman and her date? First, I know where I am that can turn really dangerous really quickly. Maybe she is oblivious to things like that. Again, he is a cop and knows what the worst-case scenario is. In the end he was just protecting his date. Any problem she had she should have brought up to him instead of just ignoring him from that point on. Maybe he would have acknowledged his overreaction (cops tend to need civilians to remind them of how regular people act). Especially if he was an undercover. They see the bad shit all the time up close and personal.

The only thing she complained about the date were areas where he was being too much like a cop, so it is possible that the other aspects of the date weren’t terrible, but maybe there wasn’t much of a connection so she focused on this stuff. Who knows.

I guess in the end she is pretty lucky if this is her worst date. It isn’t so bad.

It’s also possible that he noticed some hint of illegal or dangerous activity that she was oblivious to– he might have recognized these guys from a previous encounter, one might have fit a suspect description that he remembered, etc. If that’s the case, it would be his duty to respond to the situation.

Also, if this lady felt uncomfortable having dinner with him while he was carrying, she shouldn’t have gone on a date with a cop. Many officers choose to carry all the time. It sounds like she had never socialized with a police officer before and just didn’t know what to expect.

If she was in his car, how did she peel out and leave him behind? I don’t buy this.

I was raised by two cops. The thing about facing the door? Yes, that really is a cop thing. It’s normal. My dad is retired now and he still won’t sit with his back to the door in a public place, 6 years into retirement.

My dad was also one to carry a gun with him wherever he went. They’re well trained in how to use them and I don’t think this man was out of bounds retrieving it from his trunk. As other people have said, he probably just holstered it.

Did he overreact by shouting at her to get in the car? Maybe. Maybe Layla is right and he recognized them as dangerous.

As someone who grew up with a family member in law enforcement, I think this is pretty weird.

It sounds like he overreacted (why didn’t he get into the car with her, lock the doors, and drive off??)…and then she did, too.

Did she even consider the possibility that the “cat-callers” were dirtbags the cop had some prior experience with? And that the “cat-calls” were directed at him, not her?

Sounds like he was just being a good cop, and a chivalrous date.

I cannot believe you drove off like that! He was clearly seeing something that alerted him to danger. I have dated a cop before and it is paert of their training to constantly be aware of their surroundings, hence the reason why they like to be where they can see doorways and entrances.

As for his “reaction” to the cat callers, yes my guess is that this is something he took as a threat or like previously stated, how do you not know that one or more of these individuals was someone he sensed danger from? What is one of those cat callers was a wanted fugitive that he recognized?

You could have at least taken his call for an explanation of what happened after you took off, for all you know he may have saved you from being hurt or worse that night. You owe him at least the decency for him to tell you what happened.

Who cares if he overreacted or not? She was not cool with this behavior, and I wouldn’t be either. Some people way get turned on by this. I would this he’s a freaking psycho expecting someone to kill us any moment. Kind of a buzz kill.

If him doing his job freaks you out, then yes you don’t need to date him.

In case some of you have forgotten an officer of the law is tecnically never “off-duty”. Yes they may be off their shift, but they are still required to act in case of them being aware or suspicious that a crime is being committed. If they do they are required to act. It is much like what is required of a doctor/nurse/EMT/firemen. If they see something happening they are required to respond to the situation no matter where they are. If he had not responded to a situation that he took as a potential threat, he could have lost his job!

You were nervous about having dinner with a cop who had a concealed weapon? What the hell is wrong with you??

“First, I know where I am that can turn really dangerous really quickly. Maybe she is oblivious to things like that.”

I would bet that she was completely oblivious to some danger that was obvious to him. After all, a person who isn’t oblivious doesn’t ask a cop to not wear a gun. I say this qualifies as a bad date, but for him.

Don’t date people in law enforcement if you can’t handle someone carrying, or someone who actually knows what is going on around them. There are painfully few people in this world who have situational awareness.

way too over protective