Unmaid Match

BOU202905

 

I had been dating this one guy on and off for a couple of weeks. There was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on about him, something odd, so I never went forward with a physical relationship. He had mentioned once or twice how that chafed him, but I was interested in taking it slow. He was also having a hard time hearing about recent scholastic and professional successes of mine, however minor.

A week before I went back to school, he got in touch with me saying he wanted to hang out before I left, at his apartment. I figured, this is it, and got all pretty. He didn’t live in a great neighborhood and promised me a ride back to the nearest public transportation. Then he informed me that his girlfriend is coming over in a couple of hours, and would I be so kind as to help him clean his apartment for her arrival. Apparently he thought my lack of physical interaction with him meant that we were friends– friends who clean each others’ apartments. I was totally dumbfounded, so I said okay, I would be happy to help with something small, and then he handed me the vacuum cleaner and took a shower. I realized then that he was punishing me for not putting out, and was knocking me back a few pegs. He came out 20 minutes later and stood there in his boxers and a button down shirt, watching me. He said, “I can’t tell if you hate this or if it’s turning you on”. 
I told him he could leave me a tip on the dresser. 
I should have run out into the street but it was an unsafe neighborhood, in the winter, in the dark. My mother suggested that I should have left my panties in his bed, for this next unfortunate woman to find. He texted me a week later, thanking me for the huge favor.

I had been dating this one guy on and off for a couple of weeks. There was something I couldn’t quite put my finger on about him, something odd, so I held back on starting a physical relationship. This decision chafed him, as he himself mentioned once or twice, but I was interested in taking it slow. He also seemed to have a hard time hearing about my recent scholastic and professional successes, however minor.

A week before I went back to school, he got in touch with me saying he wanted to hang out before I left. At his apartment. I figured this was the night it would all happen and got all pretty. He didn’t live in a great neighborhood and promised me a ride back to the nearest public transportation when I got there. 

He then informed me that his girlfriend was coming over in a couple of hours, and asked if I would be so kind as to help him clean his apartment for her arrival. Apparently, he thought my lack of physical interaction with him meant that we were friends – friends who clean each others’ apartments.

I was totally dumbfounded. In my shock, I said I would be happy to help with something small. He handed me the vacuum cleaner and proceeded to jump into the shower. I realized then that he was punishing me for not putting out, and was knocking me back a few pegs.

He came out 20 minutes later and stood there in his boxers and a button down shirt, watching me.

“I can’t tell if you hate this or if it’s turning you on,” he said. 

I responded by saying that he could leave me a tip on the dresser. 

When I later related this sorry tale to my mother, she said that I should have left my panties in his bed for the next unfortunate woman to find. He did text me after a week to thank me for the huge favor.

Comments (22)
LalaAugust 6th, 2009 at 9:40 am

WHY IN THE WORLD would you clean his apartment?

JBAugust 6th, 2009 at 10:37 am

Well this is kinda of funny in the sense that…if you’re acting like nothing more than friends-then we are friends and friends help each other out. Like helping me clean up the place for my girlfriend. LOL. She doesn’t metion whether they kissed or not so I’ll assume they didn’t- in that case good for him. But yeah still a horrible date from the girls perspective.

emilyAugust 6th, 2009 at 12:21 pm

You cleaned his apartment? Wow.

karenAugust 6th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

That is a new way of saying “Friends with benefits.” I would say “hell to the no” and get it out of there. The physical thing was definitely a red flag. Even though he has a gf.

jrAugust 6th, 2009 at 3:17 pm

WHY WHY WHY did you vacuum??? WTF, lady!

cellardoorAugust 6th, 2009 at 10:07 pm

Are you insane? Why the f**k did you do that? Please tell me you realize how ridiculous this was, and that you vow never ever to do that to yourself again. I am now rendered totally speechless.

MelleAugust 7th, 2009 at 4:18 am

This is my first visit to your site and wow so funny. I just love your mums suggestion!

WhoaAugust 7th, 2009 at 5:35 am

LOL I must agree with the other commenters….”in shock” you said you would do something small? If I was in shock, I likely would have said “F**k no, a**hole” and stomped out of there. I know we tend to do dumb things when we are totally unprepared, but this is ridiculous.

TronAugust 7th, 2009 at 9:49 am

I’m so confused. You held off on the physical because you recognized something was off. You admit it was an “off and on” dating thing. You get to the house and he announces he has a girlfriend and you STILL stayed and cleaned his crap up?

labranoodleAugust 7th, 2009 at 3:08 pm

I don’t know…I think that half of the negative experience you had on this …”date” (for the lack of a better word) was honestly kinda your fault. I mean obviously he was a total douchesac making you clean for his girlfriend, but honestly..why did you (a)stay on (b)fucking AGREE TO IT

If this was an FML post…”you deserve it” x 1000000000

Airica AngelAugust 7th, 2009 at 8:05 pm

i have to ask- are you fucking stupid? wtf made you clean his apartment? furthermore, wtf is wrong with you that it seems acceptable for a man to invite you over and then tell you he’d DROP YOU OFF AT THE NEAREST PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION? WTF KIND OF IDIOT DATES A MAN THAT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ENOUGH RESPECT TO DRIVE HER HOME, BUT WILL LEAVE HER AT A DAMN BUS STOP?? you deserve this shit. you’ll probably end up dating another loser,because i highly doubt you really figured out all the shit that was wrong with this date. and how does dating for a couple of weeks constitute holding out for sex?? how soon do you usually have sex?
i’m not sure who’s the bigger douche, him or you.

Miss PenelopeAugust 8th, 2009 at 12:20 am

It’s a funny story actually. Ok you come off as a shnook vacuuming his place. But telling him to leave a tip was funny. I suggest you send him an email with some home cleaning services phone numbers and leave it at that. If he asks to see you again say sure, if you can snatch this pebble from my hand….

rawrAugust 8th, 2009 at 6:12 am

The dude’s a douche but you’re a dumbass. Were you still in shock twenty minutes after starting to clean his apartment? Way to show that dumbass that treating people like shit works. You show people how to treat you, and you definitely showed everyone that it’s okay to treat you like shit. Hopefully you’ve learned to grow a spine by now.

LisaAugust 8th, 2009 at 10:39 am

The dude’s REALLY a douche.

I trust you’ll never be similarly shocked into passivity again– unfortunately, most young women have to learn assertiveness through experience. Took me years to recognize the fact that not ALL men are as honorable & gentlemanly as my dear old dad– I’d be puzzled by apparently bad behavior, then try to rationalze some sort of misunderstanding on my behalf.

Do you suppose he really DID have another chick coming over, or was he just trying to play “hard ball” with you? Maybe he thought you’d find him irresistible if you thought there was competition for him?

Or perhaps the obvious explanation is the correct one– he’s a skirt-chasing oaf.

Can’t decide which scenario makes him more repulsive.

Could have been worse– at least you didn’t do the horizontal hula BEFORE he asked to help clean up for his girlfriend’s arrival.

jeffAugust 8th, 2009 at 12:58 pm

You guys are mean. What he did is f’n funny and totally justifiable, if not deserved, in any guy’s mind. Lighten up.

Dad JeansAugust 8th, 2009 at 6:31 pm

it’s ironic that you were going to go all the way with him on the night that he asked you to clean his apartment instead. i wonder if he knew “that” would’ve happened? you must live in LA, where after 3 dates people end up sleeping with each other. i also wonder if this guy had a girlfriend prior to your dating him?

at least he wants to be tidy and you can respect that.

TaraAugust 8th, 2009 at 6:33 pm

Jesus people calm down. So she made one mistake by doing a small cleaning job. If people didn’t stay on bad dates then this site wouldn’t even exist. Calling people a “dumbass” or using “WTF” five times in one comment is straight up lame. If people feel hated on then they won’t post their dates ever.

wendyAugust 10th, 2009 at 8:49 am

I can see being shocked into cleaning, we do weird things when we’re not prepared. But I hate the image of him standing there after the shower watching you, like he tried to knock you down a few pegs and he did it. If I were you i’d be wishing I hadn’t cleaned. It’s like he won.

BonnieAugust 26th, 2009 at 11:22 am

You’re an idiot for even cleaning a “small” amount. I would have trashed his apartment while he was in the shower and then got out of there. Your mother has more sense than you doat least she suggested something evil. Wow you truly need help. @ Tara what’s straight up lame is the fact that you think someone shouldn’t be called out on their obvious stupidity maybe at one point you did something similiar to this and it struck some sort of cord. It’s one thing to see how a bad date plays out it’s another to CLEAN a man’s apartment before his GIRLFRIEND comes home. Earth to Tara come in Tara!

meDecember 9th, 2009 at 10:21 pm

Tara, I hope you’re no longer a pushover.
I hope everybody watches “he’s just not that into you” – can we stop making excuses for men that have no relation to reality?

meDecember 9th, 2009 at 11:35 pm

@jeffaugust –
what he did was justifiable and deserved?!?! WHAT THE FUHHHHHH…
wait so a man who’s dating a woman is entitled to sex? you are one sick individual if you truly believe that, and I’d love to tell every woman I know to avoid you like the plague. or, more accurately, syphylis.

RobinMay 31st, 2010 at 3:16 pm

Well he DID thank you…..so…..there’s that.

PFFFT!

Leave a comment
Your comment