Wifey’s On The Mind
I was complaining to a friend at work about not having been on a date in awhile and a male coworker overheard me. He asked if he could set me up with a friend of his who had been feeling down and “could use the company of a good woman.” I agreed to meet his friend for a happy hour drink a few days later. The co-worker showed me a photo of the guy so I would know who to look for.
When I arrived at the restaurant, he greeted me and I thought he was cute. I soon found out what he thought of me.
“You look so much like my ex-wife – it’s amazing!” he said squinting at me.
I was a little shocked since I did not know he had been married before. He then explained, without my prompting, that the “ex” was actually still his wife since they had been married for seven years and only separated for two.
He then proceeded to tell me that she already found a new boyfriend, that she had most likely cheated on him before they were separated, and that he couldn’t believe she had done this to him because they had a daughter together. I did not know the daughter part either, but at this point I had already give up on this date.
He then called his ex-wife every four-letter word I know of, and some I hadn’t heard before. He kept running his fingers through his hair and talking quickly, and he seemed to get more and more agitated as he talked about her. He never asked me a single question about myself!
I made up an excuse to leave after about 30 minutes, and he insisted on walking me home. It was getting dark, so I agreed. For the entire 15-minute walk, he talked about his salary, repeating over and over: “you don’t want to even know how much I bring in.” And I really didn’t want to know, so I stayed silent.
“You wouldn’t believe it if I told you,” he said. “It’s more money than you have ever seen in your life.”
Finally, acting exasperated as if I had been trying to get him to reveal his income, he told me that he makes $400,000 a year. I doubted this, but stayed silent. I don’t think I said a single word during the entire walk.
When we reached my house, he leaned in to kiss me, and I ran into the house before he could make contact. I ran upstairs to peek through a window to make sure he sauntered away.
