Cheers, Mate!

I met a guy online and eventually he asked me out on a date. We met up at a restaurant where we had a lovely dinner with decent conversation. He had a few beers during dinner, but I was drinking too, so I wasn’t really concerned about it.
Afterward, we walked over to a bar to have some drinks and chat. He had a few more drinks and proceeded to chat up the girl in the booth next to ours. He was almost totally turned around in his seat just to talk to her. I sat there and stewed for a few minutes, but when they exchanged phone numbers, I decided it was time to leave. He couldn’t figure out why I was mad.
He followed me back to my car, where he asked me to give him a blow job – right there in the parking lot. The next day, he emailed and apologized for his behavior, explaining that he was an alcoholic.



I would have left as soon as he turned around.
This one is kind of sad instead of funny
omg what a dick.
The best answer to his highly inappropriate question:
“By ‘blow job’ you mean ‘elbow in the face’, right?”
Yeah, he was a tool. When he told me he was an alcoholic, I thought “no shit?”