Sir Speedy

POKEMON PORN‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽‽ (add about a thousand more interrobangs there)

Anyway:

So he calls you cheap but doesn’t want to pay himself? Nice.
(Although the general etiquette these days is that whoever does the inviting is the one that pays. I don’t know who invited whom, but it doesn’t really matter on the tip thing considering he wasn’t the one paying anyway and assuming he knew what kind of job you had.)

Yeah, and not doing any “pleasing” in return? That’s just crappy.

Hit the “submit” button before I could add this:

It just seems like he needs to get a damn clue. :/

WOW – I think this guy has a twin somewhere near me! There are sooooo many guys like this, it is scary. But hey! Put your foot down, and demand some things, too (well, nicely) . If you start off doing it all for them, they NEVER change. Let him know up front that you are totally worth all of his time, and effort, cash, and attention. I hope you totally stomped out of there and slammed the door! UGH – men!

Why the heck would you have sex with him again after he insulted your place and was rude to you in a restaurant?? Ordinarily I would say: “He better be dynamite in the sack.” but in this case you know he’s not…

I don’t feel so sorry for you considering you still gave him the goods after his deplorable behavior. I’ve dated assholes like that, and they didn’t pull that shit on me and still get laid (I might have stayed with them, but I was too angry to drop my drawers). Yeah, he was a dick, but please learn a lesson — assholes use women like you over and over and over again. Stop being used, and put your foot down.

Also, I could give a crap about tab protocol — when person x has a job that brings in a substantial income gets asked by person y, who works at Applebee’s, on a date, person x shouldn’t be a jerk and let person y assume the bill. Why? Because person X might forget that their tastes don’t reflect the budget of Person Y. Should they not go on a date because of money? No, both parties should be aware of realistic expectations. If you are X, don’t order like a klutz if you don’t intend on taking up your half of the tab. It’s inconsiderate, rude, and doesn’t earn you second dates. It apparently earns you some tail if you are dating the OP.

completely agree with Michelle, why would you put out after he was a complete jerk? pathetic.

This is why one NEVER dates fanboys! I won’t say they are all like this, but chances are very good.

I also want to know why you bothered trying to have sex with him after the jerkboy behavior at the restaurant? I would have said goodnight to him at the door. After all, you already knew he wasn’t any good in bed….

That’s just pitiful. Do you have NO self-respect?

I’m so sick of how the MVWD comment threads all immediately blame the submitter for all the things she/he did wrong. Not only is it preachy and just plain lame and annoying, but chances are people will eventually stop posting their dates here… after all, who wants a bunch of strangers picking apart their actions and telling them what they SHOULD have done?

Hallelujah to Luna! If people didn’t make mistakes on dates there would never be bad dates or a blog called My Very WORST Date. This blog is to entertain (and sure, teach some of us what not to do next time), but ripping the author to shreds is no way to do it. “L” is everything you do perfect and full of self respect?!!! I NEVER understood commenters who just hate on the poster. Lighten up and get a life!

PS. Some girls want to get laid too. Have you never heard of a guy sleeping with a super annoying chick just to get some? Stop shaming the posters!

wow, you are easy.

Luna said what I’ve been wanting to write here for weeks. I can’t believe how many mean-spirited people comment on these posts. It seems that almost half of the comments on any given post try to blame or criticize the OP for things going wrong. Do you get off on being a total jerk? If so, watch out, you may very well end up as someone’s Very Worst Date…

People WILL stop submitting stories here out of fear of people leaving retarded asshole comments. I wanted to submit a story but I’m not a fan of strangers picking me apart over a brief story, so I’m never going to bother.

I can sorta kinda relate to the story with a boyfriend I had who got increasingly douchey with time (typical, I guess). We’d be in the middle of foolin’ around and if he was ever doing something to help me out, he’d stop halfway through, go “I’m tired” and roll over and go to sleep.

a) Not all of the posts’ comments criticize the submitter. Hyperbole isn’t helpful. :/ There are a fair number of criticisms, some helpful (like when people were being unsafe or when the commenter is honestly trying to help the submitter avoid whatever crap in the future) and some not so much.
b) I can see Kitty, Michelle, MaryKate, and Janipur’s points about having sex with him (especially after the submitter called him a jerk), but I can also see Tara K’s point. (Most) women like sex, too! For all anyone knows, she just wanted to get laid, was hoping the first time was a fluke and/or he’d make it up with other, non-penetrative sex stuff, and would not bother with him anymore after they had sex. Maybe. We’ll never know unless the submitter decides to comment.
c) So Vera, will you say that men who just want to have sex are “easy”, too? If so, well, at least you’re not holding to any double standards.
d) In any case, this dude was an asshat, no matter what the submitter may or may not have done wrong. And hopefully the submitter will be able to avoid the Signs of Asshattedness in the future.

“…will you say that men who just want to have sex are “easy”, too? If so, well, at least you’re not holding to any double standards.”

raw– Hate to break this to you, but there are and will always be different standards for men & women when it comes to promiscuity. And rightly so.

In a larger sense, females hold the fate of the species in their hands since they bear young. Women who’re carelessly promiscuous are more likely to bear children by different fathers, likely to raise children without fathers, likely to raise children who are genetically inferior (after all, if you have “standards” about the men you’ll sleep with, those same traits– intelligence, talent, good looks, whatever… would be passed on to your children).

Society looks down on the slut because she’s bad for society.

Since reliable birth control has become available, societal standards have relaxed somewhat. But that’s the reason for the age-old “double standard”. Makes sense.

Amen, Lisa.

you fucked him after he insulted you? if he talked to me that way he’d be going home alone and jerking off!

And speaking of double standards, harsh criticism and shaming are the same whether directed at the OP or subsequent commentary.

I realize the why the double standard is there; I took high school biology. That doesn’t mean that it’s right or that it will always be there. We have no idea what society’s going to think of it in the future. Of course, I’m also assuming that that both parties are being responsible adults about birth control, etc; if they’re not responsible, that’s another situation entirely.

Uhh… he might be an asshole, but the woman is just pathetic.

I understand being sexually frustrated, but it’s like the OP hates herself.

Evolutionary Psychology is neither right or wrong, kind or unkind, beautiful or ugly, moral or immoral. Just a fact of reality so long as the sexes exist.

If humans someday evolve into hermaphrodites , your egalitarian wish will be granted.

(Of course, it wouldn’t solve the “problem” of the unloved slut– I’d wager that a hermaphrodite society would disapprove of its sluts, too. But, at least that tired old male-female double standard would be corrected!)

Lisa, slutty men are bad for society as well–more likely to father children by multiple mothers and to be absentee fathers to some or all of those children. Putting that responsibility solely on women’s shoulders is a societal construct; in reality, both men and women who sleep around and produce these undesirable consequences are responsible for the results. Society should, if society were being objective and logical, look down on both male and female sluts for being destructive to society.

Of course, whether responsible sexual activity makes one a “slut” is a whole different question.

Whoa, what’s with all the bashing of the OP? It was a funny story, I laughed. Then read the comments which pretty much amount to “OP is a slut”. Your reaction to a bad date story is to criticise the author for having sex and accuse them of low self esteem…

The responsibility is on the women not because of societal constructs, but obvious biological ones.

Pregnancy and raising a child are the woman’s burden, once conception occurs. Whether the father sticks around after conception is optional, as thousands of single mothers and single-parent children can attest.

Is it the woman’s responsibility because society says so– or simply because it is so?

Don’t confuse the fact that a man is 50% responsible for the sex act, with who’s ultimately 100% responsible for dealing with the resulting pregnancy. While the law can mandate that fathers lend minimal financial support, the rest is foisted on the woman– she’s indisputably the one who responsibility rests most heavily upon.

Society recognizes that the consequences of promiscuity are much more serious for women than men, hence society disapproves much more more regarding women than men.

What An A*^%*#E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wouldn’t do that to someone who is Obviously VERY Generous!!!! With HER Time & Body!!!!

Well, hells bells, I’m gonna drop my “responsibility” off at the local dumpster next time, derp derp derp. Can’t have a burden if you toss the baby out with the bath water (please, don’t forgive the pun). Society states we must keep these little burdens of joy, not biology. I would think a promiscuous woman would figure that out and toss society right out the door.

Lisa, about a year ago a mother threw her 3 kids off a bridge in some northeastern city. A different man fathered each child. The mother was on welfare, and guess what? She was a bona fide schizophrenic. At least THREE different men screwed an extremely ill woman. Pregnancy and child rearing may be a women’s biological “burden”, but slutty men are just as destructive to society as slutty women. Therefore, it IS a social construct to stigmatize females and then turn around and pat males on the back for the same behavior. Heck, society has a habit of stigmatizing males if they are NOT sluts.
Today we gasp when a baby is found in a dumpster, but that was the norm in times past. If the master of the house took a fancy to the poor, young, lower class maid, he could seduce her or just take it. Nine months later a baby is in the garbage. Please tell me how this makes “Evolutionary Psychological” sense. Evolutionary Psychological hypotheses are like opinions (and ass****s). Everybody’s got one. There is even one hypothesis that goes so far as to say women are not naturally monogamous and it makes no evolutionary sense for them to be so. The reasons for this are compelling, but I won’t go into it now. Just watch a few nature shows. The female more often than not instigates sex when she is ready, with the male (or males) that meet her standards, and she generally cannot tolerate the male anywhere near her when it’s over. She births, nurses, feeds, provides for, teaches, and protects those babies all by herself. Yes, females may “hold the fate of the species in their hands since they bear young”, ( they certainly have that bond AND contribute more DNA), but our social constructs have traditionally given all the credit for this to males and all the blame to females. Adam and Eve anyone? As far as the problem of the “unloved slut”, stop the sexual abuse of children, which is rampant and the root of all evil.

Patty-

In your first two paragraphs you cite instances wherein contemporary men impregnate mentally ill women, and 19th century masters of the house knock-up their staff. Then you throw in a gratuitous mention of child sex abuse. Dramatic, but what’s your point– that men can behave badly? You’ll get no argument from me.

You’re trying to imply that society APPROVES of the male-behavior you mentioned, which simply isn’t the case. Does society have an “opinion” on men fu*king the insane? I’d guess that if we polled a thousand people at random, we’d get an overwhelming majority against the practice. What do you think? It’s not as universal an instance as the broad one of male vs female promiscuity, so we don’t encounter opinions about it on a daily basis.

As for rape & child abuse– yes, men ARE capable of it, but it doesn’t stand to follow that society approves. It’s illegal and harshly-punishable and if you’re still unsure about the societal consensus just ask a prison inmate how rapists and pedophiles are treated in jail.

You’re trying to make a case that societal disapproval of female promiscuity is arbitrary & whack because men are capable of evil sex acts. Except, the exceptions you give are not looked upon kindly by society.

So, back in the realm of sane consenting adults, the reasons I argued in earlier posts still apply.

As for your contention that females aren’t naturally monogamous… well… how true does THAT ring to anyone reading this? What elicits more moral-outrage than a cheating spouse or lover? In fact or fiction or very-worst-date scenario?

How dumb are you to put up with his crap?! There are other guys out there.

What is wrong with you dear lady submitter? The guy calls you cheap, persists in being a jerk when you call him a jerk, complains about your place and “I managed to “please him” numerous times, but he never once made a move to even touch me.”

You need help. Get some therapy asap.

I don’t know why you couldn’t have spotted him for what he was. My advice, no matter how glib don’t f**k anyone until the 3rd date. It is classier and you’ll attract a better class of man. If he’s a great guy the 1st night and comes back, tell him you don’t give it up till the third date and it is an Argentine custom. The third night pull him in at the door and tear it up.

Sound advice in unsound times.

Sounds like neither of the folks mentioned in this story respected themselves enough to move beyond the heat of the moment and consider possible outcomes. Not just pregnancy, but feeling wretched with a bad decision or finding validation in someone else’s crotch.

Either way, bad decisions all round. Who hasn’t made them??