Disposal Expert

hitman_3

As a single mom, dating is not my top priority. However, I am a woman, and I do have certain needs that Ben & Jerry’s simply cannot satisfy. So, urged by some girlfriends, I created an online profile. I was immediately bombarded with offers from scary-sounding, -looking, or -acting men. I waded through the riff-raff and finally found a man who appeared to be intelligent, attractive, employed, educated, and did not abuse emoticons.

We emailed back and forth for a bit and decided to meet for coffee. By this point, I had already let him know that I have a kid. Half way through our date, he mentioned that he wasn’t sure he was comfortable dating someone with a child. I told him I appreciated his honesty and that I completely understood his position. Hell, before I got knocked up I never would have dated a man with kids.

“No, no,” he said ” I still want to see you, I just think we should talk about, um, disposing of the extra baggage. I know ways to make things look accidental.”

What the ever loving F? Needless to say, I flew out of that coffee shop. And that was my first last and only online date. From now on, I’m sticking to the divorced dads at Chuck E Cheese. At least they won’t offer to off my child!

October 5th, 2009 in Just Plain Pathetic, Problematic Point of No Return, WTF?

Comments (25)

LisaOctober 5th, 2009 at 7:54 am

I’m speechless.

LiLiOctober 5th, 2009 at 8:36 am

ummmm…. i’m never online dating. ever.

SpankyOctober 5th, 2009 at 9:51 am

I’ve said this many times. Never do online dating. They are online for a reason. But wow, other than that, I’m totally speechless. This man is not human.

rawrOctober 5th, 2009 at 9:57 am

Holy fuck monkeys! What the fuck is wrong with this dude? At least you found out he was a complete whackjob early on.

DanaOctober 5th, 2009 at 10:12 am

Even if he was making a joke – who makes a sick joke like that?!

NaveenOctober 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am

Appreciate that honesty ….

BethOctober 5th, 2009 at 1:38 pm

To be fair, there are women (Susan Smith comes to mind instantly) who have done just that in order to keep a guy.

PersOctober 5th, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Holy crap! That’s scary. I’d bet you a mysterious disappearance and an unsolved murder that you found this guy on PlentyofFish. Am I right?

Take care of yourself dear lady!

roxieOctober 5th, 2009 at 4:40 pm

@Beth “to be fair”???
More like “to be insane”

megOctober 5th, 2009 at 5:20 pm

It was indeed plentyoffish! How’d you guess!?

My only date in recent history (since this train wreck) has been with my little man…and ya know what? I’m totally happy.

KestrelOctober 5th, 2009 at 7:51 pm

ho-ly shit. I think this takes the cake for worst date ever. EVER.

ellaOctober 6th, 2009 at 1:23 am

I don’t believe this ACTUALLY happened…

PersOctober 6th, 2009 at 3:38 am

(((HUGS MEG)))

*confession time* I met a couple of nice guys that turned out to be weirdos on Plenty of Fish. It just seems to attract that kind of scuzzbucket man. Luckily, my weirdos were harmless…just gross. Your’s takes the cake!

After that, no more online dating for me – I ended up meeting a great guy after all in a more ‘organic’ manner, at a comedy show.

Good things are coming to you Meg! Take care dear one!

Lonie PolonyOctober 6th, 2009 at 6:23 am

WTF??!!?? I don’t think it would go amiss to report this guy to the police.

YGOctober 6th, 2009 at 6:26 am

Can you report someone like that to the cops?? Isn’t there some way to make the public aware that this freak show is out there?

LisaOctober 6th, 2009 at 7:35 am

He at least deserves honorable-mention on “Don’tDateHimGirl!.com”. (Is that site still around?)

Given that he’s a would-be kid assassin, which is more shocking: that he’d blithely suggest this to a mother after knowing her only for a few minutes …. or that he’d be willing to risk his OWN skin to commit this crime, based only on a passing acquaintance?

Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men…

Frau BlucherOctober 6th, 2009 at 11:04 am

yes, dontdatehimgirl.com is still around! i just checked it out the other day.
Actually, i have met a couple of nice guys from POF…not weirdos at all. Not serious relationships, just dating. A couple I met weren’t my type but not weird. I have chatted with a few creeps though, but those are the ones I don’t meet in person!

airica angelOctober 6th, 2009 at 2:17 pm

holy shit… good job on getting the hell out of there- that guy was insane.
btw- for the “never-online-date-blah-blah-blah” people- insanity predates the internet. so do serial killers, child murderers, and general douchebags. online dating didn’t create the monster under the bed, just gave him an extra line of communication. somebody is going to meet this freak in person just like our unfortunate dater met him online. it truly makes no effing difference- people can lie to you in person, too.

LisaOctober 6th, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Yeah, Airica– lunatics exist offline and online, just as dreamboats exist offline and online.

I’ve never done online myself (because I’ve been with the same guy 100 years), but I know lots of people who’re happily married to those they’ve met online.

MLEEOctober 7th, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Met my boyfriend playing World of Warcraft and 2 years later we are happily in love. My sister has been trying to e-date for the last 2 years and has met nothing but social misfits and creeps. Granted she was on CL for a while but even the popular dating sites are full of jerks. A psycho is a psycho no matter where you meet them, the key is to take your time getting to know them and felling completly comfortable before you meet them. Even then have an escape route.

I would DEFINITELY report this guy to someone BTW.

PersOctober 8th, 2009 at 8:42 am

Oh, I met a fantastic guy on WoW a few years ago too…we ended up dating for a number of months. I wasn’t trying to say that everyone we meet online is crazy, just that Plenty of Fish seems to have a higher quantity of nuts. Maybe because the site is free? Dunoo. Cheers!

MLEEOctober 8th, 2009 at 2:18 pm

@Pers .. That may be why, just like CL that attracts the dregs of society lol. Now listen there were more than a few e-stalkers in WoW as well lol. I got lucky and got rid of them easily but I hear ya lol. My BFF is actually now married and expecting with a guy she met who came from my guild at the time to heal her for her Kara key Ah the digital age when a girl playing a gnome and a boy playing a female Night Elf can meet and fall in love LMAO .. Best!