Grace Guy
I met this guy online. He was pretty cute so I was excited to meet him in person. We agreed to have dinner and go to a baseball game. Once I saw him outside the restaurant, my heart sunk. The picture he posted must have been at least ten years old, because a middle-aged man stood before me with a gut that hung over his pants, and a huge bald spot. Still, I decided to press on.
During dinner, he would not allow me to order for myself, or really speak to the waiter at all. Once our food arrived, he tried to cut my it for me. He stopped me from eating and asked in a shocked voice “Don’t you pray first?” Without allowing me to respond, he covered my hands with his and prayed for the both of us.
I was completely revolted, but I couldn’t bring myself to make an excuse and leave. We had to take a train to the baseball field, and while en route, he decided he needed to spit out his gum, but couldn’t bear to just hang onto the wrapper for 15 minutes until our stop. So he jumped off the train to get to a trash can, and narrowly avoided being slammed inside the doors on his way back in.
During the baseball game, he alternated between talking like Yoda from Star Wars, and showing me pictures of every single football game he’s ever been to on his cell phone. During Take Me Out To the Ballgame, he put his arm around me. To escape, I excused myself to the restroom, where he insisted on escorting me and waited outside. On our way back, it was cold, so he grabbed both of my arms and held them together, and rubbed them vigorously to help me “warm up.” I had to snap at him twice “I’m fine!” to get him to let go.
Once back at my car, he hugged me while holding an umbrella in his hand, which snagged my hair and nearly pulled a piece of it out. I yelled “ow!” He responded with: “Oh, sorry. By the way, you’re really pretty. Would you like to go to Mass with me tomorrow?” I told him I already had plans, and got the hell out of there.
He then proceeded to persistently to call, email and text until I finally told him we had no chemistry and it wasn’t going to happen. He seemed really surprised.
