Third Time’s Not a Charm
I was in a dry spell and met a seemingly charming friend of a friend. We drunkenly made out and our next date was dinner and (mediocre) sex at my house where he revealed that he hadn’t had sex in two years. I realized I found him dull, but decided to give him another chance, trying to be open. He took me out to a cheap dinner, where things did not improve. When I prepared to leave by myself he went into a crying tantrum on the street over his disappointed expectations of sex and the mess of his life. I should note that he was 42.
I ignored his calls until he showed up at my door to take me to a surprise apology lunch. At the end of the lame lunch he didn’t have cash so I ended up paying. Now every time he sees me he stares and sighs like a creepy 13 year old boy. I went to a wedding and was staying at the bride’s house with her cranky mother when he informed me, not asked me, that he was sleeping there on an outdoor couch. The next morning she chewed him out for leeching and kicked him out. It was priceless.
