Animated Hot Mess

My Very Worst Date happened when I was 18 and working at Kmart. A new hire asked me out on a date halfway through our shift and for some reason I agreed. He was a year younger than me, shorter than me, and (I kid you not) looked exactly like Prince.

After work I drove us (he didn’t have a car) across town to Steak ‘n Shake. While there, he let me know that he was an anime freak. He told me that he looked just like some character in his favorite anime. He usually dressed like this character and had even adopted his mannerisms. I couldn’t get a word in the conversation at all to move it into a better direction. He also told me that the last time that he was at a S ‘n S, he and his date ended up fucking in the alley by the dumpster. The anime thing was bad enough. His desire to hook-up next to a dumpster was really just too much for me.

I then drove him home and found out that he lived with his brother, whose house was right across the street from my elementary school. He suggested that I just pull into the parking lot of the school. I thought that he was going to get out of the car and walk the 20 yards to his brother’s house. He thought that we were going to be making out (since there was no alley at the S ‘n S we went to, this was his second choice, I guess). I kissed him once and insisted that I had to get home and write an important paper for class.

After that, he didn’t show up at work for a week and was fired. Then about 10 days after the “date,” he called and asked if I would drive him to Orlando. The thought of being in the car with him for 2.5 hours, while he did his stupid little anime mannerisms every single chance that he got, turned my stomach. I told him that my car was in the shop and I never heard from him again.