Drive By
I was a cashier at a hardware store while in college and worked with lots of men, so I learned how to tune them out, and make friends with the least offensive types. There was this big brother type who operated a successful hot dog stand in the parking lot of the hardware store and he kept talking about how his nephew would find me attractive. Finally, I met the nephew, who was tall, tanned and so handsome it was unreal. He eventually asked me out and we went to a nice dinner at a restaurant adjacent to a mall near his hometown. We held hands and began a conversation about beauty and how mean people appear ugly after their personality is revealed. He agreed with me. He hung on every word I said and I felt great.
We ended up taking our conversation to a coffee shop with an outdoor patio and I couldn’t wait for that goodnight kiss. Suddenly, a car pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop, tires screeching. We ignored it and went about our business of flirty talk and affectionate leg rubbing under the table. A short man in his twenties came out and called out my date’s name.
“Do I know you buddy?” asked my date. The guy came up to him, and although looked like he was going to punch him, he did something else. Something I wont ever forget.
The man’s fingers, in a scooping motion, smeared something on my date’s upper lip, milillieters from his nose and started running to his car, yelling, “I just ‘effed Stacy, this is what she smells like right now.”
He drove off, and my mouth was open, horrified. People on the patio were laughing and some were screaming “ewwww!” I know that what the short man put on my date’s lip was the real deal because my date looked like he was going to vomit. He used the closest napkin to him and he couldn’t bear to look at me except to mumble “Crazy ex girlfriend.” The experience was so traumatizing that I didn’t even think to ask how this guy knew where we’d be. I only knew we wouldnt have a goodnight kiss and I definitely didn’t want to catch a whiff of Stacy. He dropped me off without a word and when we saw each other at his uncle’s stand we would both look away embarrassed.
Foul. Oh so foul.
It’s poor Stacy who gets MY sympathy.
(Note to self: never boff short-man-in-his-twenties, known as “Buddy”)
This makes me really sad.
Did the mall (where the date was) have a Hot Dog On A Stick? I love those uniforms.
Lisa, based on the date’s comment, it kind of sounds as though Stacy orchestrated the whole thing.
This is seriously one of the strangest things I’ve ever heard.
That is definitely a mood killer. Don’t see a way to come back from that! This is officially the worst date i’ve ever read on here!
Seems a bit harsh the guy didn’t get a second date; it wasn’t /his/ fault.
Duncan, it wasn’t his fault but it doesn’t sound like he wanted a second date due to his embarrassment.
man, that is sad! he comes off like a nice, maybe even worth while guy. I don’t know, I may have given him another chance considering how prevalent crazy exes are, despite how fucking weird the event was. it’s not as if he was planning on being smeared in public, anyway (nuts!) I dunno. crazy story. I guess it takes someone who has dealt with crazy exes to empathize, but who knows. if it looked as if it’d be a continuing problem I’d left it alone. but, all that said, maybe it had more to do with him not wanting to put in the effort to get over the embarrassment and start fresh. still, sad, sounds as if he had potential. ah well.
actually the guy doesn’t sound bad….he must have been truly mortified. I feel kind of bad for him…i bet this stacy is a total wackjob, that’s my feeling, and once this happened, he has no idea how to come back. But how embarrassing and horrible for both of you on every level. You couldn’t ask for a worst first date (outside of being drugged and raped, of course).
You didn’t go out on another date with him because of a smear campaign??
OMG! Dirty Sanchez!
Sarah February!! AAAAAHH!!! Hahahaha! You win
And I lose, for thinking your name was “Sarah February”!!
Oh dear.
I would have called this guy and asked for a second date. He sounds really sweet, but he was probably too embarrassed to approach the sender again after such a mortifying scene. Sometimes it’s up to the girl to re-initiate contact and smooth things over.
Haha! Oh Squirrel…
Okay, after rereading this, I guess this Stacy character must have engineered it… for reasons that will elude me for the rest of my life.
I think you should ask him out for coffee and give him a 2nd chance, but this time eat inside the coffee shop so nobody can drive-by and see you…….Makes ya think the short guy either knew where he would be OR he was driving around with Stacy in his hand for the hell of it, and that’s nasty
Yah i agree…just say, That must have been really embarrassing for you.
And then if you think you can, just ask if he’d like to tell you about stacey…listen we all have exes we’d like to forget.
This is the most entertaining story I’ve ever read on this website!
So disgusting I feel really sorry for the guy.
LOL @ Smear campaign.
Smear campaign!!
Best. Comment. Evar!
And yes, that poor, poor boy.
Worst date ever? For HIM, not for HER! Why did SHE submit this? Was she trying to get our pity? Preposterous.
Francois- Of course it’s his worst date, but you don’t think it could also qualify as her worst date? It sounded like if the “smear” didn’t happen they would have dated and possibly had a relationship. To be waiting for your first kiss and instead have this happen of course it’s her worst date too. I don’t think she asked for any pity she simply told her story and clearly everyone agrees that it’s a worst date look at the votes!
Yea, and using votes George Bush got elected in 2004 too… so don’t talk to me about votes!
That is freakin disgusting…
1. note the license plate number
2. wipe your face off
3. call the cops
4. submit evidence and get witness statements
5. press charges for assault
All the comments here are funny. Reasonwe didnt go out again was becasue the guy was so embarassed, he literally couldnt look at me after I would try to make small talk. He seemed so nice and night had gone so well. It was most disgusting and worst date ever forboth of us, I would bet. And Joeyd, i completely agreewith you,in hinsight, however I think his first thought was to leave.