WORST DATE IN AMERICA FINALIST: Hats Off
I had recently separated from my husband. I was a little nervous about being single again, but ready to take a shot at dating. I was hanging out with some friends on the Riverwalk and thought how cool it was that we got this really cute flirty waiter. He asked for my number and we set up a date.
We went out and were having a pretty good time and I thought he was very gentlemanly, always going to the bar to get our drinks, “so I wouldn’t have to wait.” He told me he was an ex-Green Beret and currently a student, not making much money, which is why he didn’t have a car and why I’d had to pick him up. All evening I’d noticed the bartenders kept looking at us, and as we were leaving my date said he was going to the restroom. I was waiting by the bar and one of the bartenders walked over and told me that my date had been ordering virgin drinks all night and that I should “watch out for him.”
That made me nervous and I asked my date about it. He said the truth was he’d had to stop drinking because he was an alcoholic and had actually lost his license, and that maybe I’d heard about him on the news? He’d been on a wild car chase with the police, hovering helicopters, the whole nine yards, and then totaled his car and ended up in the hospital. He was laughing the whole time he told the story like it was one of the highlights of his life. I was more than ready to go at that point and took him back to his apartment. He asked me to come up and I really didn’t want to, but didn’t know how to say no. I thought I’d just go up for a bit to be polite and then I’d leave.
When we walked in he excused himself to go to the bathroom. When he came out he was completely naked except for his old Green Beret hat, black socks and a rifle. He then started doing rifle drills and pushups, all the while singing little military ditties. With a huge hard-on. I just wanted to get the hell out of there! Then he told me he has to pee but doesn’t know how he’ll manage with a hard-on and asked if I would help him. I said, “Well, I’ll try…” But when he turned his back I ran out!
He ran after me, nude and yelling my name, which caused some of his neighbors to come out to see what was going on. When I got home, he’d left me several messages saying that I had no business going out with anyone as I “clearly wasn’t ready for civilian life.” I never did talk to him again and it took a while before I even wanted to go on another date.
