Digits Dance

I was at a bar dancing with a good friend when these two guys came up and started dancing with us. I was pretty drunk and ended up making out with one of them and giving him my number. I didn’t think twice about giving out the number especially as I figured he wouldn’t call anyway. The next day he called and I didn’t answer because I really wasn’t interested. A few hours later he texted me letting me know he called. I texted back and gave some stupid reason as to why I didn’t call him back.

A few days later, he texts me again saying that it’s his birthday and he really wanted to take me out sometime. I told him I wasn’t really wanting to date. He begged for a casual meeting. I knew he lived in the same town that I go to school to, about half an hour from where I live. I had to go to class the next morning to turn in a paper and that was it so I told him I’d meet him for coffee after I finished this errand.

So there I was waiting in Starbucks for this guy and he’s 15 minutes late when I decided to text him to find out where he is. He immediately calls me and says he’s so sorry, he overslept. I told him it was fine, I didn’t really care. He then asks me if I can come and pick him up. Realizing that he doesn’t have a car, I tell him no, I’m not going to pick him up. He then asks if we can reschedule. I told him I wasn’t interested and left to go back home.

Once I return home, I saw that I had four text messages from him saying things like:

“Oh, I’m punishing myself by walking in the cold to Starbucks. Please come meet me!”

“Shit, I fell on ice and now my elbow really hurts!”

To each text, I replied: “I’m sorry. I’m at home and not interested in a date.”

He then called me and I didn’t answer. I got several more texts that day telling me how amazing I was and that he really wanted to get to know me better. After not getting any further replies, he finally got the hint.

March 9th, 2010 in Just Plain Pathetic, One-Night Mess | tags: Drunk Make Out Session, Texting Too Much

Comments (23)

rawrMarch 9th, 2010 at 7:20 am

Wow, that’s just kind of… pathetic. Sounds like this dude needs to learn how to interact with people he’s interested in (Men? Women?) a lot better. The real question is whether or not he considers himself to be a Nice Guy.

gregMarch 9th, 2010 at 9:05 am

YEAH!!!! Finally a lady who doesn’t say, “so I went back to meet him” or “so I went to pick him up” Thank you thank you thank you, Not only do you sound really independent (an awesome trait) but you also had no need to give him a pity date, smart, independent, decisive lady. You my friend will never be writing to a Dear Amy advice column. Be well, take care, you have made my week.

mereeMarch 9th, 2010 at 9:20 am

Hear hear Greg! I agree totally!

karenMarch 9th, 2010 at 10:39 am

2nded.

CatMarch 9th, 2010 at 11:32 am

Maybe it’s just me, but I thought she sounded kind of bitchy. I mean, what was so wrong with the guy? Obviously the whole no car thing is a red flag, but not if you’re in a city. Next time do yourself a favor and just stick to your guns and don’t go from the start. And for that matter, don’t make out with the dude and give him your number – obviously that’s going to give signals you don’t want to give.

AndyMarch 9th, 2010 at 12:00 pm

Kinda feel bad for the guy. Maybe not the most put together person in the world but how often do women complain about guys who ask for their number and then don’t call. This guy hooks up with you, ask for your number and then he calls. What did you expect? Isn’t that what women want? If you didnt want him to get into touch with you maybe you shouldn’t have given him your number or better yet maybe you shouldnt have gven him your tongue.

AndrewMarch 9th, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Truth, Greg. Major truth.

And I kind of feel bad for him too, Andy. But at least she realized later that she wasn’t remotely interested & stuck to her guns once she was going to be put-out.

MeshellMarch 9th, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Andy, are you really saying that she led him on by drunkenly providing her number and tongue? Oh shoot, she must be a slut too.

OP was a smart girl for sending him clear messages that she was not interested (well, except for the the “not answering” part).

AndyMarch 9th, 2010 at 3:40 pm

Meshell, I would say hooking up with someone and giving them your phone number is a real sign of interest. Led him on, yeah…I’ll say yes to that. Are we saying that becasue she was drunk that makes anything she does ok?

...March 9th, 2010 at 4:12 pm

OP is a bitch who leads guys on, and the story is stupid. You make out with a guy, give him your number, and he’s supposed to think you’re NOT interested? WTF.

ChelseaMarch 9th, 2010 at 4:34 pm

No way. She tried to give him a chance and he basically stood her up. I would have done the same thing, he blew it. Good job girl!

...March 9th, 2010 at 6:04 pm

You shouldn’t have led him on. If you didn’t want to send a signal that you liked him, perhaps you shouldn’t have let him put his tongue down your throat, or gave him your number. I’m guess you made the poor sap pay for drinks too.

Movies and TV shows make men believe that women want to be chased, you can’t fault him for finding you attractive and trying to make it work. However I can find fault in how you treated him. Rejecting him for the lack of a car despite him willing to walk through a blizzard for you. I’m guessing that if you were the girl in “Say Anything” you would have called the cops on John Cussack.

bamffMarch 9th, 2010 at 7:10 pm

Um, she planned to meet him, he overslept. If he were that interested, he would have made more of an effort. (I can’t imagine him being able to sleep after all the chasing he did to get her to agree).

If he didn’t have a car, he needed to plan for getting to the meeting place, really. If she had gone to get him, everyone would be all over her for doing so.

LMarch 9th, 2010 at 8:57 pm

Lots of crossed signals here: Kissing + giving out phone number = I’m not interested (???)
Texting + begging for date = I’m very interested and socially inept
Meeting for coffee while not interested = pity date
Not showing up for *I’m very interested* coffee date = lame
Continuing to pursue *not interested date* = desperately hopeful or unrealistic
Texting “I’m at home and I’m not interested” = honest
Seems like answering the first phone call would have saved everybody lots of time, etc.

YGMarch 9th, 2010 at 11:23 pm

“I didn’t think twice about giving out the number especially as I figured he wouldn’t call anyway. The next day he called and I didn’t answer because I really wasn’t interested.”

Erm…hello?? That’s pretty twisted right there. Plus you were drunk at the time. Yes, a fine model of discretion and obviously following a well-adjusted moral compass. Stop trying to be so blase about life.

I’d say the fact you two didn’t hook up after all (not saying he wasn’t rather pathetic) was probably of benefit to both sides.

kismymangoMarch 10th, 2010 at 1:51 pm

I love how stupidly hypocritical people are. If this story were from a guy, people would be going “dude! you dodged a bullet there!”. But, since it’s from a woman, it’s all “you shouldn’t have led him on” and “oh the poor, poor sleep boy!”

Screw that. Good on you, OP for not falling for this sexist shaming shit.

zomboidMarch 11th, 2010 at 9:05 am

nicely said, kissmymango. there’s always such a vibe of frustrated involuntary celibacy from the people who get angry at the OPs here.

SikaMarch 11th, 2010 at 10:59 pm

Holy crap! What do you people want!?

This is why girls are too nice and polite to stand up for themselves. When they do, people call them bitchy! We just can’t win can we? No one nags the men for ignoring clingy desperate chicks until they go away. How can be judge the OP for doing that?

She told him she was not interested in dating, but gave him a chance because it was convenient. Then…he blew that chance! She told him again that she was not interested. Then he went psycho desperate on her (trust me, if a girl texted about walking to see a guy in a blizzard, you would be calling her a desperate psycho). And she cut ties with that desperate psycho. FIN!

p.s. people who passive aggressively avoid awkward phone calls bug me too, but it has nothing to do with our judgment of her date.

...March 14th, 2010 at 11:13 pm

First of all, it isn’t sexist. A guy would most likely forgive the 15 minutes late thing and the lack of a car, I know I would.

She could have avoided a lot of this if she…
didn’t hook up with him
–or– didn’t give him her number
–or– been straightforward about not wanting to get together
… however she didn’t. She led him on and it was only when he said that he didn’t have a car that she felt it necessary to be honest with him.

DirkMarch 15th, 2010 at 9:36 am

“Sexist shaming shit”? Isn’t that what sites like this, datewrecks, psychotic letters, etc. are generally about, except in the other direction?

CamshaMarch 16th, 2010 at 11:36 pm

Can relate to OP – been there, done that. Given out a phone number accidentally, or with the intent of just making a new friend. She did exactly what I would – arrange a meeting at a convenient location and don’t do anything that puts you out of your way. Also – wtf with asking for a lift to the location where she’s already AT? It’s not the lack of car, it’s the lack of dignity – how can you DO that???

AshleyApril 2nd, 2010 at 9:40 am

Saying “I was drunk and made out with him” isn’t any excuse to anything. It means you can’t hold your liquor and probably shouldn’t drink so much. I have been drunk plenty of time and never made out with a total stranger.

You made out with him, gave him your number, and then seem annoyed he called you to get in contact.

It seems like this guy dodged a bullet. Next time, show a little class and maybe you will meet a classy guy. Keep acting the way you do and you deserve to attract guys like this.