My Very Worst Set-Up Date

A few months after moving to a new city, a friend wanted me to meet her roommate who was newly-single and new to the city as well. Hearing this and knowing how badly “matchmaker” situations have gone for friends, I politely declined.

However, after several more requests and assurances that this girl was “perfect for me,” I finally accepted, but it was agreed that I’d have to see her Facebook page before any plans were made. So I did, and she was cute, active and an old social chair for her sorority. She seemed OK on paper.

We were then introduced at a dinner party for friends, and things went really well. She was, in fact, really cute, into fitness and very conversational. We swapped numbers and off I went feeling pretty good about matchmaking.

That morning, I woke up to my phone vibrating. I reached over and looked only to find that I had three texts and two missed calls. The texts started off asking if I still wanted to make plans? Did I still want to talk? Why was I avoiding her? I didn’t even check the voicemails.

A few hours later, I talked myself into chalking it up to nervousness since she seemed normal in person and so I sent a quick a “let’s get coffee Thursday” message and then went back to work.

Finally the big day came, and since I was coming from the office, I didn’t have time to change and showed up in coat and tie. She seemed to like it though, and made several joking comments about how lucky she was to be my date.

“Cool, I like your wit,” I said and quickly played the comments off.

But they didn’t stop there.

Forty minutes, eighteen or so “I’m so lucky!” comments and two life stories later, she stopped mid-conversation and announced that she had a gift for me. Then, while telling me how she wasn’t sure at first but after getting to know me better, now she was absolutely sure, she handed me a large gift-wrapped box.

When I declined because it was the first date, she said “Oh! Please open it!”

So, not wanting to be rude, I did and surprisingly, inside was a really nice sweater from J. Crew. Very confused, I looked up at her and she almost whispered, “Do…do you like it?”

“Yeah, I love it,” I said.

Then out came the bombshell.

“Good! Because I can’t have my future husband getting cold outside!” she said. “I would have totally preferred the blue on you, but they were out so I picked green instead!”

I politely declined and didn’t stick around to ask her for the matching pants.