An Indecent Proposal

should have run.

Why oh why do people lie about their age and weight? WWWHHHHHHYYY.

And I don’t think he was calling you a whore, but I see how you might construe it that way.

So uh….was Vancouver nice?

(kidding kidding!!)

Wut – He wasn’t calling her a whore, but so often people miss the implications of what they are saying. Imagine telling a woman of color how light and straight her hair is. You might think you are paying her a compliment, but in reality you are (possibly) telling her “Nice job at fitting in on being white.” Not all women of color will take it that way, but those that do have every right to feel offended.

Just because an insult wasn’t purposeful doesn’t mean the implications don’t ring out.

Besides, I felt it was a witty way to finish the short

Meshell– If a “woman of color” has light, straight hair it would be the result of either: A) straightening and dyeing— in which case I don’t understand why she’d be offended by such a comment (if one takes great pains to achieve an effect, why get rankled when it’s noticed & commented upon? ) or B) a natural phenomenon so unusual that people feel compelled to marvel (akin to…say… an Asian person with blue eyes). I don’t perceive any implied-message about “fitting in”, but rather innocent astonishment at an unusual set of genetic traits. I don’t understand your comment, in other words. (Are YOU by any chance a woman-of-color, with light & straight hair? Your comment has chip-on-shoulder paranoia written all over it.)

But, back to the date: he wasn’t necessarily implying that she was a whore, true. Maybe he was just dense & thought the only thing holding her back from saying “yes” was a limited budget.

lisa – you seem to be really upset by meshell’s example … as if you’re the one with the chip on the shoulder …

Lisa — And your comment has white-privilege ignorance written all over it.

Sarah– I took pains to to explain why I didn’t understand Meshell’s comment. If you think I’ve overlooked some pertinent point please elaborate, instead of responding with the equivalent of “No…YOU are!”. PC labels are kinda meaningless by themselves– enlighten me.

Yeah, I to wonder what Lisa said wrong or did not explain well? I was confused by the comment as well. Do I have to say I’m not white to not get a lecture? I consider myself beige…

Lisa – Why would she want to chemically alter her hair? Could it be social conditioning that tells her that her hair looks best when it is that way? Much like the social conditioning that young women receive to think that thin is the only way to be considered xyz. The subtleties of just beauty and race are very grey, and many times people are offended to know that their innocent comment meant to compliment was actually another peg of unintended racism. It’s also an intrusion. “Well, I can tell her that her hair is beautiful and straight, she shouldn’t get upset because it’s a compliment!” You are forcing your belief structure of what is beauty and isn’t upon the listener.

Just imagine for a moment if black was the new white, and women were judged on how thick and full their lips were (versus thin), their plump thighs and buttocks (versus flat, thin thighs and bum), the wavy hair that can hold any form (versus the limp, stringy hair that lays flat and cannot hold shape). That’s just beauty standards.

I am also female, a mutt-white with slightly wavy hair, and have taken pains to learn what white-privilege is to me and others. I am privileged simply because of my color. I am not an evil person because of it either. It’s just a state of being due to history. The only way to change it is through your perception. Just a few more centuries, and then we will all accept each other as we are! XD

Vancouver?! Really?! Heeeey Big Spender!

“Why would she want to chemically alter her hair? Could it be social conditioning that tells her that her hair looks best when it is that way?”

Oh, please– the only “social conditioning” that applies to hair-dos (or, pretty much anything) is FASHION– what’s “in” or what’s “out”. It’s a frivolous issue that you’re pretending has weighty racial implications. Natural “afro” hair has been embraced, considered beautiful, and even mimicked by stringy-haired Caucasians before you were probably even born (assuming you’re younger than 40, that is). “Corn rows” and other styles traditionally worn by “women of color” were later embraced in the 1980′s, as you’ll recall if you’re older than 30.

And, I have no doubt this will happen again in the near future, when the cycle of fashion repeats itself, which is ALL fashion ever does.

“Just imagine for a moment if black was the new white, and women were judged on how thick and full their lips were (versus thin)…”

C’mon… ARE YOU KIDDING? I needn’t ‘imagine’ this since lip augmentation has been the rage for close to a decade now. Should I shed a tear for thin-lipped women who have been “socially conditioned” to crave full lips? The only victimhood here is that of the fashion-victim.

Your thesis is approximately fifty years out of date, brave crusader. Lay off the out-of-date sociology text books.

Bravo, Lisa. Apparently Meshell has drunk too much of the kool-aid and is vomiting it into her comments.

I dont understand why people feel compelled to lie about stuff like that. It’s just pure ego, really. I’ll admit it, im in my 20′s, somewhat thinning hair, and paunchy. It doesnt change my personality or the fact that I at least have a handsome face. The pure arrogance some people have to the point of self delusion is baffling.

lol at the hair comments: this is why guys don’t compliment us…

hahaha I know I’m like a YEAR late here but I just found this site reading the comments to alot of these dates is downright depressing… I think the point is more to coo in sympathy for the OP and sympathize where possible *coo coo* hahahaha