What A Show!

You wanted to ditch him (as suggested by your annoyance that he decided to come to your friend’s party) and when you finally did get rid of him, you were annoyed that he left? This is the lamest worst date yet.

Don’t chug the beer, for chrissakes. Just tell him, no, I want to go now, and leave. Jesus.

I agree with Liesel…Worst one yet.

You seriously chugged the beer? Ugh.

Your “plans that you couldn’t back out” of was a party? Who can’t back out of a party?

Why the fuck did you drink the beer? Just pour it into the sink and leave. Why did you go to his apartment? If he handed you ketamine and said that we would just stay until the ketamine was gone would you have done that, too?

Yes, chugging of alcohol is usually the best defense against someone making the moves on you.

I am never one to defend the guy if he’s rude, inconsiderate, etc. However in this case I will say he treated you this way because you LET him, you changed your plans 3x for him, even the plans that “could NOT be changed” so this one’s on you, sorry.

I really don’t understand why on earth you were so adamant that he protect you from all the nasty people on campus at night, yet you didn’t want him to be anywhere near you. Just buy some freaking mace and stop whining.

Erin, that’s some extra special rape apologetics! Silly no-mace-having girls! Getting themselves raped all the time. Don’t they know mace is a magical cure all that makes all the bad people disapear?!

Stupidest comment ever. Buy some freaking brains and stop whining.

Umm….what was so “rape apologetic” about that? OP’s reasoning is pretty illogical; one can point that out and not be aligned with felons.

Seriously. She was in such a feckin’ hurry to get away from this guy and go to the party, but she complains that he left her there when she didn’t want him there in the first place? Have a friend walk you home, call a cab, stop being such a whiny little princess.

You had a creepy guy who was trying to get with you walk you home to avoid…..?

Erinsamoron: Women shouldn’t feel the need to carry mace, but we should feel the need to have a man around at all times?

That whiny bit of martyrdom about having to walk alone on campus at night bugged me too.

Someone else comments on it, and they’re called a “rape apologist”?!?

The funny thing is, I suspect that “Erinsamoron” considers herself a feminist (WHO but a card-carrying-Feminist would use such bombastic terminology?)

Sister, in MY day ‘Feminism’ meant taking care of yourself and not being helpless. It’s apparently eroded into meaningless slogans about victimhood.

Victimhood and entitlement…I’ve had quite enough of each, thanks.

I agree…worrying about the dangers of a cross-campus walk at night, yet there you were in an empty apartment chugging a substance that impairs reaction time and judgment with a guy that had, so far, shown unpredictable behaviour.

His actions were poor. Your choices, however, were worse. I used to work campus security at night. We walked people home all the time or drove them in a police car, and this was a pretty small campus. Please value your time on this planet a little more and apply some basic common sense..or did that get shunted aside during the last election too??

“some basic common sense..or did that get shunted aside during the last election too??”
You’re giving rent-a-cops a bad name.

Erinsamoron sure did jump to the extreme. I wonder why if anyone try’s to educate women about how to keep themselves safe from any attack, they are yelled at for siding with the rapist? I have never been raped thank god. Sometimes you are a random girl they grab. And sometimes you are the girl walking alone, very drunk, no mace….Still not your fault but it didn’t stop you from being attacked. Use your head! Try not to be a victim and the chances you will be one go down! I’m sure someone will still say I side with the rapist…Whatever.

MMMichelle– radical feminists contend that a woman should be able to walk into a biker bar nude and not be molested, a complete denial that actions have consequences. All those who disagree are “rape apologists”.

“a woman should be able to walk into a biker bar nude and not be molested”

Sorry, dude, but no one should ever fucking be molested.

I know that’s not what you meant. I know you meant, “No, people should never be molested, but sometimes precautions can be taken to prevent the outcome. Regardless, no one is ever responsible for his/her molestation or rape.”

But that’s not what you said.

You’re right—I didn’t say that no one is ever responsible for their molestation or rape.

Is there any subject quite so murky as what constitutes “consent” between adults, when by legal definition, any person incapacitated by drugs or alcohol is incapable of consent? Are all sexual relations which take place under the influence of drugs and alcohol “sexual assault”? No? Yes? Maybe? Sometimes?

(And, what’s the definition of “incapacitated” anyhow?)

It seems wildly contradictory to claim simultaneously:

A) voluntary behavior (consumption of drugs or alcohol) negates an individual’s ability to give consent

B) voluntary abnegation of one’s ability to give consent ain’t the responsibility of the individual

I can think of countless scenarios involving the above wherein the men having sex with ‘incapacitated’ women would be guilty of what I’d deem rape & we can all righteously maintain that “rape could be avoided if only rapists didn’t rape”.

I can also think of countless scenarios wherein men having sex with “incapacitated” females would be quite blameless, BUT the woman might in retrospect deem with distress– either mild or profound.

With so much ambiguity, it seems coy (and, dismissive of the autonomy of women) to pretend that women have zero responsibility in regard to their own behavior vis-à-vis the possible consequences.

And… don’t call me “dude”.

Ignoring the argument going on above, next time don’t go to the drunk guy’s house. And definitely don’t want to ditch them somewhere but not have a ride while being there since they might get the hint and strand you.

@ Lisa – never seen the murky logistics of what constitutes “consent” so clearly set out – nice one. I agree with you that no woman EVER deserves to be raped or assaulted, but that women have a measure of responsibility for making sure they don’t put themselves in harm’s way, and I have no idea how to reconcile these two ideas. Having said all that, I am a self-declared feminist in a part of the world where “feminist” tends to be equated with “bitter, man-hating lesbian” (I am none of these things) and I still tend to get outraged at what so-called “feminists” consider logical. I have a friend who was told by a group of radical feminists that it was her fault she was raped because she wore eyeliner. Seriously???!