The Date From Hell

I just can’t understand people that turn up seriously late for dates. I mean, 10 minutes late would be understandable (public transport and all that), but 50 minutes is just crazy.

Food poisoning and dates never seem to go well together. Ever.

I’m not sure food poisoning can strike within 10 minutes of eating the food, can it?

Believe me, it can hit in 15 or 20 minutes. I got it once at a Mexican restaurant and sheesh! Talk about Montezuma’s revenge!

Food poisoning doesn’t happen instantly like that. Your shits were not sushi-related, sorry.

Food poisoning can happen pretty fast, the bewildering part is where you don’t go to the toilet O_o
Seemed like the perfect excuse to leave if you ask me.

I’m almost finished, c’mon tell me more about the shitty underwear.

It’s not exactly like he could help his boner. The only problem I have with that is that he didn’t seem to try to hide it. Come on, buddy. We’ve all been there. Get creative!

Though it seems like he might not have been firing on all cylinders…

“…the piece de resistance was revealed. He had popped a chub. ”

May be he somehow (by psychic means?) came to know that you were wearing new panties, which filled him with anticipation!-;)

Poor guy being blamed for so much, kinda feel sorry for him. He was very late yes, but YOU stayed. He doesn’t owe you an apology for knowing the chef, or your food poising, and no, he is not required to compliment you. What did you do to make the date fun? Why is it all on him?

I didn’t get the last bit, what are “pooped a chub” and “sporting a woody?”… you know what, don’t answer that, the OP just annoyed me with her/ his complaining, I won’t even bother googling it.

As has been said before, your runs were not sushi related: food poisoning has a longer period before symptoms than 15 minutes. Even vomitting would have required more duodenal epithelial damage to be triggered than would happen in 15 minutes unless you were drinking drano.

Also as has already been said, men get erections sometimes for no real reason. Obviously from the way you write you’re not such a prize yourself, so I suspect if there was anything causing his erection it was his love of sushi. At least women don’t have to worry about clitoral engorgement causing a noticeable bump in their skirts (unless they are members of the form east german olympic team).

Erection is the function of the activation of the parasympathetic component of the visceral motor nervous system (Sorry for throwing these terms at you, folks, but I happen to teach anatomy for a living. If there is somebody here who took an anatomy class, s/he will understand what they mean). Long story short, the visceral motor nervous system is autonomous, that is, when and how it works is not under voluntary control. Food digestion process also requires the action of the parasympathetic nervous system. Therefore, Sooky’s comment makes anatomical sense – the only plausible reason for the poor guy’s erection, based on the OP’s description of the events, was his enjoyment of the food.

P.S. Any male who has ever experienced the so-called “morning wood” after a sound night’s sleep will understand that erection can occur for completely non-sexual reason. When we sleep, the parasympathetic nervous system becomes active, and erection is only a by-product of this system.

yes, and apparently men get about 8 erections a night on average!
thanks mr science Lol!
as for the food poisoning….maybe sushi hits you faster. I once got FP from shrimp toast and felt it as soon as I left the restaurant.

Erm…you can indeed get sick from something you’ve eaten that fast. I did, in a Chinese restaurant. It wasn’t technically “food poisoning” but it was food with poison in it. Apparently a bitter, underpaid cook thought it would be hilarious to lace a random dish with something and see who it affected. Took exactly 30 minutes to hit, an entire night to suffer through, and a good night’s rest. Was on the news and everything.

So yeah, it’s entirely possible.

I can’t tell if the OP and this guy agreed to meet 45 minutes before the movie started, or if the OP just figured that it was common knowledge that you have to show up that early. 50 minutes late for a date is ridiculous, but if the plan was just to meet for the 7:00 movie, then he really was only 5 minutes late. I’ve been to a few of those dinner/movie places, and it’s never occurred to me to show up any earlier than I would for a regular cinema. Maybe the dinner/movie theaters in my city are different or something.

At any rate, the guy doesn’t sound like a douche. It sounds like the OP wasn’t attracted to him and she obviously had a bad time, but that doesn’t make the guy a douche.

Just to join in the food poisoning debate. There are many different types of food poisoning however the one with the lowest incubation period is 1 hour, called Bacillus cereus. This particular type of food poisoning is caused by: cereal products, rice, spices, dried foods, milk and dairy products, soil dust and sediments.

Symptoms can include vomitting and Diarrhoea

This can be caused by Rice such as in sushi being contaminated. Therefore it is entirely possible the OP was a victim of food poisoning. HOWEVER it is rare that it will incubate in just 15 mins generally 1 hour is considered the shortest amount of time this form usually takes up to 5-8 hours.

Someone putting Poison in your food is a completely DIFFERENT matter and 100 % unethical this of course would be faster acting depending on the amount of poison and the type. I’m really sorry to hear that some ass did that to you YGjune.

Personally I was annoyed by the OP’s attitude as well. Okay he doesn’t exactly sound like a prize but they didn’t sound like they were really prepared to give him a chance anyways.
So I doubt anything he did on the date would have met with her approval.

Yeah, I have to agree with the majority here. I doubt I would have waited 50 minutes for my date to show up. I’ve gotten stood up before and the OP really could have handled themselves better. Usually food poisoning hits me within 8 hours, sometimes 12 or so, but it’s vicious when it does. It’s possible it was from something else they ate that day or nerves/anger contributed to it in some way. I agree with just about everything Amaya said up there.

Someone poisoning food is a completely different matter than ‘food poisoning’. Actual poison affects your system in an entirely different way than any of the bacteria that would cause ‘food poisoning’ – there are plenty of poisons that can hit you quickly, but bacterial contamination has an incubating period – symptoms require a buildup of bacteria that just can’t occur in five minutes.

The only reprehensible thing I can see that this date did was to be late, if he was at all. If someone invited me to a movie at 8pm, I would be there are 7:40-7:50, unless it was explicitly stated that the show would sell out/the tables would fill up/ or there was some other legitimate reason to arrive an hour early. I don’t know how or if this was arranged by the OP and the date, so I can’t reach any conclusions.

Everything else was on the OP – you got sick, why didn’t you say something? How would he know if you didn’t say anything? Of course he continued to talk – he was on a date, you probably weren’t doing much speaking, and he had no reason to know he was supposed to shut up and ask if you were okay. All you needed to say is “I’m sorry, but I’m feeling VERY ill all of a sudden, could we please settle up as I need to go home immediately.” The hell was of your own making, and not his fault.

Ok, so how many people googled “how long does it take to get food poisoning” after reading this?

I also was a little confused on the arrived 45 min early and then waited 50 min for the date -but then again I’ve never heard of a restaurant/movie theater. They don’t have those kinds of places here in the sticks.

@tronner: I was thinking the same thing, about the Googling & whatnot.

Yes, enjoyment of the food could have caused his erection for the reasons explained by the anatomist above, but it could have also been because the OP was attractive. Just because she had a horrible time because the guy was rude, dishonest, oblivious, and gross doesn’t mean that she’s unattractive. I don’t know about anyone else, but I find it really tiring hearing everyone disparaging the OP’s for not being ok with their date’s awful behavior. They can critique what they want – this is supposed to be a casual web site where they talk about what a terrible time they had.

If you are rude (not apologizing for being late) and dishonest (lying about yourself in your profile), then by common definition, you are a douchebag (aka, the date in this story). And no, she is not a bad person for not wanting to give this guy a chance – being an hour late and continuously changing your story about why you’re being late is an automatic deal-breaker for anyone who appreciates respect, honesty, and punctuality.

Hey Xandraya we agree with you! We thought the guy being late, taking her to a dive, food poisoning, erection and ruining new panties qualified as a Very Worst Date. Even if the food poisoning wasn’t from this sushi restaurant don’t you think getting sick on a date makes it pretty bad?

I really don’t get how his erection offends you? Do you go around rubbing ice on your nipples to “offend” people you don’t like?

And really, soft hands? I’m with you on the lying about himself on the profile, but if you’re going to pick apart someone’s hands for crying out loud, you might be a tad bit picky.

So I’m the girl that went on the date. Just to let you all know, we were SUPPOSED to meet one another there at 6:15 for a 7:00 movie. So I was there on time and he was far from on time. Furthermore, it wasn’t like I wasn’t giving him chances. I was quite patient during all his excuses for being late and very nice to him. Heck, when we met I hardly fussed at him for being so late and I was quite excited to try the sushi place.

I do understand that the erection thing can’t be helped so much, but it was just the icing on the cake of horrible. Though some of you may take issue at this, I consider myself a valuable person and frankly I think I deserve better than someone who is there almost an hour late, gives ten different excuses for being late, takes me to a creepy dive and lies about their appearance. Some of ya’ll think that’s self centered or that I’m “no prize” but I feel it’s better to be alone than with someone that doesn’t even bother to show up on time. And puh-lease, if you are interested in the person you move heaven and hell to show up on time. If I had been closer to home I would have left after 20 minutes, but I wasn’t so I thought it best to wait it out.

To Thandi,
What did I do to make it fun? What was I supposed to do, wear a party hat? I drove an hour and a half to meet him so he was sure as hell going to at least pay for dinner. Every date that I’ve been on when out of town has the same rules: They drive to you, you pay or you drive and they pay.

I agree that the date was bad. But the food poisoning obviously wasn’t the guy’s fault, erections are involuntary, and the OP probably wouldn’t have ruined her panties if she’d gone to the bathroom instead of sitting at the table, holding it in. I did have a question about the lateness because, like I said, it wouldn’t occur to me to show up 45 minutes early to a movie. I’m not blaming the OP or belittling her or anything; I just don’t think the guy did anything that warrants calling him a douche.

About this “food poisoning” business: it is possible that her illness was due to some sort of digestive intolerance she wasn’t aware of. I have pretty bad lactose intolerance, and there have been a few times the people at Starbucks have messed up and given me regular milk instead of lactose free, and the results are horrible cramps and diarrhea that hit me within 5 or 10 minutes and last for hours. So yeah, maybe she didn’t actually have food poisoning, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for the food to have made her sick.

Food poisoning or not, this story was seriously boring to read. Other than being late and in denial of his height, nothing was really his fault. And what the hell was with the comment about soft hands? I can only assume that meant he had a soft handshake.

Could the food poisoning actually have been caused by stress? I know sometimes when I get stressed out my stomach gets all wonky like I’ve eaten something bad.

This story reminds me of how people seem to be much more lax about being on time since cell phones were invented. In the old days, even if you were running late you’d haul your ass as fast as you could so not to keep the person waiting for you. Now it’s too easy to call someone and give them an update, which somehow winds up giving the caller “permission” to be late.

I’m not pointing fingers just at the date in this story, just making an observation that his behavior at the start of the date isn’t really unusual any more. Which I think is sad.

I agree with the “it wasn’t food poisoning” crowd. And the people who are insisting it was I think likely have done the same thing OP did, felt sick shortly after eating something iffy and assumed they were related.

I don’t get why OP is starting off with such a chip on her shoulder about having to drive a whole hour and a 1/2 to meet the guy. You were dating online, this is one of the risks you accept when you take part in that world: you may have to meet someone out of town and it may not be worth it in the end. No one guaranteed you the date would work out. If you felt the drive was excessive you should have declined.

I do agree that if you made the effort to drive, it is perfectly reasonable to expect the other party to pick up the tab for the activity, there has to be some kind of give and take.

@ Maggie

True, they do seem to make being on time less of a priority.

I also find being late and how rude it is to be very subjective. I am from a rural area and “on time” is typically about 1/2 an hour to a whole hour after the stated time. For me personally, 5 minutes late is early. Since moving to a larger urban area (which is still quite small but is large in comparison to my hometown) I have found people much less forgiving about lateness and though I try I still struggle with it. It is a hard habit to break after 20 some odd years.

Still, there was specific time specified for the date and there was a reason this time had to be chosen. In this situation his lateness was quite excessive, I don’t blame her for being pissed. One unpredictable incident, OK, but multiple texts with multiple excuses just says I have absolutely no motivation to make it there on time for you.

Well, to be fair, it COULD be a bad date without it being anybody’s fault. I mean, even dating a great guy, if you get the shits halfway through the date, that’s a bad date for me.

And really, whether people agree with it or not, it was still HER VWD. Websites like this are subjective & totally based on the experiences of the OP.

I hate people who don’t show up on time. It is very disrespectful, unless of course they got caught up in traffic or some kind of emergency. Sorry you had to wait that long!

Actually the trigger mechanism for arousal is slightly more complicated than alluded to above. Yes, it is caused by activity of the parasympathetic system but only after prior activity from the symathetic nervous system (read; get excited, then get relaxed). This is (a) why being nervous or tense can cause impotence (no parasympathetic activity), (b) why (amongst other reasons) alcohol causes impotence (no sympathetic activity) and (c) why a guy who was running late and then sat down to enjoy a relaxing meal might very easily get an involuntary erection.

Seems you pissed off a lot of people with soft hands? This guy sucks, and you got sick. What a horrible fucking date.

Thanks MMMichelle, looks like mostly everyone else thinks I’m a jerk for being grossed out by the erection and apparently it was also my fault for getting sick.

Nobody thinks it was your fault for getting sick. But it wasn’t the guy’s fault, either. I don’t see anyone saying this wasn’t a horrible date.

Sometimes these things start off bad and just get worse. I’m sure the gastrointestinal distress didn’t help, no matter the source. And just when you’re feeling unsteady, you see this guy popping a boner…blergh!

I agree with hellcat June–whether or not this-or-that was the guy’s fault, it all gets rolled into one experience that sounds like a “very worst date.”

I would hate to notice his erection in the midst of it too. In the context of a date it’s such a sexually loaded image that it’d be yecchy to me too. There are at least ways to *try* to be discreet!

Haha, okay, I just agree with hellcat. Didn’t notice that “June” was part of the date, not the poster’s name.

Andrew, it just being someone’s personal VWD doesn’t make it interesting. Clearly.

Xandraya – thank you. The pompous douches who rail against the OP are just pissed off because they are exactly like the guy in this bad date and don’t want to admit it.

I’m trying to figure out how MyVeryWorstDate was translated to TheBiggestAssholeThatIWentOnADateWithEver.

A date is an experience that takes in all subjects (guy late, trashy sushi hole, getting the shits, buying expensive panties that are ruined, a guy popping a bo-bo and not hiding it — it might be natural, but I don’t go around thrusting my hard nipples in my coworker’s faces, so why isn’t he being modest with his “nature”). The OP isn’t blaming the guy for the crappy date, she is expressing that the date was her worst. It’s a combination of events, and the OP was right in her assessment… that was a shitty way to spend an evening. Interesting or not, trying to argue that someone should have had a great time in such a situation is pointless and self-defeating.

Oh and have we considered how raw meats should be kept at sushi joints?

Calm down, chances are he only had an erection because he could smell your shitty panties from across the table.

So, the OP was late for the date, but when he was late, that was inexcusable. She also poops her pants. Sounds like we should have heard his side for a better story.