Eye of the Storm

Weirdo!!

That’s just sick. But good for you for giving it a shot?

ugh, what a creep!!! I generally feel that Undertakers and the like are really admirable for the job they do; even if it’s creepy somebody’s got to do it and death is part of everybody’s life. But for him to then talk about those people with such disrespect, THAT’s REALLY creepy!! Well done you for getting out of there quickly. Maybe he realised he shouldn’t be talking like that…

Eww! I understand there is a job for everyone, but have some tact! Most people don’t want to hear about cadavers.

My story appears!

It wasn’t the ideal job for a boyfriend in my book but I did try to have an open mind – he was nice, good looking, educated and well-spoken… and as several people said, it is a necessary part of our world. The line at the store after the hurricane was an hour long, so we chatted for awhile and he seemed normal. Our one date was pretty standard, dinner and a movie – he was very polite and while it wasn’t instant chemistry, it was pleasant enough that I’d have gone on a second date.

But I cannot tell you the horror when he started calling from the van. I get gallows humor and have laughed my way through the roughest times of life but this was horrible stuff. The comments were wretched, demeaning and far too much info for anyone to know.

I was really disturbed for awhile because I wanted to think of those in our community that died, being treated with respect and dignity as they move on out of this world. My granddad died a few years later and despite being five mins from that crematorium, I pitched a fit and demanded my mother call one in another city.

Did the drugstore run out of Ricola?

In the town my mother is from the owner of one of the local funeral homes (who happened to date my aunt during high school) won $10 million in the lotto about 10 years ago and runs the funeral home to this day.

Since my parents were originally from different towns (about 6 hours apart), all of my grandparents passed away by the time I graduated high school, and both my parents have siblings out of province who have passed away, our family has dealt with several different funeral homes and the entire staff at this one has been by far the most pleasant, accommodating, and compassionate we know of. I’ve always assumed that to do that kind of job (especially after becoming independently wealthy) there must be some kind of satisfaction derived from being able to help the bereaved during a difficult time.

I know that it must be difficult to deal with death constantly and that making light of it may help it from becoming too depressing, but this guy is taking it way too far. I really hope he is the exception and not the rule.

I want to be a medical examiner eventually and I’m paranoid that everyone I run into is going to assume I’m that guy. Or that I’m a necrophiliac. :/

I’m all for making jokes to help deal with certain situations, but you still have to keep people’s confidentiality, whether it’s a written rule or just out of courtesy. Plus, he should have a better idea of someone’s tolerance for those details before offering to tell you about prepping the body.
@rawr – I’ve met a few people in that sort of field who were very nice and normal… just don’t act like this guy and volunteer the graphic details to someone you’ve just met!

listen, someone has to do that job. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt too…after all, we’ve seen guys of ALL professions be just as creepy! and look at Six feet under…the two guys weren’t creeps!

I believe there’s actually a code of ethics for funeral directors and the like; if so, this guy was clearly violating it. Good for you for first deciding to shake off the potential creepy factor of his job, but also good that you recognized that his behavior was inappropriate.

Oh, and Frau Blucher, I LOVED Six Feet Under…but don’t you remember how creepy their apprentice guy was? Not Rico, I loved Rico…I’m talking about the guy who was played by Rainn Wilson (Dwight from The Office). He was only on for about a season.

If you talk to the folks that actually deal with the bodies, you’ll see their gallows humour is a defense mechanism and very necessary. It’s a mind set most people don’t get. You’ll also see it with people who do shock trauma…their lunch time conversations would be socially unacceptable most places!!

However, the professionalism comes when you keep it to yourself, in with your fellow workers. As a teacher, we’d make jokes about students and given them names and so on as a way of coping with an extremely tough job. But that’s where it ended…it never came out in the class room or to the parents (“Oh, so you’re the mom of the kid who’s so dumb his hair hurts…!” or “Hey, it’s Fat Loser Boy’s dad…I can see the resemblance! Good to meet ya!”).

For him to say that stuff to you was horrible and extremely disrespectful. It’s like working in the kitchen of a restaurant…knowing what goes on back there makes you certain you never want to patronize it again.

That guy was definitely breaking confidentiality. My dad is a Funeral Director & there are a lot of things he can’t say (I’m not interested so that’s good).

I forgot about that creepy apprentice…he was funny but not there for long. Was he the one who lived in their house for a while?
As for being a medical examiner, these days people think of it as super-glamourous. And it’s not ghoulish…you have to have medical training and go to med school, so it’s not like you’re just a weirdo doing it as a hobby. You’re a medical professional.

Oh, I know. So far, people have always said stuff like “Oh, a medical examiner? Not the career for me, but that’s pretty awesome!” or whatever. But for every choice you make in life, there’s that one person who has really fucked up, inaccurate ideas about it and will give you grief for it. And with a career dealing with dead people, the griefers can be fucking intense. I know they’re not the majority of people, but that thought is always in the back of my mind. :/

Frau – Yes, he was the one who lived in their house. He definitely wasn’t on very long.

rawr – I think that’s an awesome career choice, and anyone who gives you crap for it probably isn’t someone you want to be hanging out with anyway. Anyone who’s worth your time would make the effort to get to know you and at least let you dispel their preconceived notions about your career. I know that doesn’t mean it’s not irritating or even hurtful when they give you grief, but, like you said, people will give you grief for any career choice. If it’s what you really want, you’ll figure out a way to deal with them. =)

i would have loved to date him.

Wow, that is incredibly tacky.

I think stories from undertakers are incredibly interesting, but the ones I’ve spoken to have always talked about their customers and the families thereof respectfully. Discussing the intricacies of being a mortician and being respectful is not mutually exclusive.

Agreed totally with some of the previous comments. I have a high appreciation for gallows humor, my whole family does, but WOW this guy was totally out of line.