Nose Way
I don’t mind eccentric guys, but A was extreme.
I met him at a party, and while I wasn’t extremely attracted to him, after ignoring three emails I felt bad and agreed to lunch. He was an intelligent guy, but as he was 5’4″ and socially awkward, his brains were about all he had going for him. I realized that this was especially when his oddities came out.
He couldn’t sit still in his chair. He told me that the only things he’s willing to eat, ever, are pizza and ice cream. When I mentioned that I liked traditional Russian dance, he immediately got out of his chair and began to do the barynya in the middle of the restaurant. He told me all about his romantic adventures with a “furry,” much past the point of too much information. Also anything I said, he could relate back to the Holocaust. This made things tense throughout the whole conversation. What do you say when someone twists your innocent comment into a Holocaust reference?
The final straw came when he completely out of the blue said, “Did you know that rape is technically defined as penetration of any orifice without permission?” Before I could respond, he reached across the table, stuck his finger up my nose, and said, “I just raped you!”
Eccentricity is one thing, but the gleeful nose-rape is another. I got through the rest of the date and insisted I could get home by myself on the metro. Of course, afterwards, he wouldn’t stop texting me. I finally told him it wasn’t going to work out. He texted back that he understood, which made me think maybe I was not the first girl to feel this way!
