Office Space
One night, a coworker of mine showed up in my office and flirted with me until I was finished with my shift and I ended up agreeing to go on a date with him. A couple days later, he showed up in my office just as I was about to get out of work. He told me he spent the whole day in bed being sick, but came because he “needed” to go on this date with me (which was totally unplanned). I was a little thrown off guard but agreed to go out with him. He had to run up to his office to grab something so I told him I’d just meet him in the lobby after I closed up. As I was waiting, he proceeded to walk past me without even acknowledging my existence, since another coworker happened to be waiting there as well. Although I was a tad pissed, I tried to understand since gossip spreads quickly in a small office. It took 15 minutes worth of cryptic phone calls to find one another.
We went to his place and without consulting me he called up a Chinese place. He got “the usual,” which ended up to be nasty mock duck with onions and noodles, all of which I hate. The whole time we ate, he asked me a lot of serious questions for a first date. For example, he wanted to know if I saw myself living in the state for a really long time because he was not moving any time soon. Right after I answered that I didn’t really know he looked at me and said, “Well, we could always travel a lot.” I was a bit freaked out so I decided to go outside for a smoke to try to think of how to get out of the situation. He followed me out and explained that I should probably quit the habit since it’s been proven to make it harder for women to get pregnant. I smoked another one out of spite.
He brought me a bottle of wine, as I was about to try to get out of this situation and begged me to watch a movie with him while he let his stomach settle. Being the nice person I am I accepted. About five minutes into the previews the sickness came back. He left for 20 minutes and came back with a handful of antacids. Then he proceeded to lay his head on my lap, sleeping through the movie as I drank the bottle myself. When the movie was over he was super upset that he missed it and that I already wanted to smoke again. When I went back in from smoking and cursing the bus system, he had passed out hard. I had no choice but to sleep on the very uncomfortable leather couch.
It was one of the most awkward mornings ever and I still see him almost every day.
