I met this girl through the LGBT Org. so I thought she’d be ok. We lived in the same building so one evening I invited her up to watch a movie. I had music on when she arrived. I could tell by her expression that she didn’t really like the music so I offered to put something else on. She named some band that I’ve never heard of, The Flaming Vs, or something. I didn’t have any CDs by them so I put on something else I had, hoping she might like it.

We talked for a little while and finally I suggested we get to the movie. I discovered we obviously had different tastes in movies so I started one that I thought was harmless and funny. As the evening progressed, I realized that we just weren’t hitting it off and she definitely wasn’t my type. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I decided a real mood killer would be to talk about another girl I liked.

I really thought she’d leave once I started this but it had the opposite effect! OMG, all of a sudden she just lunged at me, grabbing me and kissing me with her tongue down my throat! I still really didn’t want to hurt her feelings and when she took my blouse off, I let her. BUT when she started to touch me “down there”, I’d had enough! Her hands and breath smelled like a stinky ole ashtray. YUCK!!!! I jumped up and put some distance between us really quick….. I pretended to cry so she would leave me alone. It worked and she kept her distance. I still hadn’t put my blouse back on because she was sitting on it the whole time!

I continued to talk about other girls and my new found “love” of a girl in America, hoping she’d get the message but she just wouldn’t leave! I thought surely all of this talk would discourage her, she’d leave and I’d never hear from her again but NO! It didn’t quite work out that way. Finally I had to get some sleep so I crawled into bed, reminding her how late it was, telling her she could stay over if she wanted to. I really thought she’d leave since she only had to walk a flight of stairs to get to her own room. I was shocked when she climbed into bed with me! I was finally forced to tell her about the stench on her hands so that she would keep them to herself while I slept. Thank goodness, it worked..

The next morning, as we were leaving, I saw a friend and I stopped to talk. This date that wouldn’t leave actually leaned over to kiss me while I’m talking to my friend! I couldn’t believe it…… This had to be MVVWD ever!

Ok, all of that was pretty lame but that’s how it could have happened…..

It does sound like she was *totally* self-obsessed though.

And “Mean Girls” is my favorite movie. “It’s not my fault I have a heavy flow & a wide-set vagina.”

Not everyone hates dicks in the LGBT community. Not every lesbian hates dick. They do hate being generalized for really shitty puns. Imagine that. :/