BYOB Date
When I was in my early twenties, I was going through a dry spell and decided to try internet dating. I met a guy who had an awesome profile – all the same interests and the same sense of humor – and, after several emails back and forth, he offered to take me on a date to the state fair. Of course he was far shorter and less attractive than this profile let on, but I overlooked it considering we got along so well online. After we exchanged pleasantries, I noticed a horrible smell coming off of him. He showed up carrying the most disgusting backpack I’ve ever encountered. It absolutely reeked of cat piss and was covered in hair. The smell of ammonia was so strong it literally made my eyes water. I had to maintain a distance of at least five feet just to keep my composure. The backpack was full of beer he snuck into the fair since he was too broke to buy me beer from the stands. The beer also smelled like cat piss.
Although I wasn’t very attracted to him, we did have an OK time and he made me laugh. I decided to give him a second chance when he asked me out to dinner a week later (I offered to split the bill hoping he wouldn’t feel the need to bring the piss-soaked beer bag to save money). At dinner, we were having a pretty good time and he did not smell, thankfully. I was telling him a funny story about a weird scar I had that resulted from a childhood injury. Hoping he had a funny childhood story as well, I asked him, “Do you have any cool scars?” He immediately got very serious, let out a big sigh and slowly rolled up his shirt sleeve to reveal a huge, fresh-looking wound, a star carved into his upper arm! He looked at me intensely and said, “My girlfriend dumped me a couple months ago and I took it really hard.” Freaked out, I got the hell out of there as quickly as possible. Clearly the guy was a crazy bomb!
