The Guide

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Wow. Oblivious seems to run in his family…

This was a really good story. Thank you so much for sharing!

Hahaha.. see where being nice gets you, kids!?

Geez, OP, lighten up.

Besides the stalking, the profound creepiness, the complete lack of social skills, the age difference, the inability to take a hint, severe mood swings, the delusions, the lying, the supra-virginity (where one hasn’t even KISSED a girl before) the probable deficiency of personal hygiene and looks in general – what else bothered you about the boy?

You must be leaving out something – or there is something seriously wrong with YOU.

Sadly, this is often the case with exceptionally bright children who are not allowed the opportunity to develop social skills because they are skipped past their grade level. First of all your college should assign younger students to host high schoolers because they will relate better. Second, they were way out of line to release your private information and you should have threatened them with legal action. Finally, it is never a good idea to be friends with someone out of pity. That is not a genuine friendship.

Threating bodily harm might not have been a good idea, the little pervert might have liked it. Luckily things worked out

sounds like “My Very Worst Stalker”

Sounds like he learned his dating etiquette from the collected works of Quentin Tarantino.

I’m with Jeff on this one. You should have gone to the lady who gave out your information and told her “Thanks to you feeling sorry for that kid, I have a stalker now. There’s a reason you’re not supposed to give out that sort of information!” That lady is lucky the kid was just a creep, and not a serial killer/rapist.

Actually, I wonder if he was Aspie/Austism spectrum disorder? Sounds like there was a something else going on there, what with his lack of social awareness.

lol @JChief

and I agree it sounds like there is something else going on with this kid. If not autism, *something.*

And you crushed my dreams after that night…………

the story didn’t say it was a ‘lady’ who gave out the information…

as for asperger’s….over-the-top self-consciousness (or any self-consciousness) as at the beginning of the story makes that pretty unlikely, not every weirdo = asperger’s.

How could he be Valedictorian if he wasn’t old enough to drive? I was home schooled until my senior year (where I went to a small school & was…Valedictorian) so I don’t know how far in advance those things are announced.

Well, if he skipped a few grades that could explain it. NVM. I haven’t been comprehending well the past few days.

Hmm… there are two sides to every story. Seems kind of fishy that after he wrote to her, and cried, and begged that she would agree to hang out with him at her home. The OP did admit being naiive, and is probably too nice, but at some point you gotta draw the line. And why would she tell him he has to “express himself” when clearly he hadn’t had a problem doing so thus far. Am I alone on this one?

I almost can’t believe this is a real story, it’s too absurd lol.

I think there’s a difference between latching onto someone and expressing yourself. Clearly this kid had problems making friends and severe self-esteem issues, which would make it hard for him to develop socially. He probably was able to talk to people, but not in a way that he could open up and emotionally connect with anyone. She was trying to give him advice on how to make other friends. I have definitely been in that situation before, many times. Not all out stalking, but sometimes creepy behavior and this strange emotional latching on, where no matter what you say, the person doesn’t get it. People with poor social skills have a hard time understanding when they’re crossing a line, when they are making you uncomfortable, or letting go of someone they have idealized. It’s just the way it is. Sorry OP, that’s pretty intense.

Having autism/Asperger’s and being self-conscious are not mutually exclusive… Just throwing that out there…

Yeah, I agree with previous posts. I was completely with you (and I also would have threatened legal action to the staff who gave out your address), but you lost me when you agreed to hang out with him out of pity.

I have to say, this whole family reminds me of the Goldmans on Family Guy (all weird together).

My darling… my Asperger.

Sounds familiar. Not kidding. You show a guy a little kindness cuz you’re kind to everyone, he’s all over you like a crow smelling fresh meat. *eyeroll*

Thank you, Renee and Monique, for proving that no matter what the story is, someone will always find a way to blame the OP. Newsflash, guys, no one makes the right decision 100% of the time. Welcome to life.

A+!!!

I went through something very similar, but I was only a freshman in high school when it happened. A sophomore named Daniel started getting clingy because I was so nice for him; I felt bad because everyone picked on him. Even though I had a boyfriend (who lived out of town), he started to stalk me by following between my classes and waiting for me where he knew I’d be before and after school. After two months of my friends and I convincing him to leave me alone, he finally stopped. But a few years later after he had graduated, he stalked my MySpace until I deleted it. Then I ran into him just a little over two years ago at my college, and he automatically started acting creepy again and when I told him to go away, he yelled profanities at me from across the hall in front of tons of other students. A year ago, I started becoming friends with a girl online who had recently moved to my hometown, only to discover that she was Daniel’s current girlfriend. I got scared and warned her of Daniel, but of course, she freaked out on me and told me he was “nothing like how he was in high school” and that “he totally regrets all of it”. I just told her, “Whatever, I don’t care what you say. Just don’t EVER tell him you talked to me. Ever.” That was the last I ever heard from either of them. I hope I never have to run into him again (thankfully I moved to a new town and blocked him on Facebook, the only online profile I have). At first I thought it was weird that the OP wasn’t more cautious for a college senior, but then again, I experienced something like this way earlier than most people would have.

Holy crap, sorry for the tl;dr post guys!

the old story….the pathetic guy who glomms onto anyone who is NICE to him. I had a the good fortune to live with a roommate who had this poor, pathetic loser falling at her feet, then ASKED him to be her roommate. The poor shmuck thought this meant she was interested in him, except that when they moved in, she had a boyfriend who was coming over all the time. Guess who got to be the brunt of his anti social personality disorder? moi.

I completely buy this story… a friend of mine had almost the exact same thing happen to her… could have been almost word for word… but she very assertively told the guy to get away from her and got campus security involved. I feel bad for both my friend and the OP, they were just being nice and doing their jobs.

The lone guy in my first D&D group was like this. Smart, but socially moronic and CLINGY. Game was hosted in my residence hall (He lived across campus) and after game, unless we specifically told him no, like a dog, he’d follow me and my roommate up to our room to hang out. Until we started being forceful and downright mean about kicking him out, he’d linger until 3, 4am! And a few times, we went downstairs in the morning to find him sleeping in the lounge.

Hi! I’m the submitter.
I can assure you the story is true. I forgot to put in that he was the valedictorian of his *junior* class. Sorry about that! That’s why he couldn’t drive, see R-rated movies, etc.
Yes, I really was that freakin’ naïve. I think it didn’t help that because I had been bullied in high school, I cut him a lot more slack than he deserved.
I did threaten the school with legal action.
The irony here is that I fell for the exact same M.O.–the crying, the pleading–as the college staff! This *was* in the early 1990s, before stalking was really that much of a buzzword; that might have had something to do with it too.
But it still doesn’t excuse them.
As for “expressing himself”–he expressed his emotional states, true, but didn’t talk to people about his interests; about who he *was*, not just what he was feeling. *That’s* what I was trying to get across.

This was a typical case of Grace under pressure.

“I was home schooled…” This explains a great deal.

@Lizzie Meyers
I realize your comment was from a while ago, but whatev. Something struck me as I read your comment. This girl you talked to online defended her boyfriend by citing his specific feelings about a situation she did not witness herself. Did it ever occur to you that this “girl” was in fact Daniel trying to stalk you in a different way? The “I’m his girlfriend” thing could have been an attempt to instill jealousy in you. Just a thought!

“I call the college staff. How’d he get my full name and address? “Oh, he was so mournful, and so sincere-sounding, and he said he was your friend…I knew we weren’t *supposed* to give out your information, but he’s just a kid…”

This makes me so insanely angry. This could have put OP in serious danger.

Bad decisions make good stories!