Can’t Handle It

My Very Worst Date happened about two years ago. I met A through some mutual friends and we started hanging out. We made plans for me to come over to his house for dinner one Friday night after having hung out a couple of times. The day of the dinner, I got fired from my job. I felt terrible but decided to still go over to A’s house anyways.

When I got there, I quickly realized he had invited some of our mutual friends for dinner as well. I was upset, thinking it was just going to be dinner alone, but I let it slide, trying to have the rest of my day go better than the first part of it. Being people that I knew as well, I let him and everyone else know that I had lost my job. He didn’t console me or anything while everyone else was, but I chalked it up to him making everyone dinner. I had walked in and noticed two tables set up for only couples. but when it came time to eat, he sat us down at the only table that wasn’t for just two people. I was a little upset but again tried to make the best of it.

After dinner, he proceeded to get high while the rest of us decided to go downtown. I rode with him downtown – bad idea I know – but once we got there, he dissappeared. I didn’t see him the rest of the night. I ended up having to catch a ride from my friends so I could get back to my car. Ditched on a date on the same day I lost my job!

He called a week later to tell me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship, but I let it go to voicemail.

December 29th, 2011 in Gimme A Break, Just Plain Pathetic, Love in a Time of Recession, Problematic Point of No Return
Comments (14)
NattieDecember 29th, 2011 at 10:52 am

I don’t think he thought that you two were dating, or if he did he wanted to send the message that it was over.
Dodged a bullet though, that’s evident in the second last paragraph.

TitoDecember 29th, 2011 at 11:11 am

I swear this story was stolen from an old episode of the Khloe & Lamar show. Yawn

LalliDecember 29th, 2011 at 11:18 am

This sounds like the other side of one of those “I didn’t know it was a date!” stories.

blondieDecember 29th, 2011 at 1:07 pm

How many tables does one guy have in his apartment?

And ditto to Nattie and Lalli.

laurenDecember 29th, 2011 at 5:52 pm

I don’t think he would have rung her up to say he wasn’t ready for a relationship if he didn’t at least realise she was interested.

KaliDecember 29th, 2011 at 5:53 pm

Hate to break it to you, but you weren’t on a date.

DaniDecember 29th, 2011 at 7:58 pm

Pretty he was trying to convey the fact that you weren’t dating.

RavenDecember 29th, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Vague language can cause these types of problems. “Hanging out” – what is that? You can hang out with friends, a romantic interest – heck, you can hang out with your MOM – how does one know it’s a date?

Maybe something changed before the dinner happened but he didn’t know to tell her…so awkwardness ensued.

MollySueDecember 30th, 2011 at 6:20 am

Although you may have been dating, this doesn’t sound like it was a date.

The rest of it is pretty boring tbh. And some of the things complained about are imagined slights, some of which one would have to work hard to be insulted by. Like sitting the OP at a table for more than two, for example. If he’s cooking and serving dinner, chances are he had to get up and attend to the dinner and other guests when they were all eating. That way you’d at least have company during the entire dinner. Something tells me that if she (?) was at a cosy table for two, there’d be kvetching that he was dumping her on her own when he served others.

Sorry to hear about the job loss though, hopefully the OP found work quickly.

Sally WordSlingerDecember 30th, 2011 at 9:44 am

Either way, it sounds more like My Very Worst Day.

Hmmmmm!!! Maybe I’ll start that blog up.

C D PlayneDecember 30th, 2011 at 10:18 am

@Raven – “Maybe something changed before the dinner happened but he didn’t know to tell her…so awkwardness ensued.”

Yeah, tend to agree with this as a possible explanation. Though the event didn’t turn out as planned for you, be thankful that you got a bit of closure with his later phone call.

NattieDecember 30th, 2011 at 11:06 am

But yeah, still definitely a bad date/day. Good luck on the job front, OP.

JeffJanuary 1st, 2012 at 6:37 pm

This seems like a good example of how an unrelated bad experience can color your perceptions of what happens afterward. Had the OP not been upset about being fired, I doubt this would qualify as her VWD – especially since, as others noted, it really wasn’t a date at all.

JayJanuary 3rd, 2012 at 10:46 am

Really doesn’t sound like he thought it was a date. If you’d just thought of it as “hanging out with my friends”, you would’ve had a perfectly good time.

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