The Escape Artist
I had been dating this guy, B, for about two months when he invited me to his roommate’s wedding. He was the best man, so I sat with a friend of his during the ceremony. I hadn’t seen B at all before the wedding, and I noticed him swaying side to side a bit. I knew the groomsmen had had a few beers while getting ready – I assumed B just had a couple too many.
After the ceremony was over, I walked over to greet B, who promptly grabbed my ass in front of everyone and shoved his tongue down my throat. His eyes were bloodshot, and his breath stunk of booze and cigarettes (I hate smoking, and B had previously sworn to me he never smoked). Annoyed, I asked him how much he’d been drinking. He said just a few beers, but he was done.
Despite that promise, B took full advantage of the reception’s open bar. After he slurred his way through his best man’s toast, spilled a glass of champagne down my dress, tried to make out with another guy, and introduced me to his ex-wife’s mother (a friend of the bride) as his “new piece of ass,” I asked him to cool it with the drinking. His response was to begin crying and shouting at me that I ruined all his fun.
Since the groomsmen had carpooled there, I was stuck driving the drunken idiot home. While driving 55 miles per hour down the highway, B decided it was a good time to tell me he would rather die than be stuck with me any longer, and reached over to open the passenger side door. I freaked out and grabbed his arm before he could jump out in front of an oncoming semi. He then started telling me how much he loved me, put his arms around me, and squeezed me tight, causing me to jerk the steering wheel sharply to the right. I hit the brakes, and my car skidded to a stop against the curb. Thank God there was no oncoming traffic at that moment!
After getting back on the road and screaming at B about what an idiot he was for almost killing both of us, he yelled the whole way home that I was a slut, a bitch, and a psycho, and that he’d rather have his ex-wife back than be with me. I got him home and made sure he couldn’t find his car keys to drive off somewhere and kill someone, then left. He immediately texted me saying “Where are you, baby? I love you.”
Last I heard he was back with an ex-girlfriend. I just hope she can handle the crazy better than I could.
