The Chill Zone

Though many girls might be put off or even unnerved by having their first date in a crawl space, I was elated. I’d had a crush on D for some time, and his asking me out was surprising and exciting. At the time, what some people refer to as “red flags” came off as charming quirks to my naive high school self. The space was decorated with stringed lights, B-movie posters and dingy couches; D called it the “Chill Zone” and warned me that it was to be kept secret at all costs.

“We can’t go upstairs,” he explained, “because my mom will ask too many questions.”

A positive start to any relationship. Before I could say anything, D changed the subject, reaching behind my sofa (which was covered in stained crocheted blankets) and pulling out a stack of straw hats and tiaras.

“Take a tiara,” he offered.

In protest I took a straw hat, something D seemed to find unnerving. He sat on the couch across from me, wearing a plastic tiara with pink jewels, his knees pressed up to his chin. The coffee table between us was scattered with drug paraphernalia and sketches of Heath Ledger’s Joker. The conversation flowed from anime to our high school and inevitably to Star Wars. Looking back, I found him interesting and funny – oh hell, I thought we were soul mates. The next day, he messaged me, shattering any illusions.

“I’m just not into girls right now,” he said with finality.

In retrospect, it should have been me saying, “I’m just not into crawl spaces right now.”

But regardless, it took a while to sort the pieces of my bad boy/creeper crush. At the end of it I still cringe and think, “I should have picked the tiara.”

Comments (19)
jamieMay 22nd, 2012 at 9:01 am

dafuq did i just read….

JayMay 22nd, 2012 at 9:10 am

A weird date, but it sound like you actually really enjoyed it. So.. it’s your worst date because there was no second date?

SnizMay 22nd, 2012 at 9:45 am

What?

NattieMay 22nd, 2012 at 10:38 am

Maybe not a true MVWD, but a) fun to read nontheless, and b) I am now inspired to put a stack of straw hats and tiaras behind my sofa, and offer them to guests with no explanation.

TitoMay 22nd, 2012 at 10:51 am

This sounds more like a story from the rants & raves section of Craigslist…..Or Sweet valley high;(

CatherineMay 22nd, 2012 at 10:52 am

@Nattie too funny!!! I want to know the reason behind those head pieces. Also when he put the tiara on did it do something to him to make him not into girls anymore? I wonder when the OP put the straw hat what changes did it make to her? Was he unnerved because the straw hat holds more power than the tiara? LOL!!!

AudaxMay 22nd, 2012 at 11:50 am

I’m glad you didn’t pick the tiara and showed some spine!

buffyMay 22nd, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Seems appropriate that the date was in someplace very much like a closet.

JackyMMay 22nd, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Haha, I guess putting that tiara on…. turned him into a queen :].

VixMay 22nd, 2012 at 4:10 pm

I actually Lol’d at that Nattie! The OP either showed an incredible amount of stupidity going into a crawl space as a first date or a lot of spine. Funny how those two can be confused..

Socialite DreamsMay 22nd, 2012 at 4:34 pm

lmao @buffy and @jackym

mhmMay 22nd, 2012 at 8:37 pm

r u sure u were in high school? cuz this sounds like a couple of kids playing hide and dress up.

DeeMay 23rd, 2012 at 10:16 am

If he’s not into girls, seems like a golden opportunity to make a new just-friend.

TillieMay 23rd, 2012 at 10:49 am

LoL @JackyM.
Also, side note: Is anyone else as delighted to discover that Tito has read Sweet Vally High?

JeffMay 24th, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I’m not sure I’m understanding how this guy qualifies as either a “bad boy” or a “creeper”. Queerer than a five-legged rabbit, that I’ll give you.

I’m putting this in the “Stories from teenagers that don’t make a whole lot of sense” file.

europeanMay 25th, 2012 at 3:36 am

@ Jeff: word, man! I’m a bit lost here………..can someone please enlighten me?

TulipMay 25th, 2012 at 11:59 am

I feel like part of this story got lost in the interwebz…

AndyMay 29th, 2012 at 10:37 am

Wth? Was this supposed to make sense?

oreocookieseaterJune 26th, 2012 at 2:05 pm

Wait, there are things in this story I am confused about. If they are at D’s house how did he reach behind “her sofa?” did anyone catch that?

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