Just a few days ago, I was got an inbox message on a dating site that I’m on. The guy was nice looking and his profile seemed interesting, so I responded and we sent messages back and forth for about three hours. After that fairly short period of time, he asked if I’d like to meet him for lunch the very next day. I figured the conversation was going well so why not? We exchanged numbers and he told me that I could call him right then and there, but I told him I was doing homework so I’d talk to him later.
He called me a few hours later but text messaged me first to see if I was busy. I thought that was pretty thoughtful of him until….as soon as I answered the phone he asked if I was busy again. I told him no and that if I were busy I wouldn’t had said it was okay to call. He said, “Well, you sounded busy when you answered.” Ummm…all I said was “Hello?” So the conversation was a little awkward, not flowing like it was when we chatted online, but I figured that maybe he was nervous.
He started asking me about school. I told him about this incredibly hard computer programming class I’m taking, that it involved quite a bit of math but I’m pretty good at math so I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it soon. He went on to say that it’s strange that I’m good at math because “African-Americans usually aren’t good at math” (mind you, he’s also black so I thought it was a weird thing to say). So I said I had never heard that before and he goes into telling me the statistics of how many African-Americans (though we’re the same race, it was really bothering me that he kept saying African-Americans…I never heard someone be so politically correct in basic conversation) weren’t good at math and how he read it in some article however long ago. Again I said, “That’s interesting but you’re the first person that’s ever told me that.” He kept talking statistics which was really turning me off. I was about to say, “Well I’m just really good at remembering numbers.” But before I could get it all the way out he said, “You’re too weak for me, I need a strong woman by my side, goodbye,” and hung up on me!
So I tried to call him back and he childishly sent me to voice mail. I text messaged him asking what just happened because I thought we were just having a conversation. I wasn’t really upset, just shocked. He responded that he was just talking and that I got upset for no reason. Okay, at no point in that conversation was I upset, I’d just never heard the information he was telling me ever before, that’s all I was saying. So I called him again and we talked about it. He half-assed an apology, then changed the subject to concerts I’ve been to, then asked if I still wanted to meet for lunch the next day. I hesitated so he told me to think about it and that he had to go (he didn’t hang up on me this time).
After talking to two friends (getting both a male and female perspective of what happened) I decided I wanted to see how he was in person and told him yes, I’d still meet with him. We met the next day at Dave & Buster’s (a restaurant/bar/game center). I got there first and ordered my food – but I made sure the waitress brought separate checks because I was still kinda stinging from our conversation the night before and I didn’t want him to think that I was just trying to get a free meal.
He arrived, gave me a half-hug and made no eye contact the entire time we were talking. More regular conversation ensued, but then the subject changed to a certain city in this area that’s known for being racist back in the day (I live one city over and go to that city all the time, I’ve NEVER experienced any racism). He told me about how he never goes there. I told him that I never had a problem there at any establishment and asked him when the last time he was there. He said that he hadn’t been there since someone called him the “N” word back in high school…mind you, this guy is 36 so that had to be what, 20 years ago?!
At this point I’m thinking this guy is kind of weird and negative so I said again that I go there all the time and never had a problem. He takes his money out, pays for his one beer, abruptly gets up and says “Well, I gotta go. It was nice meeting you, bye,” and walked off, leaving me at the table alone! I don’t know what that guy’s problem was but I deleted his number as soon as he walked away. What a majorly rude jerk…