Roller Coaster Buffoon
I had been dating “C” for several months before the dreaded date occurred. Truth be told, I should have seen it coming (he was not the best boyfriend in the world), but he was my first serious relationship, and I was naive.
We had met in college and dated for a while before we were forced to go long distance during summer break. One day, C informed me that he had bought a plane ticket to come visit me for a week. I was excited to see him, and when the day came, I picked him up at the airport, anticipating a great week. Unfortunately, it turned out the be the worst seven days of my life.
To start things off, he insisted that he stay at my parents house, sleeping in my bed, while I was forced to sleep on the ground. Throughout most of the week, he sat in my room, playing on my computer, occasionally telling me to go make him a sandwich or get him a drink of water. He barely ever spoke a word to my family, unless you include the time he informed my mother of the meals he expected to be made during his stay. Needless to say, I was horrified and extremely offended, but I didn’t know what to do because his plane was not scheduled to leave for several days.
I managed to drag C away from my computer by suggesting that we go to an amusement park for the day. He agreed, and we set off for 6 Flags. When we arrived to the park, I got out my wallet to pay for the parking fee. Now when I’m with my friends, we typically split the cost of parking, but C made no attempt to help pay, so I was paid the $15 cost of parking. But I brushed past it. Maybe he wasn’t used to that type of etiquette.
Then we went to pay for our tickets into the park. Now something you should know about me: I hate the “guy pays for the girl” tradition, and I always insist on paying my own way. But when the cashier asked “How many tickets?” and C responded “Two adults,” I thought he was going to pay for the both of us. Boy was I wrong. Instead he stood there expectantly until I took out my wallet and was forced to pay for the both of us. At this point, I was just confused, insulted, and becoming somewhat angry.
After a while in the park, I suggested we get some lunch because I was beginning to get a headache and was pretty hungry. We went into a small “order at the counter” diner and decided what we were each going to order. When it was our turn up at the counter, he ordered his meal (which he paid for! Whew…) and then I ordered mine. But when I went to my wallet, I discovered that I didn’t have any money left (probably because I had SPENT IT ALL ON PARKING AND HIS TICKET). I asked him if it would be all right to borrow some from him, but he said he “didn’t feel comfortable with that” and offered me the “leftovers” from his meal. His idea of leftovers? The decorative lettuce on the side and the rest of his dipping sauce, smeared at the bottom of the plate. While I picked at the soggy lettuce, he wouldn’t shut up about “what a great boyfriend he is to share his meal.” As would only be natural, I became absolutely irate at how disrespectful, selfish, and insulting he had been to me (and my family!). Because I was still starving and then had a full-blown headache, I was unable to go on any more rides. I told him I wasn’t feeling well, but instead of being concerned for me, he took this to mean that he should leave me behind and continue to go on rides without me. At the end of the day, we drove home with him babbling on and on about how much fun we had together. C left a couple days later without even thanking my family for all they did in providing a place for him to stay and feeding him three meals a day.
C and I broke up soon after, but he has never gotten the picture of why I broke up with him, and insisted that he was a model boyfriend during his visit. Needless to say, I hope to never hear from him again!
