The Nosy Neighbor

My Very Worst Date is still burning a hole in my mind.

I met this guy J at a club; he seemed like a cool guy, so when he asked for my phone number I thought about it for a second, then thought “why not?” and gave it to him. I’ll skip the details that make me an idiot for dating him: including his temper tantrums, inflated ego, and mysterious drama that seemed to follow him around like a dark cloud (after he specified that he hated drama). Anyway I was also in an” on again off again” relationship of three years at the same time and since we were just dating it didn’t seem like a big deal.

On Easter Sunday, I felt as if I was suffocating at home, so when J asked me what I wanted to do I said I wanted drinks, now. Bad idea.

I met him at a movie theater parking lot, then he drove us to the small parking lot at the bar. It started off with him on the phone when I got in the car, arguing about someone’s education. He took his attention off the phone for a second to say I looked nice, then returned to his ranting. Although he lives in the area he began driving the opposite direction so I pointed it out; that’s when the person on the phone said “Who are you with?” J said “A girl,” and the guy on the phone said “Is it ???” I didn’t get to hear the name because he immediately took the phone off speaker.

Finally he hung up, and went on and on about how he just got a new Iphone 4s. He asked if I still needed one; I said no thanks, because I just bought an awesome phone and don’t care for the Iphone. He said “Are you sure? I’ll sell it for $400.” I said no again while he continued ranting that if I wanted it I would have to wait because this one was for someone else. Okay, then why was he offering?

J then decided to ask about my car search; I said I found a Mustang I liked and opened a new can of worms. First, I was stupid for buying a Mustang and needed to go with a Corolla some random girl was selling. Then J pulled out his Iphone and opened some app showing car values on the Corolla. When he couldn’t find the value for the Mustang, I pulled out my phone, showed him a website that had the value for the Corolla at $2,000 less than on his app, plus the value for the Mustang at $4000 more than the Corolla. Then he called me a liar.

While all this was going on my “on again off again” boyfriend was blowing up my phone with text messages about what a whore I was for going out for drinks with J.

Frustrated about the whole ordeal (and this dude’s ego) I was ready to go – but realized I had only been there for 15 minutes. So, grinding my teeth, I tried to stick it through and attempted to change the conversation. FAIL. J decided to go back to the car ordeal, calling his friend about an auction and probing me about how much money I was going to spend. I told him I didn’t like telling people my personal information. Then he started asking about my job, how much was I making, had I asked for an increase, why hadn’t I ordered from some catalog and calling me stupid for working for corporate America.

Fed up, I stood and said I had to go. J then called the waitress stupid for not getting there with our check sooner, all while still ranting about my job. The ordeal lasted all through the ride to my car. When I pulled out my keys he grabbed my hand, kissed it, and took the keys. He began inspecting every key I had and asking what they where for, including key chains and gym passes. Finally I made up a story about having to get up early, promised to see him sometime during the week to watch Titanic, grabbed my keys and left.

I am currently considering changing my number but I’ll stick to never answering his calls or messages again.

Comments (16)
NGMay 29th, 2012 at 5:24 am

Is “on again off again” boyfriend a roundabout way of saying “friend with benefits”?

NattieMay 29th, 2012 at 5:26 am

Ever notice how people who say they don’t like drama, often have the most? Then again, it sounds like this guy causes his own, arguing about things that…shouldn’t matter.

RattusMay 29th, 2012 at 6:15 am

@Nattie, yeah, my first thought was that people who don’t actually get involved in drama, also don’t speak of drama, and don’t claim to “hate” drama. In fact, “hate” is a pretty dramatic emotion, so hating drama is a bit of a tautology.

TraceyMay 29th, 2012 at 8:42 am

To-Do List for OP:

1) Change your number. J and on again-off again guy will continue to call.
2) Block J’s communication access to you (Facebook, etc.). They will try to get in touch again.
3) Dump the on again-off again guy because he sounds like he’s as douchey as J. (Going out for drinks = whore? Really?)
4) Spend some time on your own. Enjoy the peace and quiet that comes with not dating for a while (think at least a few months).
5) Start dating again…slowly. Remember how the on again-off again guy and J behaved. As soon as you see the first traces of that behavior in the person you’re dating, cut, run, and start over.

TraceyMay 29th, 2012 at 9:58 am

*2) Block J and on again-off again’s communication access to you…they will try to get in touch again.

reviewMay 29th, 2012 at 10:14 am

Corolla?! Bish please, that better be the West Coast. Exhaust system that sounds like a coffee can, and ridiculous spoiler that makes the car look like a big plastic shopping cart. Bravo OP on picking the Mustang. You gotta airbrush an Aztec warrior on it.

RavenMay 29th, 2012 at 12:18 pm

I never understood the on-off relationship thing. Way too complicated in my book.

J sounds like a weirdo, and OP should not have promised to see him again. “You’re obnoxious. Don’t call me.” Easy.

LMay 29th, 2012 at 12:28 pm

It was an “ordeal” just to get through this one. Why is it titled “Nosy Neighbor”?

maoMay 29th, 2012 at 12:36 pm

Hmm, this guy’s nuts, but OP, you should take an objective view about your on/off boyfriend as well and dump the drama queen. Don’t allow yourself to get sucked into these traps. A simple example, when the guy couldn’t find the price of the car, don’t pull out your phone and add fuel to the fire. I get the desire to prove them wrong (and shut up his phone pitch), but just saying “oh well” might have saved you some grief.

And you were at the movie theater parking lot right? When he grabbed your keys and started probing into your personal life, don’t make up an excuse to leave. Excuse may be okay for someone you care about hurting (even though honesty is best). I would’ve screamed “ROBBERY!” at the top of the lungs until he dropped the keys and ran.

gigiMay 29th, 2012 at 2:21 pm

so the “on and off bf” gets a free pass on calling u a whore?

NikkiMay 29th, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I don’t like to generalize and stereotype people, but I judge Corolla drivers without apology. 9 times of 10, if I’m cut off, or if someone drifts into my lane without signalling, or if someone inexplicably slams on their brakes in front of me… it’s a Corolla. 7 times out of 10, it’s a beige one.

Further reading on the subject:
http://drivingmsmiranda.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/why-do-you-hate-me-so-beige-corolla/
http://nutinalifeshell.blogspot.ca/2010/05/beware-of-beige-corolla.html

RavenMay 30th, 2012 at 7:07 am

Also – I hate talking about money. Don’t ask me what I paid for something. I won’t ask you what you paid for anything. Talking about money grosses me out. Talking about money with someone I barely know, who’s being a jerk, is enough to completely turn me off, instantly. Yuck.

And yes to gigi, I agree – what happened to the on/off who called OP a whore? Double yuck.

AlonzoMay 30th, 2012 at 7:28 am

On-and-off is projecting his own pesonality into the situation. Whoring is what HE is really doing whenever he just goes out for drinks with friends . . .

danaMay 30th, 2012 at 8:35 am

wow girl u should go look for a man whose not gonna lead u on for three years and call u names and date crazy men there are plenty of guys out there who would be perfect for u not some jackass who gonna just use u for three years that’s a problem

DisyyflowersMay 30th, 2012 at 9:22 am

Thanks guys for the advice I’m happy to say I dumped the on/off “bf” if you could call him that, never picked up J’s calls after the “date”… and went ahead and got a bad ass infiniti g35!! A part of me wants me to go rub it in his nose but it’s not worth the drama this queen will make lol

JeffJune 1st, 2012 at 9:17 pm

Sounds like the OP generates plenty of drama all by herself. It’s hard for me to have sympathy when someone dates a person they already know to be an ass and then are surprised and disappointed when they behave like an ass. Especially when they’re dragging that person into an “on-and-off” situation involving another guy. What a mess.

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