Uncouth or Dare
I had met D in my Spanish class this last winter during my first year of college and developed a crush on him. One night we hung out after class and had a great time. Needless to say, I was thrilled to have him show interest in me as well.
He’s 22 and I’m 18, not much of an age difference, but upon this first time hanging out, he openly told me that he had been married. I was a little concerned, but I decided that I would be accepting and not let that fact affect how I felt. There were other signs that told me that this nice, respectful guy from my class was not what he appeared to be. On our first date, I learned he had a piercing below the belt, and was into light drugs. Again, I let those slide because I was naive and hopeful of finding my first relationship in college.
We hung out a couple other times. On one of these days, he insisted the need to get me to party and have a college experience. So he spent $30 on 18 bottles of hard lemonade. I had told him repeatedly not to spend the money, but accepted and was excited to have some alcohol. I knew that he was buying this in order to loosen me up and get physical with him, but when he showed no interest in drinking with me, I wrote off that ploy.
When we started talking about a relationship, I saw that he was not entirely who I thought. He immediately laid out ground rules for dating him, such as not being jealous of him hanging out with other girls, not asking questions about his connections with drugs (he’s a dealer, I come to find out) and he will not meet my parents. At this point, I was not interested in a relationship and didn’t push the subject further since he flat out told me he would not be a good boyfriend. I still had somewhat of a crush, however, and continued to (stupidly) hang out with him on a couple occasions as friends. Now, to MVWD.
He asked if I wanted to hang out for an hour or two before his night shift. I said all right, and we met for pizza. I mentioned that I still had some of the alcohol he bought me and he insisted we go drink it. I (stupidly) said ok, and him and I went back to my room to begin drinking. We had both had one or two and began playing truth or dare. I knew where this was going but decided to play along to see how far things would go.
He ended up giving me a back massage and eventually I was lying on my stomach with him on top of me. He lifted up my shirt and I warned him not to go further. Disregarding my warnings, he began kissing my back and neck, and at one point he bit my shoulder. I didn’t mind it, but it hurt when he bit me and shortly after he tried to take off my bra. I told him to stop, and he kept trying to convince me to let him. Eventually, I sat up so he would stop and him and I now sat awkwardly on my bed.
He told me he would never hit on me again and said that my friends would be upset with either him or with me since I didn’t go further with him. I tried to talk to him about it, but he did not want to. After a while we went outside so he could smoke and we could relax. I was confused as hell, upset, and didn’t know what to think of the situation. He had told me that he had hit on another girl from our Spanish class as well during that night too, so I knew at this point this was not the guy for me. We went our ways for the night.
Later, I saw a post of his on Facebook about how hard it is to hit on girls, that girls should not lead guys on only to shut them down and this is the hardest he’s been rejected in over a year. I was pissed to see his passive rant, when he was so against talking with me about what happened. He texted me later that night as if nothing happened, and I didn’t say anything about the post. To make this worse, two days later, I saw on Facebook that he is now in a relationship with the other girl from our class that he was hitting on. At this point I am no longer friends with this jerk, and I only hope this girl isn’t manipulated by him like he tried to do to me.
