Girlfriend Shopping Goes Awry

I was out shopping in a department store recently when I noticed a girl in front of me in the queue, so I chatted to her briefly. I felt quite embarrassed but I asked her out for coffee. She said yes and we went right away. She seemed nice, so I got her number and we called and chatted all that week. She seemed really super keen to meet me so I made plans to meet her for a drink down the pub one night. Deep down I kinda knew she wasn’t girlfriend material, but I went with it nonetheless.

Well what an unmitigated disaster!

Her mood was very ‘spiky’ I’d say; she got very stern and serious and then told me how her last boyfriend had died, how unhappy she was with her life, etc. Then she started crying…right there in the bar!

Her sense of humor was very odd indeed. I found her to be very dry, and, worryingly enough, quite scary! She kept asking where I lived, what floor and how many apartments were in my block etc!?

Then, to top it all of, she asked me what I’d do if she killed herself!!!? Holy sh*t!

She’s one messed up girl…I just hope she doesn’t stalk me!

June 19th, 2012 in Completely Psychotic, Mid-Courtship Disaster, Problematic Point of No Return, WTF?

Comments (20)

spamJune 19th, 2012 at 5:26 am

Need 45 seconds of life back…

NattieJune 19th, 2012 at 5:37 am

What is a spiky mood?

But yes, bullet dodged. I hope she’s doing okay now.

RattusJune 19th, 2012 at 5:54 am

I can more or less understand what a “spiky” mood is, but “pit shopping” leaves me flummoxed. Shopping for pits? If so, what sort of pits? Shopping in a pit? If so, why? Why not go to a mall? Or better yes, online, where you don’t meet psychos in person.

RattusJune 19th, 2012 at 5:55 am

Damnation, I wish this site had an edit function – better *yet*, online…

AlonzoJune 19th, 2012 at 6:46 am

I appreciate your brevity . . .

SallyWordSlingerJune 19th, 2012 at 7:33 am

“Spiky mood” is an interesting expression. I like it. It describes really well how I feel when I get PMS.

Is “pit shopping” perhaps a typo for “out shopping”? I confess, I googled it, assuming I’m unhip but nothing came up.

adminJune 19th, 2012 at 8:07 am

@SallyWordSlinger – you know, that’s a good catch. I left it as “pit” because I assumed it was an expression I had never heard before (happens more often than I’d like) but now I will go change it!

sarahJune 19th, 2012 at 8:47 am

Definitely a bad date but still a boring story.

ChelsJune 19th, 2012 at 8:48 am

Dear OP,

Maybe you should have asked her about the state of her mental health instead of assuming she was bipolar.

Thanks.

ArgyleEnigmaJune 19th, 2012 at 8:49 am

I assumed it was some sort of play on a pit stop. Like pit-shopping was dropping in quickly to get just one thing, or something. But I think I over analyzed there, probably just a typo.

ArgyleEnigmaJune 19th, 2012 at 8:51 am

Asked her about her mental state??? Yeah, that’s totally appropriate conversation fodder for a first date in a pub with someone you’re not interested in seeing again. Cripes.

NattieJune 19th, 2012 at 8:55 am

Dear Chels,

Where did OP say that she was bipolar? You’ve made me seriously question my reading comprehension ability, as well as ctrl+f. And sure, while it would have been nice of OP to act as therapist, it’s rather understandable to feel uncomfortable when the topic of suicide comes up on the first date.

ChelsJune 19th, 2012 at 9:49 am

“Spiky mood” plus suicidal thoughts. I read that pretty clearly as bipolar disorder.

NattieJune 19th, 2012 at 10:15 am

Fair enough, though not all individuals with bipolar disorder are suicidal, and I took spiky to mean thorny (yours makes more sense.) But there’s a big difference between OP describing how she acted, and amateurly diagnosing her with bipolar. If I say that someone told me they’ve been feeling depressed and that they burst into tears frequently, it doesn’t mean that I’m assuming that they have clinical depression.

blondieJune 19th, 2012 at 10:51 am

Based on the very limited info we got, I’d say it’s just as likely that there’s nothing “wrong” with the girl- OP may have just had crappy timing. If her boyfriend died recently, she’s probably just traumatized by that- trying hard to pull herself together and get back into socializing, but just not quite ready to be there yet. I know plenty of people who have been there. It doesn’t mean they’re bipolar. If OP had started flirting it up with her at a less traumatic period things may have gone very differently.

SallyWordSlingerJune 19th, 2012 at 12:26 pm

Nattie…why do you say that you wouldn’t assume someone who feels depressed and cries a lot is suffering from depression? I think a girl who bursts into tears in the middle of a bar with a stranger would probably pass the test for “depressed” (at some level).

I went through a depression a few years ago. I acted kind of nutty. I cried with very little provocation, and yeah, my attempts at humour tended to come out wrong. I felt like I was bipolar because the lows were so freaking low and the normal days felt great by comparison.

We shouldn’t joke about mental health. It really is a tough road.

Well anyway, I never joked about suicide, so at least I know the OP’s bat-shit date story isn’t about me.

NattieJune 19th, 2012 at 1:30 pm

@Sally: If you feel depressed you’re obviously depressed (at some level,) and crying in public is definitely an indication of that, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re suffering from clinical depression. You might be, of course, but the actual diagnosing is best left up to a mental health professional. My point above was merely that OP calling describing the girl’s tears and spikey mood was not the same as the OP calling the girl bipolar.

DaniJune 19th, 2012 at 2:38 pm

@Chels – Um… if he didn’t say anywhere in the story that he thought she was bipolar, and his words were only describing the way she was behaving (if someone is talking about suicidal thoughts and has a lot of ups and downs, then they can accurately be described that way), then aren’t YOU the one who is assuming she’s bipolar…? Maybe you shouldn’t assume he assumed she was bipolar

thanks.