MVWD was my very first date after getting divorced. It was also my very first foray into online dating, which I had reservations about in the first place. However, I was 30 years old and had few friends that weren’t mutual friends of my ex-wife, so it seemed like the best option to meet someone new.
The girl seemed normal over the course of a week’s worth of emails and a couple phone calls, so we decided to meet at a restaurant that was midway between where we lived, only about 15 minutes away from either of us. The restaurant did not take reservations, but had a large bar area where we were to meet and wait for a table. She had gotten there a couple minutes before me and from the second I introduced myself, I could tell I was in trouble. She was obviously drunk, swaying a little and slurring. By the time she finished her beer, she was approaching full on hammered territory and started grabbing my waist and ass. The restaurant was crowded, so it wasn’t quite causing a scene yet, but I could see it coming. Because we still had about 20 minutes to wait for our table, I suggested we go to place across the street for food, since it was usually less crowded, in the hopes of feeding her to sober her up.
No such luck, however – the other place was also packed and had a 30 minute wait. As we stood in the bar trying to figure out what to do, she excused herself to go to the bathroom and returned five minutes later, still wobbly but now also smelling like puke. This was when I decided to cut my losses and told her I was going to get her a cab home. As soon as we walked outside, she shoved her tongue down my throat, confirming that, yes, she not only smelled like vomit, she also tasted like it. She said she needed to get something from her car before getting a cab, but when we got to her car, she got in the passenger seat and demanded that I drive her home. Instead of deciding she could then find her own way home, I decided I didn’t want to risk her driving and killing herself or someone else, and agreed to drive her, mainly so she would stop yelling at me from her car.
As soon as we got on the brief strip of highway on the way to her house, she promptly fell asleep. Actually, more like lapsed into a coma. I pulled the car to the side of the highway and did everything in my power to get her to wake up, but to no avail – she was asleep and was going to stay that way. Luckily for me, I had an iPhone and decided to just look at her drivers license and get directions to her house that way, then take a cab back to my car. Only when I got out her license, it was from another state, though she had never mentioned she had recently moved.
On to plan C? or D? Who knows at this point. After weighing the options of a.) using her cell phone to call her parents/random contact b.) calling the cops c.) putting her in a cab, I decided i didn’t want to deal with the drama of a and b and thinking she might get murdered under option c, I decided to put her in my car and take her to my place. I may not have been thinking clearly at that point. I was luckily able to get a parking spot right behind my car and carried her, fireman style, to put her in my car. Then carried her into my house and into the guest bedroom, still without her ever waking up.
So at this point, on my first date in six years, it was 9:00 on a Friday and I had kidnapped a drunken stranger. After giving up on her waking up that night and going to bed around midnight, I was awoken at 7:00 am by a meek knocking on my bedroom door. After an awkward 15 minute trip to her car, I never saw her again. I did receive a text message the next day asking for a second chance, but, for some reason, I declined.