Not Gonna Fly
Against my better judgement I met this ‘charmer’ on the Plenty of Fish dating site. I should’ve known better – there’s a reason it’s free!
4th of July was our first and last date.
Apparently he was in the piercing business and proceeded to tell my mother and I how “fun” it is to hang from hooks that were actually looped through piercings in your back, and pretend like you’re flying while suspended from a tree on a rope.
If that wasn’t weird enough for ya, believe me, there’s more. We went to the beach (my poor mother was in attendance for this part) and apparently the mixture of booze and energy drinks makes a flake even flakier…
Bear in mind, he’s known me less than 24 hrs and he’s already planning me coming with him to far-away Virgina – where he was gonna be moving. He even went so far as to verbally plan-out a vacation for my folks there. He also piled on the thick, sickening sweet compliments that, heard more then a couple times, cease to sound genuine.
This snowballed into all new levels of crazy. The hell at the beach finally came to a close and he and I headed home. I couldn’t even tell where we were because he was so busy wanting to be ‘near’ me I couldn’t pry my head away to see out the window of the car. We finally got back to my house (unfortunately it’s also were his car is parked) and he found it completely normal (at midnight) to hoist me up on his shoulders and stroll through the house; my head barely escaped smashing into the ceiling above. After several attempts to subtly tell him to leave, he finally got the hint and went.
Lesson learned: I closed the POF account.