The Marine Scene

MVWD was the culmination of a series of three dates.

A friend of mine who lived in another state was dating a guy who I’ll call Kong. Kong was in the Marines and was stationed in California close to where I lived. My friend had called me up, excited to tell me that she was coming to California for the Marine Ball, and that since I lived close and we hadn’t seen each other in a while that we should hang out. I agreed since she was a close friend of mine. She then called me up a few days later even more excited because Kong had a friend (who I’ll call ‘Rong’) who needed a date to the ball. Basically, I got talked into being Rong’s date. I was excited because I am always up for adventure, meeting new people, and having new experiences. I figured the Marine Ball would be a really cool experience. Had I a different date, maybe it would have been…

Date #1:
My friend gave me Kong’s number and said that Rong wanted to meet me, to make sure I wanted to go to the ball with him. I texted Kong and we made plans for the two of them to come to my house. Let me tell you, Kong is a real asshole. He is probably the rudest and most ignorant guy I’ve ever met. I kept thinking how glad I was that he wouldn’t be my date. It was a beautiful day on the day they came and I had been planing on taking them to the beach. If that didn’t work out I figured we could go in my pool, go out to lunch, go bowling, I had a bunch of backup plans (funny that I’m the girl and I had to do all the planning…).

When they got to my house, I was in for an unpleasant surprise when I saw Rong. He was nothing like described…the worst part was his teeth. I pushed it aside though and hoped he was at least a nice guy. When I suggested all my plans, Kong said he didn’t want to do anything and said he wanted to go to a movie. I told him that wouldn’t be a very good way for us to get to know each other and that I wanted to go somewhere we could socialize and talk. We agreed on the outdoor mall near my house and left. Kong drove and almost got us in three accidents on the ten minute drive there. The date went very well though. Rong and I got along and had a good time laughing and talking. Kong had abandoned us and we had no idea where he was. When we finally decided to go back to my house, we called Kong to pick us up. He had gotten into an accident while going to get his tires changed (why he decided to do it then I will never know…). His car was fine but the car he hit wasn’t. He got himself out of it by saying he was a Marine…what a ridiculous excuse. That is the most of that date, and I continued to talk to my date, Rong, and agreed to go to the ball with him.

Date #2:

A few weeks after the initial meeting, Rong invited me to come down to his base so we could see each other again. I agreed since the last date had gone relatively well. I made the hour drive down there, picked him up, and asked him what the plan was. He didn’t have one. I was annoyed to say the least. We finally decided on the beach and a movie. It was very pleasant and fun for the first few hours. We saw a movie, got milkshakes, walked around town, went into the library and read random books together, walked on the pier to watch surfers. All good!

The last two hours is where it started to go downhill. Let me start by saying I am NOT an affectionate person. I am not prude, but I do not put out easily at all and had already promised myself that I would never even kiss Rong because of his gross teeth. We were walking on the beach and came to a wedding that was going on. We got there right for the kiss and I was raving about how cute it was and how beautiful the bride was. He decided to take that chance to tell me what a beautiful sunset it was, and how romantic it would be to walk with a beautiful girl on the beach, I laughed nervously and he GRABBED my hand and started walking with me on the beach. I hate holding hands, and no matter how hard I tried (folding my arms/having an itch) he wouldn’t let my hand go. We were walking toward a jetty and on the walk he officially asked me to the ball. I told him yes. He then started saying things about getting a hotel room for that night and how Kong was going to get us drinks. I politely declined and told him I had work early the day after the ball, and that I was already taking off work to go to the ball. He kept insisting on the hotel and I told him I did not sleep with guys and would not spend the night with him. He reluctantly shut up about it for the moment.

When we reached the jetty we walked to the end and watched the sun set. I was standing there taking in the beauty while he was nervously pacing. I could just tell he was trying to think of a way to kiss me. I know those signs. So I did everything I could to avoid eye contact with him. He started asking me what my plans were for the future, things I wanted to do. I named off countless things I was planning on accomplishing but he interrupted me and said “NO, something you want to do like right now!” There was a very awkward pause before I told him I didn’t know (of course he wanted me to say I wanted to kiss him..) he then proceeded to put his arms around me, while mine hung limply at my side. Very awkward to say the least. We stood there for a good five minutes with me avoiding eye contact and a kiss before he let go. There was a photographer out there taking photos of the sunset and he was very enthusiastic about “how cute we were” and asked us to pose for him. We did…it was fine up until the photographer asked us to kiss. Rong very readily kissed me and I was MORTIFIED. I had no idea what to do. As embarrassed as I am to admit it, I went along. The rest of the date consisted of sex references from Rong that was making me very uncomfortable, and I made up an excuse to leave.

Date #3: The Ball

The week or so leading up to the ball, Rong would NOT leave me alone. Mainly about the hotel, but also that I was “too busy for him” and that I “never made time to come see him.” Mind you, I work full time plus two side jobs and I have a social life to keep up with, I didn’t have time for a three hour round trip drive to see him. He was not my top priority at all and he didn’t seem to understand any of that. I had also told him that I hated texting and would rather talk on the phone, but he continued to text and would keep texting me every 20 minutes until I responded. He also continued with the sex references and kept making me sound like a whore (saying things about how I must have had a lot of previous relationships and that I should be experienced. Stuff like that). He was becoming very very clingy and needy and I do not like clingy guys. We had some very awkward text conversations and I was starting to rethink going to the ball with him. The most awkward text went something like this..
Rong: “Idk though, you may just fall for me ;D”
Me: “yeah well thats what everyone says”  (MEANING, every guys says I’ll fall for him)
Rong: “Who is everyone and why do they think your gonna fall for me?? O.o lol im flattered but also a little creeped out”

I then had to explain that no, nobody thinks I’m going to fall for him. Anyways, I’ll get to the actual ball now. I had made a hair appointment for my friend and I because I got free hairstyles as a promo from my work. Friend called me that morning and told me to change the time of the appointment because Kong and Rong were running late and therefore would have to pick her up later. With much hassle, I was able to change the time. Friend then called me a half hour before the appointment and said she hadn’t even left yet (she was staying an hour and a half away) I called and canceled her appointment and went to mine alone.

Rong, Kong, and Friend finally showed up almost two hours later than they had said. Turns out my lovely date Rong had forgotten our tickets in his room. They drove 45 minutes back to base to get them. BUT, Rong had gotten a call when he got into his room and left the tickets on his bed. We prayed that our names would be on a list and we’d be able to get in. Since the ball was close to my house, I drove myself and Rong there and my friend and Kong went in Kong’s car. The plan was that I would take myself home afterwards and Kong would take Rong back to base since it was on the way to the hotel Kong was going to.

However, once we sat down to dinner, the sex references started up again…even worse now that Kong was piping in. They were trying to guilt me into going back to base with Rong to spend the night with him. Rong informed me that there was an open bar and he would get me as many drinks as I wanted and then he would drive us both back to his base. I told him no so many times I lost count and was no longer enjoying myself. The conversation went to nothing and there was a lot of awkward silence with a bit of listening to my friend and Kong talk about the great sex they were going to have afterwards.

When dinner was over, it was time to dance. I love dancing and had been looking forward to it. But when we got to the dance floor I was, not surprisingly, disappointed at Rong’s dancing skills. He was terrible, and disgusting. I was getting sick of him grinding on my leg so I started dancing alone. The then grabbed me and basically forced me to front-to-front dance/hump/grind, I don’t know what he was doing. The kicker is when he leaned in to kiss me and I avoided it by leaning back. Everyone saw and I’m sure Rong was mortified. We left about ten minutes later; he didn’t walk me out, say goodbye, or acknowledge me after that little kiss mishap. And I haven’t talked to him since…

One positive that came out of this is that the email the photographer gave us was wrong, so I do not have any evidence of that terrible kiss ;)

And that, my friends, was My Very Worst Date.

Comments (36)
AwesomeIDJuly 6th, 2012 at 4:31 am

Edited version:
So this girl I used to be friends with set me up with this sex-starved marine with bad teeth. We didn’t really click, but I really wanted to go their fancy ball so I led him on for three dates, rather than tell him the truth. He must have been very embarrassed when I humiliated him in front of his fellow soldiers by not letting him kiss me in the middle of the dance floor. (Yeah, I let him hold and kiss me during a romantic sunset on a previous date when I was stringing him along, but it’s not like we set a precedent or anything, right? That’s okay though… he’s probably going to get shot in Afganistan or something so his humiliation will be short-lived.

TracksJuly 6th, 2012 at 5:06 am

You sound pretty awful, honestly. Who continues to go on dates with a guy when she thinks he’s gross and instead of saying, “I’m not interested in anything but going to the ball, so no kissing.”, you let him hold and kiss you. Also, that text message was him flirting, not him being an idiot. He clearly wasn’t a prince, but you’re just as at fault.

sighJuly 6th, 2012 at 5:30 am

At nearly 2000 words this is longer than many essays I wrote in college.

RavenJuly 6th, 2012 at 6:07 am

I can see why OP didn’t like this guy by the end – unwanted sexual comments/advances are gross, so no fault there.

However, she did Rong a disservice by agreeing to go to the Marine Ball with him when she knew she wasn’t into him. It almost felt like OP felt she was doing him some massive favour by gracing him with her awesome, perfect-teeth presence or something. Major fault there.

MilenaJuly 6th, 2012 at 6:14 am

Edited versions used to be an original, and rather sarcastic, way of letting OP know her story was too long, but now I just find them annoying and overused.

And Rong didn’t sound all bad, albeit a bit pushy and desperate. You would have been wise to just cancel going to the ball with him, knowing something like this would be happening.

cupkateJuly 6th, 2012 at 6:18 am

I was on OP’s side until she said she’d made up her mind about not kissing Rong because of his teeth. That plus being “annoyed to say the least” about him not making huge plans for you visiting him at base? High maintenance much? Sure, he ended up being desperate and pushy but OP doesn’t sound like a great catch either.

NattieJuly 6th, 2012 at 6:57 am

Rong defintely behaved inappropriately with the constant sex talk and the constant attempted kissing, but I can see why he was confused.

You said yourself that date #2 was initially going quite well, and you did say yes when he asked you to the ball, so I can see why he also might have thought you were willing to kiss him. Why didn’t you try telling him that you weren’t comfortable holding hands or kissing? If his clingyness and sex talk leading up to the ball made you so uncomfortable, why would you still go to the ball with him? Rong wasn’t a gentleman, but you weren’t great either.

AudaxJuly 6th, 2012 at 7:49 am

You can fix teeth. You can’t fix being a douche!

Drinky the Drunk GirlJuly 6th, 2012 at 8:17 am

@cupkate…Really? You make out with guys with nasty teeth and breath like the wharf? Whatever you are into I guess. And if you ask someone on a date and have NO plans, yeah. You are an ass like it or not.

JammaBeanzJuly 6th, 2012 at 8:38 am

Unless it was on your bucket list, there was no reason to accept. Why do girls always have to date in herds? Very strange.

buffyJuly 6th, 2012 at 8:59 am

WHY would you go on a third date when you didn’t like the first two??

NikkiJuly 6th, 2012 at 9:12 am

Yeah, I’m a little confused why you went on three dates with him when you promised yourself you wouldn’t even kiss him, and it became obvious that he was looking for more of a romantic partner for the Marine Ball. Did you really think he would be happy to just hang out with you as friends? The Marine Ball is like prom for a bunch of sex starved men who spend most of their time around other men. It seems kind of cruel to lead this guy on that long, even if he was coming on too strong.

EllereJuly 6th, 2012 at 9:17 am

Whores get paid. Sluts give it out for free. He wasn’t making you sound like a whore, he was making you sound like a slut.

C D PlayneJuly 6th, 2012 at 9:31 am

@Audax – +10!!! Great line – and greater truth!

RattusJuly 6th, 2012 at 9:58 am

Not everyone plans every minute of every day. Also, not everyone is long-winded and boring about the “rongs” they perceive against them. Given that I am not a fan of planned fun and am a huge fan of brevity, I am definitely not Team OP.

ChelsJuly 6th, 2012 at 10:20 am

Not Team OP either. Sad. This entry should be marked ‘tl;dr’ with the synopsis by Awesome ID, Nattie and Rattus.

GinnyJuly 6th, 2012 at 11:57 am

OP – Miss Honey – Did you really want to go a to a dance so badly? Sheesh. Rong was no prince, but you clearly knew that early on.

AvidReaderJuly 6th, 2012 at 1:13 pm

OP is not a prude, but she doesn’t like to hold hands, she doesn’t like to kiss, and she doesn’t sleep with guys?…lol

XJJuly 6th, 2012 at 1:53 pm

If the OP didn’t want to “date” Rong in the beginning, why not just tell him, using your *words*, that you just want to remain friends, and that you don’t want to hold hands or kiss? Maybe I skimmed this long essay, but I didn’t see any evidence where the OP simply told Rong that she did not want to kiss him, or did not want to hold hands. Instead, she remained quiet the whole time. He probably thought he had a chance with her.

I am definitely *not* team OP either here.

DaniJuly 6th, 2012 at 5:02 pm

So many bad dates can be avoided if people were just straight forward. If you aren’t attracted to someone you don’t have to pretend to be. It’s better to turn someone down for a date than accept because you don’t want to seem shallow. You went on three dates with him and didn’t like him for any of them. It’s your own fault.

FlowerJuly 6th, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Your goal was to go to the ball. You may have been “his worst date ever,”

Call 911July 6th, 2012 at 9:01 pm

Having dated a few Marines (it’s SoCal, they’re everywhere) I can say that a lot of them won’t give you suggestions about stuff to do because they don’t know what there IS to do. They might be stationed in California but the majority of them are from somewhere else and since they live in barracks and some don’t have cars, they don’t really get out much…especially if they’re under 21 so they don’t go out to the bars with other Marines. Not to mention, after working really long shifts all week, when it comes time for their days off, they don’t really want to do a whole lot other than veg. One of my exes was like that and it became a bit of a point of contention because I would drive an hour to see him on base and he’d just want to sit in his room, watch TV, and eat pizza all weekend, lol.

Anyway, other than that I have to agree with the other posters…for someone who claims not to be a prude, you sure sound like one. I also don’t have a lot of sympathy for someone who expected “Rong” to be some kind of a mind reader about how you felt since you don’t seem to have ever actually SAID anything to him about what was going on.

Bananas in PyjamasJuly 6th, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Hi OP,

In these situations, you simply have to be vocal. The sad truth is that you are at fault for not telling a guy who liked you/was horny that you didnt fancy him and were not an affectionate person. Really, you just have to be upfront about it. It’s something a lot of girls tend not to do for fear of coming across as rude, prudish or killjoys but you have to protect ur boundaries and also give the other party a chance to save face. I know the commenters give you stick but it’s way too common and I’m sure a lot of them have been guilty of it too. I don’t know how old u are/were in the story but try to get assertive with these things. It’ll serve you well!

Anyway, lesson learned. I don’t think Rong was a superstar either, but he was harmless and granted his position in the forces (and probably undergoing lots of periods without sex) his behaviour especially with regards to wanting laid should not come as a surprise.

@cupkate: i don’t think it’s high maintenance to expect the person ur travelling to see to make date plans. If anything, for them to expect u to be the one to always make plans is pretty rude.

KatyJuly 7th, 2012 at 11:20 am

Wow, what a long story. Wish I could’ve gone straight to the comments so I could’ve gotten the gist of the story.

DevJuly 7th, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Honestly, it just sounds like OP wanted to have the distinction of going to the Marine Ball.

mjammaJuly 7th, 2012 at 9:00 pm

It sounds to me as if the girl was just trying to do the poor guy a favor and go to the ball with him because he didn’t have anyone else to go with. He was a douche for refusing to talk and taking her home very shortly after the rebuked sexual advances. He misled the girl and was pissed because he didn’t get free sex.
I’d call that a bad date!

JeffJuly 7th, 2012 at 9:54 pm

While any man who tries to pressure a woman into going further with him than she is comfortable is a loser, I have to agree with the majority above that OP is at least partly responsible for setting up a bad situation for herself. If you find someone so physically repulsive that you would NEVER kiss them, you really shouldn’t be dating them.

MaxxyJuly 7th, 2012 at 9:54 pm

OP lost me somewhere between her extreme aversion to holding hands and her being mortified at getting kissed in public. If she doesn’t like to touch men at all, what is it about dancing that she finds acceptable? Did she think that a Marine Ball would only involve the Twist and the Watusi?

MadhattieJuly 8th, 2012 at 11:11 am

So OP, you agreed to kiss Rong when some stranger with a camera in his hand asked you to do so. Did you ever tell the poor guy that you only kiss when a camera is involved?

Of course he went to far with the pressure he put on you to spend the night with him in a hotel, but the kiss- you kissed him once, supposedly without desinfecting your mouth afterwards in front of his eyes, so how could he guess you wouldn’t kiss him again.

sisiJuly 8th, 2012 at 8:31 pm

I agree with OP………end of story

cupkateJuly 9th, 2012 at 9:24 am

@drinky I don’t recall anything about him having bad breath, just jacked teeth. I’m not saying I don’t prefer nice teeth, just that it definitely wouldn’t be a complete deal breaker if a guy didn’t have a nice set of pearly whites. As for date plans it would have been nice but guys are clueless so there was no need to be super pissed about it. Not on any team here, they’re both idiots.

EukaryoteJuly 17th, 2012 at 1:27 am

Mediocre story. Both parties in the wrong, that’s about it.
Best part about this? The comments.

Jasmine CountoureJuly 20th, 2012 at 1:59 pm

AWESOME ID.. you are the most awful person I have ever encountered. You are a complete b****. Shame on you for saying hes going to get shot in Afghanistan. I’m a Navy Corpsman serving with Marines and my husband is a Marine. SCREW YOU and your disgusting personality and your ugly nasty, selfish heart for saying such cruel things. You know what we call slut and hoebags like you that Marines bring to the ball.. NASTY PIECE OF SHIT HOOKERS..and we ALL KNOW WHO THEY ARE when they walk in. In fact, we sit there and talk about you the whole entire time, little to your knowledge. Let me tell you something HOE, karma is REAL and yea, that Marine may have not had the perfect teeth, I’M PRETTY DAMN SURE YOU ARE FAR FROM IT YOURSELF and when you do find yourself a man I’m pretty sure Karma will come back for you dumbass. LET ME EVER SEE YOU OR MEET YOU. I WILL WOOP YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU’LL BE IN THERAPY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE for being retarded, but I see thats not necessary because you’re already there.

adminJuly 20th, 2012 at 3:00 pm

@Jasmine Countoure I tried emailing you privately with the address you left, but it bounced back. We feel with 100% certainty that the comment you are referring to was complete sarcasm. They were essentially putting down the OP not actually saying they thought or hoped he would get shot. We have the utmost respect for the US Military and would never have left the comment on the site had we thought it was dead serious. If you reread it with a sarcastic tone you will probably realize the same.

AnderlieJuly 22nd, 2012 at 10:43 pm

Sooo… the crazy Navy Corpsman up there can spout all sorts of derogatory insults and threats but because she’s supposedly a navy corpsman she can get away with it? Come on now, there’s being respectful to soldiers and then there’s pandering.

Blackwater HattieSeptember 25th, 2012 at 1:56 pm

A hoe is an ancient and versatile agricultural tool used to move small amounts of soil. WHY CAN’T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT?

Leave a comment
Your comment