Good Times Had By All

So I have been going through a bit of a dating slump, having just moved back home from the big city, and decided yesterday to post an ad on (insert cringe here) Craigslist.  I can honestly say that I wasn’t looking for anything serious because I’m about to go back to school and don’t feel like being tied down or having to answer to anyone.

This is where I met “T.” He sent me a short, quirky email and I was intrigued. We exchanged numbers and started texting each other. T was funny and expressed repeatedly his desire to meet up and hang out. I played coy but was excited to meet up with him as well. He was slightly evasive about his home life but brazenly honest about other things (having three kids, being cheated on, his crazy ex who couldn’t hold her emotional state together etc. etc.). I didn’t see any real red flags.

Today, we figured we should just meet up to say hi and see how things would go. He told me to meet him at a local park, which was fine because there would be people around and if he got too crazy, then I had a better chance of escaping. When I got to the park, I texted him to see where he was at only to have him text me back that he was at one of the local bars. Irritated but not sensible enough to go back home, I headed over to the bar.

When I walked up, he was out front with a few others, one of whom I got a weird vibe from. I just brushed it off as being nervous or that she might be the overprotective friend. He later told me that she was his sister and that she was slightly intoxicated, so I figured that she was most likely the overprotective sister. No, it wasn’t that either. Turns out that she dislikes Asians due to the outstanding impression her grandfather (a Vietnam vet) and her grandmother (against Asians due to the Vietnam war her husband endured). Did I mention that I am Korean?

Nonetheless, T and I still hit it off. He said that he had always been attracted to Asian women and that their prejudice made no never mind to him. We chatted for a bit longer then his racist sister dragged him off to another of their sister’s birthday party.
I went home and T started texting me again, asking if I could come back downtown to hang out a little more. I drove back and sat on a bench and just talked with him about his kids and about how he lives with his grandmother to take care of her. I am a CNA so I know how much work taking care of someone can be. I commended him on being so selfless and asked if he wanted to walk around a little. He took my hand and told me some jokes to make me laugh. We flirted and kissed a few times before his grandmother called him to ask where he was and if he could come home. She required his assistance. So we called it a night and made promises to see each other soon.
Fully expecting to hear from T before bedtime, I put my phone on the charger while I brushed my teeth. When I came back, I saw that I had missed a few calls from an unknown number. As I was wondering who could be calling this late, my phone rang again and when I answered, a very shrill voice began screeching in my ear. Apparently, it was T’s girlfriend. She wanted to know what we had done and if we had f***ed. I was taken aback but was able to answer very firmly that I had indeed not f***ed him and that I had no idea he had a girl. She sobbed that she figured I didn’t know anything and that he was a bastard. Then she hung up.
I stared at my phone and when T texted me a few hours later, I thought of Jack Nicholson from “As Good As It Gets”….
“Go sell crazy somewhere else! We’re all stocked up here!”
July 12th, 2012 in Family F-Ups, Match Made In Confusion, WTF?
Comments (13)
WenchJuly 12th, 2012 at 4:21 am

Wow. The cheaters always leave me speechless. Did he really think he would get away with this? Sounds like you were lucky you found out in time OP. I just feel sorry for the girlfriend.

SynnoveJuly 12th, 2012 at 5:47 am

Anyone who talks about how “crazy” their ex is…. that’s a red flag, just for future information.

Decent guys who legitimately get out of a bad relationship with someone who’s really emotionally unstable generally try not to to talk about it or disparage her.

Guys who talk about their “crazy” ex is… usually the “crazy” things she does include not being okay with being cheated on, standing up for her personal autonomy, having male friends (since he assumes she must be as much of a cheating ass as he is), etc.

When a guy says, especially early on, that he has a “crazy” ex… RUN.

Queen of NothingJuly 12th, 2012 at 6:09 am

Totally with Synnove on that one.
Decent guys don’t talk about past relationships in detail with a woman they just met.

I am curious how this girlfriend got your number though. Gives the impression his cheating was not news to her.

NattieJuly 12th, 2012 at 6:10 am

Synnove makes a good point. Decent guys typically know not to criticize their ex… before the first date.

A thought, though – any chance that the crying girl on the phone was not infact T’s girlfriend but T’s racist sister? If she wanted to get rid of you, that would have been an excellent way to do it.

LiLoJuly 12th, 2012 at 6:19 am

Or here’s a twist…the ex really is crazy and called OP because she doesn’t like the idea of T moving on…eh?

AlonzoJuly 12th, 2012 at 7:09 am

either ways folk, TOO MUCH DRAMA! Say a prayer of thanksgiving and move on!

JeffJuly 12th, 2012 at 7:22 am

I met this girl once, we flirted and kissed but that’s about as far as it went. We talked about making plans to see each other again as we lived in different cities. Then I got a strange email from her. Apparently, some female relative of her ex hacked into her email account and emailed me thinking I was sleeping with her, to tell me that she is still married to her ex.

Needless to say I bailed – whether it was true or not, I didn’t need that kind of drama. She ended up getting remarried to someone else I knew.

JayJuly 12th, 2012 at 7:40 am

“He was slightly evasive about his home life but brazenly honest about other things (having three kids, being cheated on, his crazy ex who couldn’t hold her emotional state together etc. etc.). I didn’t see any real red flags.”

LOL. Consider having your eyes checked for color blindness.

Do you actually know that the crazy girl on the phone was his girlfriend, and not his ex or his sister? Not that that means you should still date the guy.. just curious.

reviewJuly 12th, 2012 at 9:54 am

Koreans and their Parks.

DeeJuly 12th, 2012 at 10:23 am

Oh review, you’re hirarious!

LouwiiJuly 12th, 2012 at 1:07 pm

Best answer i ever saw to “did you guys f**ked?” was: “Hmm, does it count in the butt?”. Use it next time, then come here and tell us about it :D

BackwoodsJuly 12th, 2012 at 4:19 pm

Synnove beat us all to it. I’d just add that in my experience, the one claiming to have the ‘crazy ex’ is invariably the one who actually IS the crazy ex.

JessieJuly 12th, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Or sent all their exes crazy.

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