Bad Pickup Lines
I had just moved back into town from being gone for the summer and a few of my girlfriends took me out to a club. This is where I met D. I was waiting for my friend outside the bathroom and he was doing the same. We got to talking because neither of us really enjoyed the club we were at (it was really dirty and smelly; more so than normal clubs). We hit it off and exchanged numbers.
D and I went on one date, a walk through the park, and got to know each other. He seemed like a really nice guy and ended the night with a simple kiss. After that we texted a bit and he invited me over to his place for a second date – My Very Worst Date.
We started watching “The Last House on the Left” and he told me he loved the movie because of the terrible rape scene in it, and that he loved to root for the villain in movies because no one ever does. I didn’t take this as a warning sign, just kind of thought he was kind of strange. As the night progressed we started making out. He wanted to go to his bedroom but I declined as I had barely got to know this guy. D kept asking to go to the bedroom saying we didn’t have to do anything, just cuddle. I refused again and he looked at me, smiling, and said “You’re just too irresistible, I may just have to rape you!”
With that I pushed him off me and gathered up my things. He seemed confused at my reaction and kept saying he was only joking. “Rape isn’t something you joke about – ever!” I retorted as I headed toward the door. He called me a tease but didn’t stop me from leaving.
Upon trying to leave I saw that his sister had parked her car behind mine, preventing me from leaving. Seeing him grinning in the doorway I simply put my car in reverse and backed out across his lawn – that got rid of his smirk quickly!
I never heard from D after that except for one time: on Christmas day, I got a text message from him wishing me a “Merry F***ing Christmas.” Good riddance, Mr. Grinch!
