My Very Worst Rejection

MVWD didn’t even get to the D part.

Luke and I worked in the university’s catering service as bartenders.  Back then, I wanted to “take the initiative” and not wait around for a guy to ask me out. He’d broken up with his girlfriend about four months before, so I figured why not?

I called Luke, and we talked for over an hour.  During that call, I told him I really liked him.  He seemed pleased, but now that I think about it who knows.  I asked Luke to a late movie and then dinner. He said yes.

The next day at work, we were setting up an event that had two bars with two bartenders each. Since I liked Luke, I worked where he was.  I asked, “Are you looking forward to our date later?”

He said something I’ll never forget:  “Wait. A date? Like a date date? You and me? A date? On a date? Umm…no. This is not a date. No. Not a date. Not a date at all. This is so not a date. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not a date. We’re getting together as friends so it’s SO not a date. Not a date at all. It can’t be. No. This is definitely not a date.”  He vigorously shook his head the whole time he talked.

I stared at Luke. When he was done talking, I didn’t say anything.  I turned around and went to the other bar where I asked another bartender to trade with me for the rest of the night.

As for the “date,” I never showed up, and I never spoke to Luke again. Although we did work together, no words were exchanged.  I graduated college and left town soon after.  If he’d just cleared up the confusion in a nice way, I would have gone to the movie with him.  Not only was I hurt by his response, but I didn’t want to be around someone who acted like going to a movie with me was equivalent to being thrown in a vat of acid.

Part of me likes to think that Luke is still waiting in front of the movie theater for me. Eh…probably not.

Comments (28)
AudaxJuly 26th, 2012 at 5:53 am

C’est la Vie!

NattieJuly 26th, 2012 at 6:05 am

Wow, he didn’t have to be that mean about it.

This is one gender-roles tradition that I wish would never have changed. I’d much rather be the askee than the asker – never have to worry about stuff like this!

etJuly 26th, 2012 at 6:38 am

Isn’t this a repeat or am I losing my mind

LythandeJuly 26th, 2012 at 6:45 am

I think someone related this in the comments sometime last week. So not *technically* a repeat…

etJuly 26th, 2012 at 7:02 am

Ooo yeah. Thanks lythande

BeckZombieJuly 26th, 2012 at 8:00 am

Was it a comment? Maybe. I’ve definitely read this before…

CJCarvilleJuly 26th, 2012 at 8:35 am

OP here! Yes I left it as a comment to another MVWD because it triggered the memory. I added some more details (yes his name is real!) and submitted. Believe me…I can think of other things to submit but not in the comments section!

tronnerJuly 26th, 2012 at 9:12 am

I loved this story!

blondieJuly 26th, 2012 at 9:20 am

I have an urge to punch this guy in the nuts.

SportyGuyJuly 26th, 2012 at 9:30 am

Geez, a simple ” We have a little communication problem here” would have done it. I couldn’t imagine what this guy’s problem was, she couldn’t have been that bad

?July 26th, 2012 at 11:38 am

Haha! I recall reading this in the comments! It deserved it’s own entry and I appreciate the appropriate title! This was great and sorry Luke turned out to be a bum dude!

?July 26th, 2012 at 11:38 am

Haha! I recall reading this in the comments! It deserved it’s own entry and I appreciate the appropriate title! This was great and sorry things with Luke turned out to be a bit of a bummer.

Elly-RoseJuly 26th, 2012 at 11:41 am

It took me a minute to realise I’d already read this, lol. I couldn’t figure out why it was so familiar. This is short and even though it’s not a date, it’s still one of the better stories on here.

maoJuly 26th, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Wow, guy is a total jerk. Even if he was surprised, what SportyGuy said would’ve been good enough.

Reminds me of the How I Met Your Mother Episode though, “No! No no no no no! How could you do this to me? No! No no no!”

JeffJuly 26th, 2012 at 7:17 pm

It’s one thing to get rejected. It’s quite another to be rejected in a rude and insulting way. There’s no excuse for the way he treated you here.

Personally, if I ask a woman out and she’s not interested, the easiest thing is for her to just say she has a boyfriend. Then at least I feel like I might have had a shot, otherwise.

However, in a situation like this where the two people know each other well, the best thing is to just be honest but also be sensitive to the person’s feelings.

WenchJuly 26th, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Why am i reminded of Dustin Hoffman in Rainman? Definitely not a date, definitely not a date, no, no, definitely not a date…..

RavenJuly 27th, 2012 at 5:45 am

Jeff – why should a woman have to lie in order for you to not keep your hopes up? “Sorry Jeff, but I’m not interested” should suffice. Nothing in that statement should lead you to think you have a shot. It’s that sort of dishonest nonsense that leads to much of the stupidity we see on this site.

NattieJuly 27th, 2012 at 9:41 am

I thought Jeff meant that it would be the kindest to his ego, which isn’t necessary but still a nice thing to do.

LJuly 27th, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Lol @ Wench!

MaryJuly 27th, 2012 at 4:28 pm

lol at wench too!

KatJuly 27th, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Yeah, that sucks. I’ve had similar experiences. Men complain that they’re tired of always calling the shots, but every time I’ve tried to ask a guy out I’ve been viciously rejected, and this is based on a fair sample of population. But I don’t give up. Though seriously, its akin to the time I introduced myself to a guy and ahe looked horror struck and said “ew… No. Oh my god.”

JeffJuly 28th, 2012 at 1:30 pm

@Raven – Are you serious? No woman ever just says, “Sorry, I’m not interested.” That would be fine but it never occurs in the real world.

JayceJuly 29th, 2012 at 8:39 am

I always say “sorry, I’m not interested” even when I’m turning down delicious free samples of cookies they have at the supermarket from time to time.

TulipJuly 29th, 2012 at 9:39 pm

Wow. I’m sorry OP. I’ve been in that boat before…well, a similar boat. I’ve had four guys tell me that they “liked me but didn’t want to date me”. And when they said “like”, they meant it in the fourth grade “like like” way.
Maybe that’s why I recently realized I’m actually a lesbian…hmmm…

RavenJuly 30th, 2012 at 7:51 am

@Jeff – maybe they would if you took them at their word. No one likes a stalker.

SynnoveJuly 31st, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Jeff, when a girl gives the “I have a boyfriend” or “I’m not dating right now” excuse, that just leaves the chance that the guy will bug her about it until she’s “single” again.

David in SeattleJuly 31st, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Some inexperienced men connect romantic involvement with the word “date” that is difficult to break. There are dates where you just want to make a friend, get to know somebody better, or have a good time without being alone. Those are dates.

Then there are dates where you want to build the foundation of a committed, romantic relationship. Those are dates–the kind the man in your story feared.

massageonAugust 7th, 2012 at 7:01 am

*Ouch* That’s a blow to the ol’ self esteem

Leave a comment
Your comment