Dental Disaster

I met MVWD online. I checked out M’s profile and he seemed nice enough. Looks-wise he was an average looking, but fairly attractive guy, so we talked. We talked for a week and he seemed like an educated man who was knowledgeable on social issues and the like. I figured a cute, nice, not shallow man was good enough for me. A day before we meet he mentions that he’s not into “chicks with missing teeth.” I was confused because I had all of my pearly whites plus we weren’t talking about looks at that moment. I brushed if off and we met.

We had decided to meet in front of a landmark building in my city. I’m waiting there, and about 20 minutes after our time to meet, M shows up.

1. He said on his profile that he was 5’10. He was more like 5’5.

2. I’m 5’7.

3. As soon as he says hello, I notice….he has two missing teeth. I don’t know how I missed this from his pictures online.

Now I try to be down to earth and not shallow, but I was shocked. Obviously uncomfortable, M tried to bring up random topics as we found a place to eat. I continued to engage him and laugh at his jokes.

The whole time he babbled on about how he just got out of jail three months ago for a dispute with his ex girlfriend and how he didn’t want to be a father in the first place but she “got him good.” (Huh?) All throughout eating he kept criticizing that I wasn’t eating enough food. When I said I wasn’t too hungry, he said “Yeah, of course not. Look at you!” I’m really not that thin so I’m not sure why he said that. He kept shaking his legs under the table, causing a vibration, and people kept staring. It was so awkward that I pretended to have a headache and said I’d hop on a train home.

As he walked me to the subway, he kept putting his left hand on my behind (it was summer and I was wearing short shorts) and I kept removing it. Once there, he tried to kiss me but I gave him a hug and ran down the steps. These days I’m over online dating.

Comments (19)
baronvonfancypantsAugust 8th, 2012 at 8:19 am

How is one “average looking, but fairly attractive”?… and then “cute”?

reviewAugust 8th, 2012 at 8:30 am

She’s a woman, she can’t make up her mind. It’s because of all those hormones, she can’t help it.

NGAugust 8th, 2012 at 8:31 am

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, baronvonfancypants! May be as the OP got to like M better during their early communications, he was transformed in her eyes.

As for the teeth, unless the OP did some video-chatting, it was unlikely to discover that M had some missing ones. There are ways to smile without showing teeth. And may be M lost those teeth in jail, after he had taken his profile photos.

NattieAugust 8th, 2012 at 8:59 am

Yeah, I’d have more problems with a “in jail for a domestic dispute with an ex” than missing teeth… though missing teeth is hardly a turn-on.

AudaxAugust 8th, 2012 at 9:13 am

He lied on his profile! where’s the tag!

@review: Nice attitude. Sexism is a sure-fire path to happiness! /sarcasm

KCAugust 8th, 2012 at 9:13 am

Gotta love those liars! And what does “got him good” mean?

reviewAugust 8th, 2012 at 9:59 am

@Audax: There should be a sarcasm tag for this story too then, given that the second comment here was being sarcastic.

@baronvonfancypants: The OP is not Final Arbiter of Appearances, unfortunately, so we shouldn’t get bent out of shape that she can change her opinions.

CatherineAugust 8th, 2012 at 11:13 am

I have noticed that a lot of guys do not show there teeth on these online dating sites. I dated two guys that did not post pictures of them showing teeth. I went out with them one guy a couple of times he had a great personality but his teeth were yellow from smoking and all over the place. He must have been in pain because he would never finish all of his food. The second guy again really sweet and had beautiful blue eyes but his teeth were just horrible at least they were white. I don’t feel that wanting a guy with nice teeth and fresh breath is being superficial. They don’t have to be perfect I love Michael Strahan’s smile. Just healthy looking. I keep telling my boys to take care of their teeth because no girls want to kiss a guy with bad breath or teeth.

McDivaAugust 8th, 2012 at 11:29 am

The picture at the top of this story is going to give me nightmares.

JayAugust 8th, 2012 at 11:37 am

” how he didn’t want to be a father in the first place but she “got him good.” (Huh?) ”

What part of that was confusing? He has a kid he doesn’t want.

66SickAugust 8th, 2012 at 12:14 pm

And then Jay, the voice of DUH YOU GUYS, stepped in to save the day.

Duh, you guys.

JeffAugust 8th, 2012 at 3:46 pm

I do not understand why such a large percentage of men lie about their height, and not just in a dating context. Even the published heights of shorter athletes are usually exaggerated. I am 5′ 8″ and no one believes me when I tell them that. They think I’m taller because they are used to guys adding an inch by counting the height of their shoes.

I also do not understand why such a large percentage of women automatically reduce their chances of finding a good guy by ruling out anyone who isn’t at least four inches taller than they are (“so I can wear heels”.)

MeshellAugust 8th, 2012 at 4:10 pm

@Review – Obviously you are being serious. The internet is srs bidniz, yo.

@Jeff – I am curious where you found your statistics. Personally, my research has led me to believe that good ol’ fashion patriarchy is to blame (mens are bigs and strongs while womens are alllll petite and cute, tee hee).

JillAugust 8th, 2012 at 7:18 pm

My brother lost his 4 front teeth in a barfight (an entire freaking year ago!), but still managed to find himself a girlfriend who was very sweet to him. I suppose everyone has their own boundaries.

Maggie MayAugust 9th, 2012 at 5:35 am

I don’t get why he would throw out that comment about not dating women without teeth. Was he trying to be funny? To break the ice for when he meets his date and she sees that he himself is missing teeth? Or maybe it’s a last attempt to filter out incompatible dates – if the OP had responded, “That’s cool, I don’t date dudes with missing teeth” the entire date could have been avoided.

baronvonfancypantsAugust 9th, 2012 at 8:25 am

Review- “change her opinions”… in the same sentence?

NG- I think eye see. As you say, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. As such, one can infer that she had something in (or over) one eye (rendering one beauty receptor ineffectual), halving said “beauty”. Thus, average. As the item was removed from the receptor (eye), the full beauty of Mr. Man revealed itself.

NattieAugust 9th, 2012 at 12:53 pm

@Baron: LOL!
@Meshell & Jeff: before the term “patriarchy” was ever used, women were attracted to men who looked like they were capable of protecting them, while men were attracted to women who looked like they could bear many healthy babies. “Tall” is one of those “he can protect me” factors.
Then, we made weapons so physical strength became slightly less important, and we developed our society so less (physical, anyway) protection was needed. However, it’s hard to undo thousands and thousands of years of evolution…and patriarchy certainly hasn’t helped (and why do we have to wear 4-inch heels?)

JeffAugust 10th, 2012 at 2:43 am

@Nattie – I didn’t say I faulted women for being attracted to tall guys. I am attracted to supermodels, but I don’t insist on dating them exclusively. When you’re 5’2″ and you’ll only date guys who are over 6 feet tall, it’s kind of ridiculous.

SpotAugust 14th, 2012 at 7:12 am

Some women, Jeff, simply choose to work through their Daddy issues in public.

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