Luckily, this story is way shorter than it could have been.
I was going through the checkout line at my local grocery store when I saw this incredibly beautiful girl walk out. Immediately, I decided to take a risk and ask her out. The problem, of course, was that I still had all the groceries, and by the time I got out of the store, she was nowhere to be found.
I’d never asked a pure stranger out like that before, at least outside of a party context. I generally think it’s pretty rude to interrupt someone going about their business just because you want to insert yourself into their life. But she was so gorgeous that I was going to get over all that, man up, and do it.
So I run out of the store (well, more like briskly walk, because I had a carton of eggs, and also generally people are freaked out if you run up to them on the street and try to talk to them), and I saw her going the same direction as my apartment. I started hurrying to try to catch up with her, but also trying to not be a huge creep, and act natural, relax, try to calm my nerves. I was maybe ten feet away, just about ready to say “excuse me…” try to act like I haven’t been following her for two or three blocks, be sufficiently complimentary, ask if she’d be interested in coffee, when she instantly did something that changed my mind.
I know how petty that sounds, but trust me: this was the most blatant, disrespectful act of littering I’d ever seen. She had, I think, some sort of ice cream bar, or maybe potato chips, with a big, crinkly wrapper, which she then took in her right hand and – I kid you not – skyhooked it into a fenced-off construction area. Like, full-on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar hook shot. It was a caricature of littering, like if someone were making a bad 90s-style PSA movie about littering – this is the shot they’d use. I couldn’t believe it. I actually laughed out loud and walked the other direction, away from my apartment, to get away from her, and immediately texted all my guy friends about it.
I have yet to ask a stranger out in public.