It’s All Relative
I was 16 and in high school. My best friend started dating a guy from a nearby town. They thought it would be awesome if I dated his best friend. I didn’t have much experience with dating, and having low self-esteem, thought this set-up sounded good. So I was introduced to J. He was dumb as bricks, but nice, and very interested in me!
A week or so of dating him later, we decided to see a movie. My mom invited herself and drove us. She asked about J’s parents. Since we’re both from small towns, everyone knows everyone. I could see the wheels turning in her head as he talked about his family…
J and I made out through most of the movie, breaking apart only to see my mom gawking at us from the front row. On the drive home, she started talking about his parents, going on about who’s who. “That would make you a <lastname>! We’re RELATED!” I was so shocked, I couldn’t say anything. I thought about it and realized I never knew his last name!
I then took him home in my mom’s car and he invited me in. Out of niceness, I complied. He sat on the couch and beckoned me to join him. He put his arm around me and moved in for a kiss. I dodged him, thinking “really? we just found out we’re cousins!” He obviously didn’t care. “We have the house to ourselves.” he mumbled, and pulled out a condom. We had only ever kissed, so I don’t know why he thought this was the time to try and get laid. I quickly broke it off with him. He looked into my eyes asked me sadly, “is it because we’re related?”
The moral? Know their last name!