Drone In Foam

It was Friday night and my college was hosting a Foam Dance Party. My friend Kay and I decided to go and of course, first we got tipsy.

The concept of it was that the college rented an  inflatable dance floor with five-foot walls and a foam machine. People were dancing in the suds that came up to your waist and Kay was whipping out her awesome dance moves. A little while in, it turned out she had underestimated her alcohol intake and I had to keep saving her from guys who took that as an incentive to molest her – I mean, dance with her.

At one point, a guy came up to me and asked me to dance and I agreed. It was a party, after all, and in between rescuing Kay, I’d been dancing with other dudes, so I agreed. Unfortunately, this guy was not drunk or tipsy. That’s normally not a problem, except he was also extremely awkward. While dancing, he decided to strike up a conversation – about genetically modified organisms. Yeah, my clothes were soaked with foam, Beyonce was belting out her sweet serenade and I was listening to this guy go on about GMOs.

That would have been fine, because Kay needed me again and I escaped, except he later friended me on Facebook. He tried chatting with me via the internet, but I had to stop responding after the second or third conversation. He did that thing where you ask someone out without actually doing it – you know, let’s “hang out” instead of “go out.” The second time, he wanted to take me to a bar. His insistence went over the line when he stopped sounding like, “It’ll be chill and I’ll even be DD,” and started sounding more like “You should get totally wasted while I stay completely sober and drive you around.” I played sick.

For a guy who wouldn’t drink, he sure didn’t mind when the ladies did!

September 20th, 2012 in Drunk and Disorderly, Just Plain Pathetic, WTF? | tags: , , , ,
Comments (26)
AudaxSeptember 20th, 2012 at 8:00 am

See, this is why we should talk like pirates. He’d say “Arrr! I’m interested in Rum and Booty!” and then you could respond with “”Arrr! you’ll not be boarding my ship anytime soon!”

LSeptember 20th, 2012 at 8:17 am

Once again, where’s the “date”?
Also, I guess you’ve realized by now why a guy would want to stay sober while the “lady” got wasted.
Now the foam party–that sounded awesome!

EllereSeptember 20th, 2012 at 8:29 am

This was all worth it for Audax’s comment.

rubySeptember 20th, 2012 at 9:34 am

Eh, maybe he was a mormon…

ChelsSeptember 20th, 2012 at 10:19 am

Great stereotype, ruby. *yawn*

Thanks, OP, for the post. Foam parties sound lame at first, but they’re pretty fun. Sounds like you may have dodged a bullet.

rubySeptember 20th, 2012 at 10:32 am

What stereotype? She judged him for not drinking, maybe there was a good reason. Maybe he jsut seemed awkward and boring because she had prejudged him. Has happened to me on many,many occasions. As well as the DD thing. When you don’y drink, you get volunteered.
All in all, this non date seemed pretty benign. But I do love me a foam party…

NattieSeptember 20th, 2012 at 10:56 am

Hard to say whether he’s awkward, creepy, or both.

sea hagSeptember 20th, 2012 at 10:56 am

booooring! I went to one foam party, and that was in my pre-fake id days. Lots of slippery, shirtless guys. It was great.

AudaxSeptember 20th, 2012 at 11:22 am

@ Ellere: Aye! I be feeling the love!

Dr. CheeseSeptember 20th, 2012 at 2:15 pm

This wasn’t a date… Beyond that, I don’t get how the guy was creepy; yes talking about GMO’s might not be the best ice breaker, but maybe the guy was smart.

Herp derpSeptember 20th, 2012 at 2:21 pm

Yeah what the heck was this? “Oh no some awkward guy danced with me and then messaged me on facebook, aaaah.”
That is all I got from this. If you don’t want to date a guy, TELL HIM. How hard is that?

NoishSeptember 20th, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Audax, I put on my robe and my wizard hat.

JeffSeptember 20th, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Time to change the name of the site to “My Very Lamest Non-Date”.

EmveeSeptember 20th, 2012 at 6:43 pm

I do think it’s creepy he wanted to take you out on a date where you got drunk and he was the dd… and perhaps if that date had happened you’d have a great story to post here!

CatsSeptember 21st, 2012 at 3:33 am

Wahay shirtless young men! Yus pluz.

EmSeptember 21st, 2012 at 5:06 am

@Noish, ha! Maybe he required Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite

AudaxSeptember 21st, 2012 at 5:15 am

@Noish: “I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid. ”

That cracks me up every time. But I actually wasn’t copying from “bloodninja” or …whoever (there seems to be some discussion about who did what first)…

I just enjoy absurd situations.

RattusSeptember 21st, 2012 at 6:02 am

I don’t know if it’s because I’m old, because I’m boring, or because I don’t like doing either the dishes or the laundry, but a foam party just sounds annoying to me, particularly when you throw in the bad music. A discussion about GMOs, on the other hand – that I could get into.

NattieSeptember 21st, 2012 at 9:04 am

I’m with Rattus, but maybe it’s because where I’m from only the sketchiest clubs in the worst areas have foam parties (essentially so people can have sex in relative privacy on the dancefloor) so…

AudaxSeptember 21st, 2012 at 12:11 pm

I respectfully disagree, Nattie. It’s hard to breathe in foam and it’s not fun in the eyes. And then there’s the people stepping on you and the danger of getting skewered by a peg-leg….

JeffSeptember 21st, 2012 at 3:58 pm

I attended a foam party at a Caribbean resort once. It makes more sense when everyone is wearing bathing suits anyway, and it was outdoors which made for easy cleanup and better visibility/safety. I was young then and we were all drunk as skunks. There was a lot of slithering and groping but no actual sex that I was aware of. It was pretty harmless really.

NattieSeptember 21st, 2012 at 4:22 pm

@Audax: I’m sure foam parties are different in different cities. It definitely does sound better when you’re wearing bathing suits.

MerpSeptember 21st, 2012 at 7:17 pm

I cackled out loud when I thought about a guy approaching a girl at a foam party and talking about genetically modified corn.

Come on people, “maybe the guy was smart?” There are places for intelligent discourse but I’m pretty sure foam parties (or most college parties) are not on that list. Maybe the OP is smart too.

He just sounds like an awkward dude. The kind of guy who would go to a party sober and try to pick up drunk girls by offering to be their DD. Not drinking is fine, but hovering around the drunk girls at a party is predatory behavior 101. In this case he didn’t sound particularly predatory – just awkward and probably thinks he’s a very ‘nice’ guy – but you never know right? Either way, the OP most likely dodged a bullet.

JeffSeptember 22nd, 2012 at 3:56 pm

@Merp – “hovering around the drunk girls at a party is predatory behavior 101. ”

I agree. And maybe there would be less guys that engage in such behavior if drunk girls didn’t keep hooking up with them.

KelsSeptember 23rd, 2012 at 10:32 pm

Sigh…apparently I’ve become permently perverted by this site. It was just early enough when I read this story that the first time through, I might have read “Genetically Modified Organisms” as “Genetically Modified Orgasims.” However this did make the story a bit funnier :)

Beef TitsMarch 14th, 2013 at 11:40 am

This whole story sucked, other then the fact that he started an awkward conversation on a subject most women wouldnt find interesting (but of course everything women talk about men have to find interesting, like shoes), he basically did nothing else abnormally strange. “Hang out” instead of “go out” oh wow, get a restraining order. How is not drinking strange at all? Maybe he just doesnt like it and its not a pre-requisite to dating or going to a club, I know plenty who drink barely at all or not at all and still go to bars. OP you sound like a bitch.

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