The Exchange Rate
Earlier this year I went of a few dates with a Brazilian guy I met on the internet who seemed perfectly lovely and charming. On our first date we went to a really trendy place in Melbourne and shared a gourmet pizza and wine, which I drank most of. Despite this he paid for everything and I was very impressed! I even gave him a kiss when I walked him to his nearby apartment.
The second date didn’t go so well. We met at a pub and at some point during the conversation he decreed that I should never be allowed to add him on Facebook. I asked him why and he told me it was because I would find out his real age. He was 29, I’m 19. Sure I was a little shocked! I went with the flow regardless and ended up in his apartment. He offered to cook me some noodles.
Ramen! I ate the noodles quite happily and watched a film with him on the futon (Hard Candy, which kind of froze the atmosphere over). His apartment was open plan and he had two roommates, but that (and the disturbing nature of that movie!) didn’t stop him from groping me and pressing himself on me. I informed him that I wasn’t in the mood to have sex and he responded with, “But I made you noodles!”
I was almost speechless, but I did manage to tell him, “Wow, dude. If I was a prostitute you just paid me sixty-four cents.” He just laughed and continued to feel me up. Woooooo.
Naively I did see him a few more times. Another thing that he said that sticks out in my mind is, “Why do Australians wear such huge underwears?”