Footwear Fail

What a waste of a babysitter! Ugh. Those shoes are the worst. As a fairly shy person, I’d be mortified if I had to sit beside someone being so loud in a movie. At least you get to cross out some squares of your Overly Defensive Omnivore bingo card.

So you’re faulting him for judging you based on your diet, and yet you make a huge issue out of his choice of shoes?

People have different taste. Yours is not the only valid opinion when it comes to shoes or anything else.

It sounds like an unpleasant date, but you sound like a judgmental douche.

JGirl – she might have been judging him for his shoes, but at least she kept it to herself. Being attacked at the table for your choice of food is rude. OP’s date sounds arrogant. Telling someone about their diet is poor manners.

Raven, I’ve been there. I was a vegetarian (ovo-lacto) for nearly a decade, so I got it from both sides. The meat eaters gave me crap for not eating meat. The vegans gave me crap for not being vegan.

I doubt she actually kept her opinion to herself. She may not have *said* anything out loud about the shoes, but her behavior almost certainly communicated that she was judging him for *something*.

Talking in the theatre, however, is pretty unforgivable. If she’d left the shoes out of it and started with that and then dinner, I’d have more sympathy.

So a date can show up in anything ridiculous clothes they want and a person isn’t allowed to feel a little disappointed or uncomfortable about the negative attention it might draw? Where is the line? When is she allowed to feel disappointed? It’s the footwear equivalent of neon bicycle shorts imo. I’d be a little disappointed if a date showed up in those too. It’s ugly sporting equipment and a strange atattention attracting choice for a night out. I don’t think it’s unfair for her to be quietly offput by it. She values social awareness in a potential partner, I don’t think that’s unreasonable.

Does your favorite word start with F?

Wow, it the language really necessary? It seems her vocabulary is so limited that she had to fill in the story with the foul language rather than constructive descriptive words. Just saying…

So, this was a sucky date, but I think it’s of the usual “nothing in common” variety that most bad dates tend to be.

A lot of people who ascribe to a “Paleo” lifestyle wear those shoes because they promote a more natural way of walking. I wear them to run, which has alleviated a lot of the recurring pain from a knee injury. I am going to make an assumption that this guy is a “Paleo” guy because of his comments about meat, and buying coconut milk, but he is eating granola…so maybe not.

Still not cool to berate someone for their lifestyle choices, especially on a first date.

Okay really, who are you freak commenters dating?? Everything aside, those shoes are a RIDICULOUS choice for a first date.

What a tool. And whats the deal with those shoes? Why not just wear some socks or something. It can’t be good for your joints. Also, whats the deal with people trying to tell others how to eat. You always hear people criticize vegans but you rarely see people giving shit to the fat slobs going through drive thrus constantly and eating processed garbage.

Do you think the dating world would be a bit more navigable if:

the only time you get complaints about what you wear is when you wear a 3 foot tall wig to the movie theatre.
the only time you get complaints about what you eat is when you’ve had too much cabbage.
the only time you get complaints about how you date is when you post your tales to a public site.

Man, I feel for you, OP, those shoes are fugly.

@ Lalli Why do people want to live a lifestyle where the average mortality rate was probably around 30?

JGirl – I can see your point. No matter what you’re eating, or not eating, someone’s going to be a jerk about it, and that’s not cool. As a celiac, I deal with that all the time.

As for the shoes, I think they suck as a date choice, unless you’re going running as a date. I don’t think it’s out of line to expect your date to dress with a reasonable amount of style.

For some reason a lot of people seem to get really aggressive about vegans. I don’t know why. Are they scared? Do they feel inferior or something? I’m fond of meat myself, and while I could consider vegetarianism, veganism would not work out for me. I still don’t see a reason to get worked up about vegans. Live and let live! (Except for the occasional cow/pig/chicken/sheep or two).

In general, I’d say that people care WAY too much about the eating habits of others. Hell, if OP being a vegan was a dealbreaker for him that’s fine… but definitely un-called for first-date discussions.

The guy sounds really obnoxious. This was definitely a bad date. Nice to read about one instead of my very worst relationship or the very worst guy I’ve met but never dated story. Kudos for you op for that and not letting him stick his tongue down your throat. Oh yeah those shoes are ugly, well, at least he didn’t show up in bunny rabbit slippers, like my date!

I feel you, OP, as I also EFFING HATE those shoes. Also, I wasn’t the least bit bothered by the swearing, and I also know that just because one doesn’t fear certain words based on nonsense cultural taboos, doesn’t mean they don’t have an well-developed vocabulary.

The various word-prudes commenting here might be interested to know that the only reason Anglo-Saxon words like “fuck” are considered bad is because of a scholarly bias toward the Latin versions (like coitus).

Sigh. *A* well-developed vocabulary. Leave it to Beaver to mess up when she’s being the word police.

Why is everyone bashing the OP? Those shoes are unforgivable (along with crocs). Even so, she said she didn’t mind dating a fashion victim because her ex had been one, too.

Don’t listen to them, OP, he was a dud for sure.

Haha I was thinking they were a couple of hipsters (he a freelance editor wearing toe shoes, she a vegan), but then they have crap taste in movies. I guess they are pseudo-hipsters. Fuckin Santa Cruz… Did they have vegan popcorn?

If someone showed up at my door with those shoes, I’d have ended the date right there. Sorry if anyone thinks that’s shallow, but I can’t imagine having anything in common with a guy who would wear those on a date.

So… “Easy A” came out two years ago. Has he been texting for that long, or was this story sitting in the queue for awhile?

The guy was totally wrong to give the OP a hard time for being vegan. Everybody knows that vegans are touchy and defensive about it and the smart move is not to date them at all.

I do think, though, that the OP ought to have been happy that the guy not only agreed to go see a stupid comedy aimed at preteen girls, but actually enjoyed it along with her.

I know a vegan that wears those shoes almost all the time. Just sayin’

OP: I’m sorry you didn’t click and he was clingy. At least you didn’t have to waste any time with him!

An Aside:
I try to respect everyone’s lifestyle choice, as I was a vegan. Some veg/vegans, though, are very vocal about their dislike of meat. My diet was closely monitored by my doctor, and we decided to change it due to health reasons (I wasn’t getting enough iron through supplements and vegetables, so I had to start eating red meat to help, among other dietary issues.) A guy was freaking out in the video game I play about the fact we were all murders, and when I told him he needed to calm down, and that the vegan lifestyle isn’t healthy for all people, citing my experience, he told me I was doing it wrong and started belitting me for being a “failure.” I’ve had people do things like that in real life, too. It does go both ways… and it shouldn’t.

Bad date aside, am I the only one who thinks that OP is entirely too fond of the parentheses?

Skade – I know what you mean! I don’t understand why vegan/vegetarianism gets people so riled up. I love meat as well as a vegan food; I don’t see a reason to argue against one or the other. People are picky about what they eat, but who gives a shit what someone else is eating? It’s not affecting you. (Unless the sight/smell makes you sick of course, but that’s another case entirely.)

It’s been my experience as a vegetarian and then vegan that some omnivores feel that you’re judging them merely by your dietary choices (without even saying anything). I don’t wear my veganism on my sleeve at all, but if someone notices I’m not eating meat or dairy (for example, at a work potluck) and asks me about it, and I simply reply that I follow a plant-based diet, I sometimes get really defensive responses.

My ex-boyfriend had a pair of those shoes. THEY WERE ALMOST $100. I say he HAD a pair of those shoes because when we broke up, I stole one. I will never give it back. Because fuck him.

I would not go out with someone who wore those shoes- you know, again.. because I did before but I really didn’t feel good about it at all. Other than the shoes, though… I dunno, maybe he was just nervous or maybe OP was being kind of a dick and he was reacting to her.

Those shoes are re-goddamned-diculous.

Good story OP, but @Monday: “Overly Defensive Omnivore bingo” made my day! Thanks!

Oh, hey, I once had a first date with a guy who wore those shoes.:D I wasn’t vegan then, but, if I had been, we’d have had problems – my guy was a paleo eater.

…come to think of it, this may be the same guy. Was he, like, SUPER tall?

Jebus, what is up with you guys and the shoes? Lots of people wear Vibrams, they’re not that big a deal. It’s just another kind of sport shoe–kinda weird looking, but I’m pretty sure there was a time in the history of shoes when Keds were weird looking. If you were going to the symphony they’d be inappropriate, but you were going to a freakin movie. Obviously it wasn’t a good date and the guy was kind of a tool, but the snarkiness of the OP tells me she’s not exactly a gem herself.

Wow… Seeing the comments in here about people judging others on fucking shoes.. makes me happy I’m happily married. Keep your head above the mud, people. The OP doesn’t like the shoes, the guy was a douche to judge her diet. They are both judgmental and end of story.